Staying Put: Making a Home in a Restless World

But first, the wrap-up.

Sanders makes a case for story trumping data when he quotes Flannery O’Connor, who admitted feeling, she said, “a certain embarrassment about being a storyteller in these times when stories are considered not quite as satisfying as statements and statements not quite as statistics…in the long run, a people is known, not by its statements or its statistics, but by the stories it tells” (157, 166).

“By what stories shall we be known?” Sanders muses (166).

What are we passing on? What content are we preserving on Facebook and blogs, in journals and memoirs? By what stories will this generation be known?

Sanders answers the question in part by telling his own stories. For example, he tells of returning to one of the places he lived when he was young. After revisiting old haunts, he ended up in a church, entering through an open back door. He observed the “squeaky pine boards of the floor,” child-sized tables used in Sunday school, and hooks where the choir would hang their robes. He continued:

Every few paces I halted, listening. The joints of the church cricked as the sun let it go. Birds fussed beyond the windows. But no one else was about; this relieved me, for here least of all was I prepared to explain myself. I had moved too long in circles where to confess an interest in religious things marked one as a charlatan, a sentimentalist, or a fool. No doubt I have all three qualities in my character. But I also have another quality, and that is an unshakable hunger to know who I am, where I am, and into what sort of cosmos I have been so briefly and astonishingly sprung. Whatever combination of shady motives might have led me here, the impulse that shook me right then was a craving to glimpse the very source of things. (190)

I always thought everyone shared that “unshakable hunger” to know who they are and where they are and from where they have been sprung.

But I have discovered that many people don’t relate to this. Perhaps they simply live in the moment without any desire to dig deeper into the soul or memory. Curious, they are not…at least, not about the past that makes the self. I, on the other hand, continually feel questions arise and want to find answers, seeking to know better who I am…and who I am becoming.

Aren’t we all becoming in the sense that we are always living yet another page in our story?

As we are busy living our stories, we aren’t necessarily telling our stories. When we venture to take on the role of a storyteller—an essential role, I believe—we add complicating layers. By revisiting our stories and reflecting on them, we can potentially affect the memories.

Sanders considers these layers and revisions and the tricks they can play on us. That visit of his to the tiny dot on the map known as Wayland represented the challenge of those layers:

There is more to be seen at any crossroads than one can see in a lifetime of looking. My return visit to Wayland was less than two hours long. Once again several hundred miles distant from that place, back here in my home ground making this model from slippery words, I cannot be sure where the pressure of mind has warped the surface of things. If you were to go there, you would not find every detail exactly as I have described it. How could you, bearing as you do a past quite different from mine? No doubt my memory, welling up through these lines, has played tricks with time and space…certain moments in one’s life cast their influence forward over all the moments that follow. My encounters in Wayland shaped me first as I lived through them, then again as I recalled them during my visit, and now as I write them down. That is of course why I write them down. The self is a fiction. I make up the story of myself with scraps of memory, sensation, reading, and hearsay. It is a tale I whisper against the dark. Only in rare moments of luck or courage do I hush, forget myself entirely, and listen to the silence that precedes and surrounds and follows all speech. (192-193)

It’s a bold statement to say that “the self is a fiction.” Is he right? Do we add to our story? Do we forget? Are we gently fabricating the self that we are, by telling ourselves a version of our past that makes the most sense, or sounds the best?

Do we fictionalize ourselves to the point of believing ourselves to have been far better, stronger, gentler, wiser, and funnier than witnesses would attest?

Or do we beat up on ourselves by fictionalizing and believing ourselves to have been far worse, weaker, harsher and more naive and blundering than witnesses would attest?

How can we revisit memories and tell our stories and understand ourselves in a way that is true, even if not 100 percent accurate?

Because who I am becoming flows out of who I have been. As a self, I would like to know the truth; as a storyteller, I would like to tell the truth.

All in order to continue becoming.

:::

Previous posts that discuss the book Staying Put:

Curiosity Journal: Geography of the Mind, Birdfeeders, Sarah Kay on Story and Mini Flash Mob

Curiosity Journal: Staying Put, Christmas Decor and Advent

Curiosity Journal: Extinct Green Parakeet, Puny Petunia, and First Snow

Curiosity Journal: November 16, 2011Curiosity Journal: November 9, 2011

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Note: This book is a title that I bought with my own money and selected from my personal library to read, enjoy and share briefly with you here. I was not compensated in any way by anyone nor did the publisher or author provide me with a complimentary review copy. My “reading” posts are not intended to be reviews; instead, I generally compose personal responses to passages from books I’m reading, focusing on the portions that I enjoy and pretty much ignoring sections with which I neither agree nor connect.Credits: all images by Ann Kroeker, all rights reserved.

Sanders, Scott Russell. Staying Put: Making a Home in a Restless World. Boston: Beacon Press, 1993. Print. (Amazon Associates Link)

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The post Who We Are Becoming appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

“this is a pen,” “this is a rose,” “this is a card.” It is assumed that the pen must be recognized as a pen so that a person can get on with the business of writing…What if a number of ordinary household objects were introduced to a child in a conditional way: “This could be a screwdriver, a fork, a sheet, a magnifying class”? Would that child be more fit for survival on a desert island (when the fork and screwdriver could double as tent pegs for the sheet, near a fire made by the magnifying glass)? (Langer 124)

I didn’t have to teach my kids that a pen was only a pen or a magnifying glass was only used to look at items up close. They quickly realized they could use a capped pen as a DS stylus and a magnifying glass to catch the sun and burn a hole in a piece of paper. When my kids were little, I would find pieces from board games mingling with Playmobil and money from Monopoly in a cash register that they used to play “store.” It drove me crazy; the banker was always short of money when playing Life and we never did locate all the jewelry from Pretty Pretty Princess when they merged it with their dress-up collection.But they were learning to make-do and solve problems. I sometimes wish I’d insisted they leave the board games intact, but I would soften as I watched them think—literally—outside the box, making new associations and spotting creative uses for all those plastic bits and pieces.Years ago, our friends had a cool set of nylon tunnels that could flip open for little kids to crawl through.After visiting their house and rolling around in those tunnels, our kids remarked that they’d love to have some tunnels, too. We didn’t buy any. Instead, our kids used clothespins to attach sheets to the couch and chairs for a makeshift tunnel that later morphed into a fort filled with pillows.They did so because they knew that big piece of material could be a sheet.Or it could be a tunnel.Or it could be a fort.Or it could be a cape. Or a toga. Or a cover for the bird cage. Or a tablecloth for the picnic table. Or an ocean for stuffed animals to sail across.

:::

I’m linking to The High Calling Book Club this week, as they work their way through Mindfulness, by Ellen Langer.Credits: Forks and clothespins by Ann Kroeker. Milk Crates Stacked by limonada (Emilie Eagan), used with permission.

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The post Could Be appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Each Wednesday I’m recording a Curiosity Journal to recap the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you’re keeping a Curiosity Journal, as well. Leave your link in the comments so that we can visit and enjoy your weekly review.

Reading

Currently in the One-Year Bible, I’m in Isaiah, and a lot of its message is difficult, even harsh.

But there is hope. The reading includes Isaiah 30:15, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”

I sip coffee. In returning and rest…in quietness and trust.

Filtered morning sunlight manages to push through the clouds and brighten my mug, my Bible. The quiet will end soon. Kids will slam drawers and doors, stick bread in the toaster, flip on the radio, pour cereal, and open and shut the fridge twenty-five to thirty times.

I want to linger here, before the noise builds; I want to live a life of quiet trust, even as problems present themselves. I think of this as I set my mug on the counter and carry the Bible to my desk. I’m relocating my stuff, because the kids have arrived. Plates of buttered raisin bread and bowls of frosted shredded mini-wheat thunk against the table. Milk sloshes over the rim of a bowl. Spoons ping and clink against ceramic. The kids and I discuss the day’s schedule. We pray.

This moment of quiet and attitude of trust is temporary, because soon a disagreement will break out about whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher. But it is good while it lasts. And I think about it later, when I begin to feel agitated by scheduling challenges and an awkward conversation with a family member.

Return and rest, I remind myself. Return and rest.

Playing

My son misplaced Bananagrams for a long time, but found it recently while searching for a green T-shirt that he’d also misplaced. The shirt was discovered inside-out and crumpled next to a chair in the corner of his bedroom. Apparently the bag of Bananagram tiles was nearby.

We’ve been playing. I actually stopped momentarily mid-game to snap this. Those of you familiar with Bananagrams knows how risky it is to interrupt one’s focus.

After a few more “peels,” a moment when players draw another tile, I successfully rearranged and repositioned letters to form new words, but a late acquisition tripped me up: “J.” Given a little more time, I could have juggled things and made it fit, but one of my daughters was too fast. She used up all of her tiles.

No more to draw from. Game over.

Learning

One of my daughters is in a government class. She’s about to study how a bill becomes a law, which will be fully explained in her textbook; but I’m thinking, What better explanation than this?

This more serious resource is helpful for quizzing how well a student (or adult) understands the Constitution.

Reacting

Two weekends ago, our cross country team ran in a well-organized invitational held at a community park. The course wove through some woods and down a little rolling hill and around a soccer field. One section was kind of confusing because the runners had to circle around a section twice, but the organizers sent parents from each team to direct athletes. In addition, a man on a bicycle rode in front of the lead runner to show the way.

No one got lost.

Last weekend, the team participated in another invitational. Start time was delayed so that by the time everyone gathered, the host wasn’t willing to take teams on a course tour. He started pointing. “Oh, it’s so simple,” he said. “You just go around that tree over there, loop around there two times, then the third time you go around there and run down that way around the playground and come back up this way and go down that way…” and so on. He concluded, “It’s easy. So easy. We don’t need to do a tour. It’s clearly marked—just follow the arrows.”

No cyclist led the way. No parents directed the runners to loop around the playground two times or pointed them through the woods. The starter shot the gun, and the runners were off, on their own, following the arrows best they could.

They got off course.

They lost their way.

It was heartbreaking to witness their long strides and the determination on their faces, only to realize that something was “off”; their times couldn’t possibly be as fast as those I was clocking.

It turned out that in spite of their hard work, their strong performance, their grit and excitement, most were disqualified. If you don’t run the course, your time doesn’t count.

How do I know, in life, if I’m on the right course? How do we avoid racing off in the wrong direction?

I think of Isaiah again, same passage as earlier:

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. (30:21)

Better than a bicycle leading the way—a voice from behind saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”

Writing

Lesson plans.

E-mails.

Journal entries.

Blog posts.

:::

Credits:

All photos copyright 2011 by Ann Kroeker.

The post Curiosity Journal: Sept. 21, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

While wiping the counters, I watched him, debating whether or not to say something. Should I recommend a better way?

My mind flashed to a summer day at the farm house where I grew up. After Dad and my brother finished mowing near the house, my job was to sweep the grass clippings from the back porch, a concrete slab about four by six feet.

I grabbed the straw broom from behind the door and started sweeping. I probably wasn’t working very quickly; I was likely daydreaming. I might have been gripping the broom awkwardly, sliding it across the concrete in wide, inefficient motions.

Suddenly, a shout. “Not like that!” Dad yanked the broom out of my hand. “You’re doing it all wrong! My mother taught me the right way. You have to make quick, short movements like this!”

Flick. Flick. Flick. Flick.

He handed me the broom. While he watched, critiquing, I had to practice it his way—or, rather, his mother’s way—adjusting my motions until I achieved the perfect flick. Finally satisfied, he returned to the mower. I  flicked the broom a few more times for effect, then ran inside and shoved it behind the door.

The grass was gone; so was my self-esteem.

Watching my son in the kitchen as he managed to corral the crumbs, I decided to keep quiet. Perhaps in the years to come he’ll watch others at work and learn to adjust his hold on the handle; or maybe he’ll figure out how to sweep quickly and thoroughly by experimenting on his own.

But for now, he was collecting most of the dirt. Wasn’t that the goal?

Anyway, who was I to criticize? After wiping the counters, I left streaks.

:::

Related reading at The High Calling: “Do the Job Your Way” by L.L. Barkat.Photo by Ann Kroeker, copyright 2011.

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The post A Better Way appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

By the time I was 13 or 14 years old, I realized the children’s department couldn’t provide the depth of information I craved. Shyly, I began browsing the adult nonfiction shelves for exercise books, vegetarian cookbooks, step-by-step drawing tutorials, and a series that taught survival skills, in case I ever acted on my dream of living by myself in the woods, like the kid in My Side of the Mountain.

One afternoon I glanced through books on writing. A title caught my eye: Write to Discover Yourself.

I looked both ways and plucked it from the shelf, running my fingers over the green cover with the fuchsia gerbera daisy poking out of a cup of pencils. It was a little cheesy, but…

Write. Discover.

I desperately wanted to understand myself and unearth who I was meant to become. And deep down, I wanted to write.

Cheeks flushed, heart thumping, I tucked the book under my arm to hide the title from anyone who might question my right to write or ridicule my search for self.I feared my family’s response most of all. In a household of word-people—both parents were journalists and my brother would eventually become an advertising executive—I was the vegetarian runner who asked for art supplies at Christmas. Compared with my family, I had never demonstrated noteworthy writing talent. I lost every game of Scrabble, and at that point, my latest story was about a ladybug in search of a home.

Me? Write?

Yes, I resolved. I would quietly write to “discover myself.”

This became my secret. I retreated to my room, scribbling responses to the author’s writing exercises in spiral-bound notebooks that I would stuff deep into my closet so that no one would peek.

I kept a journal and followed instructions to “portrait” the important people in my life, exploring memories, capturing life.

I sat on the wooden floor of my upstairs bedroom scratching out a word-portrait of my father, struggling to express the way his resonant voice, rising from deep within his barrel chest, could build and fill—even shake—the entire house. Or was it just me, shaking? On page after page of the book, the author encouraged me to continue being specific, to use concrete details and metaphor. On page after page of my notebooks, I poured out stories from my little world.

Digging into yourself requires a depth of honesty that is painful, she said, but imperative (Vaughn 25). She quoted a professor who said that a writer “is the person with his skin off” (24). This is how I began to decipher my life—on the pages of a journal, I wrote with my skin off: bare, raw, vulnerable.

My journalist-parents didn’t write like that, nor did my quick-witted brother. At least, I was pretty sure they didn’t.

Of my family, I alone seemed to practice this private outpouring of words and deeply personal stories that would form a base for future work. With the help of a stumbled-upon writing book, I privately peeled back layers to stare at my heart, my soul. And I began, through practice, through pain, through prayer, the lifelong process of finding myself.

:::

Work Cited

Vaughn, Ruth. Write to Discover Yourself. Garden City, New York: Doubleday, 1980. Print. (currently out of print)

Note: this post contains affiliate links.

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“A genial marriage of practice and theory. For writers new and seasoned. This book is a winner.”

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The post Write to Discover and Decipher Life appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Each Wednesday I’m recording a Curiosity Journal to recap the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you’re keeping a Curiosity Journal, as well. Leave your link in the comments so that we can visit and enjoy your weekly review.

Reading

A few months ago I saw a book titled The Sacredness of Questioning Everything. Intrigued, I thought I should order it—after all, a book about questioning seems appropriate for a person who keeps a Curiosity Journal. But the thought skipped past, and I failed to act on it.Some time later I learned that an author named David Dark was leading a session at the Laity Lodge Writers’ Retreat. I had never heard of David Dark, but, boy, did I love his name! Sounds like the alter ego of some comic book hero who transforms from local television news reporter to powerful, shadowy superhero that swooshes in unnoticed to confound a villain and foil his dastardly plans.Turns out David Dark is a writer of Christian nonfiction.Of course, that might just be his cover: nonfiction author by day, unstoppable superhero by night.Anyway, I finally put it together that David Dark authored The Sacredness of Questioning Everything, which I did, at last, order.Meanwhile, a couple of days ago, while leafing through my daughter’s college reading material, I spotted a quote from that very book, where Dark claims, “Show me a transcript of the words you’ve spoken, typed or texted in the course of a day, an account of your doing, and a record of your transactions, and I’ll show you your religion” (David Dark, as quoted by Jeff Cramer).David Dark, who was completely unknown to me a month or so ago, has practically become a household name.

Playing

I forgot to post pictures from the birthday boy’s gathering a couple of weekends ago. Our friends bought him Blokus.A game suitable for a wide range of ages.While four people played Blokus, our youngest guest unearthed some toy handcuffs and latched one cuff around his mom’s wrist. Click. He attached the other to the chair. Click.Ha-ha-ha. His mom was momentarily handcuffed to a spindle of the chair, until, at her request, he released the cuff attached to the chair with the click of a button. The other cuff, however, remained snug against her wrist.Ha-ha…uh-oh.The click-of-a-button didn’t release the second cuff. It was stuck. She said she wasn’t nervous, but after her husband, a scientist, and the Belgian Wonder, an all-around problem-solver, fiddled with it for twenty-five minutes without success, I felt nervous.The two men worked together, offering theories as to why it happened and suggestions for how to jigger it loose. Eventually, they figured out its mechanism, so the Belgian Wonder used pliers to turn a lever while the scientist poked a skinny, sharp tool into a tiny hole to trigger a broken release button.The cuff popped open.But not before leaving its mark.

Learning

I’m learning never to leave broken toy handcuffs out where a six-year-old boy can get his hands on them—his first thought, of course, is to snap them around someone’s hands, which will immediately alter the mood of any gathering.Also—and this is an aside, but—never ever brag about what a good dog you own. That day or the next will be the day he does something very naughty, or very gross.And that’s all I have to say about that.

Reacting

My first progressive lenses are leaving me feeling a little dizzy…and a little old.

Writing

Charity’s call to become masterful intrigues me. Unsure how to proceed, but considering ideas.Come to think of it, I’m invited to submit 1000-2000 words of a complete essay or a work in progress to my Writer’s Retreat workshop leader, so I suppose I should start there. The session is on memoir and the deadline looms.Yes, I should begin immediately.

:::

Credits:Cramer, Jeff. “Keeping Technology in Context.” Computing & Culture-Applications & Context. Boston: Pearson Learning Solutions, 2011. Print.All photos copyright 2011 by Ann Kroeker.Note: This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

There’s always more to come: subscribe to Ann Kroeker by e-mail

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The post Curiosity Journal: Sept. 7, 2011 (David Dark, Blokus, handcuffs, aging, masterful memoir) appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Each Wednesday I’m recording a Curiosity Journal, a recap of the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you’re keeping a Curiosity Journal, as well. Leave your link in the comments so that we can visit and enjoy your weekly review.

Reading

I’ve got to finish organizing the class I’m facilitating, which has me reading books like The Lively Art of Writing, Essays & Term Papers, and that little classic I always enjoy re-reading, The Elements of Style.A recent distraction arrived in the form of a philosophy book. My sister-in-law with the PhD in philosophy, whom I frequently pester with questions, recommended a nice, simple, mentally digestible overview called, What Does It All Mean?: A Very Short Introduction to Philosophy, which I requested through our inter-library loan system. I kind of forgot about it until I opened the notification that it arrived. Because I requested it, I was obligated to pick it up. Now I’m tempted to leaf through that slim volume and read a few paragraphs, but I really must focus on class preparations.Fortunately I have three weeks to read and return the book, and it is truly very short. Maybe I’ll take a break over the weekend and zoom through it. Then over fall break I could try to finish Sophie’s World and then, throughout winter, surprise you by slipping into my posts an assortment of deep thoughts and philosophical musings.But first I must ask…what is the meaning of thought?(Just trying out some philosopher-speak.)

Playing

Remember the PhotoPlay assignment I told you about? The one that The High Calling Photo Editor Claire Burge put together?

I didn’t finish it.I only have four out of five photos.Claire asked participants to upload five images that represent their history. Her assignment?Each image must answer a question below, one question per image:

1. Who made up your DNA?
2. Where do you come from?
3. What object is precious to your past?
4. What memory resonates most deeply?
5. What moment in history marks your childhood?

She said to find symbols to portray the memories.I couldn’t find five symbols or images. Only four. I’ve highlighted them in the list above.I am connecting this shot of a gate with “Where do you come from?”I featured this photo in yesterday’s post but have chosen to share it here, as well, in connection with that question. Perhaps one day I can put words to why it answers “Where do I come from?” For now, the image alone must suffice.Though I suspect that eventually the more symbolic gate will generate deeper memories, I’m submitting the following photo for “What memory resonates most deeply?” To read about the memory that spontaneously came to the surface, see yesterday’s post.For the precious object, I’m cheating a little. I didn’t really think of anything that was precious to my past, but I did love to climb to the top of our metal play set and overlook the farm fields. And I would pump the see-saw so that it reached its full extension, with or without a companion on the other seat. I kept it up for years until wasps took up residence in the hollow frame.“Who made up your DNA?”Here’s a shot of some hands I’m related to:Or maybe these would work:

Learning

I’m learning that reflecting on the past and thinking in symbols is hard.

Reacting

It seems I get a lot of my early news flashes through social media. For example, I saw that Chris Cree, founder of EmmanuelPress, mentioned on Facebook and Twitter that an earthquake had shaken Colorado. Today, I heard via e-mail about the earthquake in Virginia.I’m sorry to hear that some spires on the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., were damaged, and the Washington Monument appears cracked. But it sounds like people were spared and no major catastrophes resulted from the shaking.I know it must be disconcerting to experience an earthquake in a place that is rarely hit (our state felt a minor rumble last year and talked about it all day), but this made me laugh.

Writing

Mostly writing lesson plans.

:::

Credits:Question mark image: “Question Proposed” photo by Ethan Lofton. Used under a Creative Commons license via Flickr.com.All other photos copyright 2011 by Ann Kroeker.Note: This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

There’s always more to come: subscribe to Ann Kroeker by e-mail

Want to slow down in our fast-paced world? Check out Not So Fast.

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The post Curiosity Journal: August 24, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

On Saturday I roamed the farm where I grew up, camera swinging from my neck, lens cap tucked in my pocket, eyes peeled for texture and angles; soul searching, too, I suppose, for memories, for clues to who I am…even why I am who I am.

I studied flaking paint on aging sheds, slowly stripped by winter wind and snow down to raw wood, warping.

Near the barn stand gates in disuse, leaning, rotting, rusting.

I photographed two old tractors parked under an overhang.

Every once in a while, Dad would let me lean against the fender and ride with him into the fields. I gripped the edges, petrified I’d fall. I’d feel the Bush Hog® power to life and the blades engage, spinning, hacking down weeds.

The tractors sit quietly in the barn lot, parked in the spot where Black Angus cattle used to eat from the manger.I stepped gingerly into the barn, on the lookout for spiders, swallows, mice and ‘coons. An old box car ladder was mounted to the wall years ago, maybe a hundred years ago, for farmers to get to the loft. I climbed it.

In the filtered, cloudy midday light, I studied the floorboards coated with a loose, thin layer of chaff mingled with bird droppings and layers of dust. Later my sister-in-law scolded me for going up there, thinking it can’t be good for a person with asthma.

One look at the loft and I remembered an afternoon in the ’80s when I carried up my silver boom box and turned on the radio waiting for “Footloose.” Within a few short minutes, it played. And I danced. The loft was almost empty, so I spun and leaped and it’s a wonder I didn’t slam a shoe right through the rickety boards.

A shaft of deep yellow afternoon sun streaked straight in as the sun set that day. I remember the shape defined by the window, how I danced through the beam, stirring up chaff, until I was sweating and spent. When the song ended, I sagged to the floor.

All these years later, I lifted and placed my feet slowly, deliberately, careful not to stir up dust. I am long removed from the days of dancing in the loft; I climbed back down, wondering how long it’s been since my dad kept cattle, when secure gates were critical…

…when bright white out buildings stood straight, boards nailed secure…

…when the tractor rumbled down the lane to hack down weeds.

I was prowling in the weeds out by the tool shed, focusing on old red fuel tanks and the corrugated roof of the dog house when my brother showed up to help my dad move some soil and cinder blocks.

While he emptied the wheelbarrow of rainwater and shoveled some soil, I was out looking for myself.

I pondered questions posed by a photographer:

1. Who made up your DNA?
2. Where do you come from?
3. What object is precious to your past?
4. What memory resonates most deeply?
5. What moment in history marks your childhood?

In the barn lot and loft, I’d hoped for a flood of vignettes and strong emotions. A psychological epiphany would be fun to report.

No vignettes. No powerful emotions. No epiphany.

No clues to who or why I am.

Only the dancing.

Dancing in the loft.

Alone.

* * *

All content and images are copyrighted © 2011 Ann Kroeker. These images may not be reproduced, copied, transmitted or manipulated without written permission.

___________________________________

52 Creative Writing Prompts: A Year of Weekly Prompts and Exercises to Boost Your Creativity

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The post Dancing in the Loft: Reflecting on Self appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Each Wednesday I’m recording a Curiosity Journal, a recap of the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you’re keeping a Curiosity Journal, as well. Leave your link in the comments so that we can visit and enjoy your weekly review.

Reading

Slow summer mornings, sunshine streams through waggling leaves that cast dancing shadows on the kitchen table. The season spoils me; I relish this temperature, this pace, this flexibility, this time to rest…and read.I sit with my Bible, The Imitation of Christ, and My Utmost for His Highest. Sometimes I scribble notes or copy passages into my blank book. Sometimes I just read and sit at the table sipping creamy coffee from a small red mug and thank the Lord for reminders, for truth, for hope, for pointing me to Him.Slow mornings give way to school schedules, and the freedom to sit is snatched away—replaced by appointments, deadlines, expectations. It is time to shift gears to a more disciplined life; to organize the days and follow a plan.The hardest part, I think, is this time of transition.I read my last “whim” book—the last book I randomly snatched from the shelf because it caught my eye. Milkweed, by Jerry Spinelli. Set in Poland just prior to the Nazi invasion and written in the voice of a tiny street urchin whose naivete presents the atrocities endured by Jews in the Warsaw ghetto. Simply written, powerfully told. I’m going to give it to my junior high and high school daughters to read.

Playing

Claire Burge has given TheHighCalling photographers a PhotoPlay assignment:

For this month’s PhotoPlay, capture five images that represent your history. Each image must answer a question below, one question per image:

1. Who made up your DNA?
2. Where do you come from?
3. What object is precious to your past?
4. What memory resonates most deeply?
5. What moment in history marks your childhood?

Symbolism is important in recollection. To assist your photo search, find symbols to portray the memories that come back to you.

Claire may call this PhotoPlay, but it sounds more like PhotoWork. Deep, heart-probing work. I simply may not have the time or energy necessary to dig in and truly reveal who I am in this way; I doubt that in two weeks’ time I can isolate defining objects or moments from the muddle of memories that tumble in the recesses of my mind. Can I cope with what I unearth…at one of the busiest times of the year?We’ll see.Maybe I’ll participate, maybe not.But it does open up a set of questions and curiosity about myself.Reminds me of a phrase from Write to Discover Yourself that Ruth Vaughn proposed a writer ask herself. In chapter two, “The Diary/Journal,” she writes:

When I taught creative writing in college, I used to write two words on the board for the students’ first assignment:I WHY?I offer you that question as your first and ever-ongoing assignment in writing creatively. (Vaughn 7)

She recommends writing about one’s parents—descriptions of physical characteristics, memories, portraits of the past and how one feels about them. Write about the earliest memories: times you laughed or cried, times in a secret childhood spot, times in school that marked success…and failure. “Probe. Remember. Write it out,” Vaughn advises (11). Write in total honest and freedom, she says, with that diary or journal as a constant companion on the journey to discovering the answer to “I WHY?”

Take the time and effort to go back and try to capture the memories of your life from earliest childhood to present. Let nothing be too trivial to explore. It if survives in your memory, it was significant in some way. From such inner exploration will come self-knowledge, life-understanding, and increasing dimensions of wisdom…Also, you will be forming a reservoir of material which will provide the “stuff” of your writing in all future years. (11-12)

Because, she posits, as we write our way to the answer, we will be free to write creatively and powerfully for ourselves, for God, and for others.

Learning

I asked my doctor about the dangers of using a steroid inhaler for a long time, as she is recommending it for treatment of my lingering cough. She conceded that there are definitely some concerns, such as loss of bone density, though that is associated more with oral steroids than with inhaled. In any case, she said, “I’m more concerned that we need to be treating your lungs at this point. There are more serious side effects if they are left untreated.””Like what?”She looked me in the eye and said, “If you can’t control your asthma, you won’t be able to breathe.” She paused and stared at me.”And if I can’t breathe…” I said, nodding slowly, beginning to understand the severity of my diagnosis.She began to nod, as well, and then just said it: “If you can’t breathe, you die.”I now carry an albuterol inhaler with me all the time.

Reacting

Not a fan of Fall (Fall, after all, descends into stark, bleak winter), I grieve a little every day the morning temperatures feel the least bit crisp. I am clinging to every streak of sunshine, soaking it in, trying to absorb bone-deep memories of warm.

Writing

These days it seems I’m busier with start-of-school stuff than writing. Also, preparing to facilitate a high school writing class, I’m entering a coaching mode. But I squeak out a blog post now and then.

Works Cited:Vaughn, Ruth. Write to Discover Yourself. Garden City, NY: Doubleday & Co., 1980. Print.Question mark image: “Question Proposed” photo by Ethan Lofton. Used under a Creative Commons license via Flickr.com.All other photos taken of a friend’s flower garden by Ann Kroeker.Note: This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

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The post Curiosity Journal: Aug 17, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

On Four Things that Bring PeaceCHRIST. My son, I will now teach you the way of peace and true freedom.THE DISCIPLE. Lord, instruct me, I pray. I am eager to learn.CHRIST. My son, resolve to do the will of others rather than your own. (Matt.26:39)Always choose to possess less rather than more. (Matt.10:10)Always take the lowest place, and regard yourself as less than others. (Luke 14:10)Desire and pray always that God’s will may be perfectly fulfilled in you. (Matt. 6:10)A man who observes these rules shall come to enjoy peace and tranquillity of soul.THE DISCIPLE. Lord, in these few words of Yours lie the whole secret of perfection. If I could only faithfully observe them, no trouble could distress me. For whenever I am anxious- and weary, I find that it is because I have strayed from Your teaching. All things are in Your power, and You always long to bring souls to perfection. Give me your grace ever more richly; help me to keep Your word and advance my salvation.(From The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas à Kempis; my emphasis of words in bold)

:::

Back from vacation, where everything our family of six needed fit comfortably into a minivan and pop-up trailer, I begin to study my belongings. What can I eliminate?

Browsing my bookshelves, I pluck a title and consider. Keep? Sell? Give away?

I toss it into the give away box.

One thin volume from a vast collection, but it’s one less thing. One less possession.

Always choose to possess less rather than more, wrote à Kempis. It’s one way, he claims, to enjoy peace and tranquility of soul.

I live in a land of acquisition, and those who acquire must store, protect, maintain, and repair the things acquired. When I survey all that I’ve acquired, I realize that it’s nothing but stuff. Stuff. And this stuff does not lead to peace and tranquility. Rather, it demands my time and attention: I’m frequently thinking about it, researching it, arranging my space to accommodate it.

I don’t want a life revolving around stuff.

My friend and I passed through the garage one afternoon as we headed to the pool.

“Behold, our junk,” I said, a hint of disgust punctuating the word “junk” as I waved my hand toward the stacks of boxes, piles of drain pipes, and haphazard collection of toys, bikes, rakes, garden tools and paint cans.

“Wow,” she marveled, “it amazes me how we can end up with so much stuff.”

So. Much. Stuff.

To be burdened by too much stuff. A first-world problem, for sure.

Embarrassing. Humiliating. Exhausting.

To enjoy peace and tranquility of soul, possess less.

I’m slowly letting go, emptying, possessing less.

How strange that I am looking forward to this tangible result to mark progress: the luxury of an empty shelf.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,where moth and rest destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”(Matthew 6:19)

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Each Wednesday I’m recording a Curiosity Journal, a recap of the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you’re keeping a Curiosity Journal, as well. Leave your link in the comments so that we can visit and enjoy your weekly review.

Reading

I finished The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. To raise her happiness quotient, Rubin identified areas to explore and improve over the course of a year, dedicating a month to such goals as boosting energy, improving her marriage, making time for friends and pursuing a passion.While finishing up the last few chapters, I realized how personal a project like hers has to be; how each reader would have to define his own modest or audacious goals and resolutions. Though I won’t be launching a year-long happiness project, I am inspired to experiment with activities and evaluate values that may be misaligned or neglected.At her blog by the same name as the book, Rubin encourages others to pursue happiness in practical, measurable ways. This month’s theme at her blog is “creativity” and this week’s resolution is to do something every day. You can watch her vlog to learn more.I pulled another book off my shelf, but hesitate revealing the title because it is so over-the-top. I don’t want you to think I’m too big for my britches.Oh, I’ll tell you anyway. It’s called How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day, by Michael J. Gelb.The first step to genius (stop snickering) is “Curiosità: An insatiably Curious Approach to Life and an Unrelenting Quest for Continual Learning” (Gelb 48).As you probably know, da Vinci’s notebooks model vibrant curiosity and creativity. Questions, observations, and sketches of fanciful inventions as well as meticulous anatomical studies cover the pages.I’ve resolved to get a blank book to serve as a Leonardo-style journal. Presumptuous? Perhaps. But, hey, it’s a free country. And while genius is rare, nice blank books are easy to come by, so they must be intended for the common man. Just imagine if, while writing and sketching, more and more people tap into latent genius just waiting to express itself on those clean white pages.Gelb encourages a few curiosity-starters for one’s journal, including ten “power questions.” The first one could launch a fascinating self-analysis session:“When am I most naturally myself? What people, places, and activities allow me to feel most fully myself?” (Gelb 60).I scribbled it in my old lined journal this morning, but haven’t fully explored it yet nor reached a conclusion. How about you? When are you most naturally yourself?

Playing

On Sunday, to participate in Monday’s Gratitude Community at Holy Experience, I poked around our property looking for stuff I’m grateful for—stuff that makes me happy. Now I see why Claire Burge, photo editor for TheHighCalling, coined the name “PhotoPlay” to capture the fun of our community photography projects. As I moved in close or experimented with angles, I realized how much I love it.

Learning

Thanks to Charity, I learned about the bokeh effect. And then on my photo outing, I happened to snap a shot that produced those blurred circles of light shimmering in the background, lending a hint of mystery or romance to an otherwise mundane scene.I’m tickled, I tell you.This happy accident reawakened my long-time desire to be a better photographer, so when I stumbled upon Shelli at Hopefully Devoted and she sent me to Darcy’s “31 Days to a Better Photo” series, I bookmarked it and took note of the first two assignments.Day 1: Take the photo. “You will never get a second chance at that moment,” Darcy advises. “It’s a simple one, clearly. But how many times have you meant to bring the camera but didn’t?”Day 2: Find your camera manual. Implied, of course, is to find and read your camera manual. I’ve found it; now I need to read it.

Reacting

I guess the biggest news is the Casey Anthony “not-guilty” verdict, but I haven’t been following it closely enough to react publicly.

Writing

My continual flow of words has splashed across the computer screen and into a blog post or dribbled more slowly onto the physical pages of a bound journal. No big projects are in progress at the moment, however, unless you count the writing class for which I’m prepping. And I don’t count that, so you shouldn’t, either.

Work Cited:Gelb, Michael J. How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day. New York: Dell, 1998. Print.

Image Credits:Leonardo Notebook by Todd Dailey. Used under a Creative Commons license via Flickr.com.

“Question Proposed” photo by Ethan Lofton. Used under a Creative Commons license via Flickr.com.

Book cover, day lily, camera manual, and clothespin photos by Ann Kroeker.

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The post Curiosity Journal: July 6, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Shyly joining Ann Voskamp’s Gratitude Community.

The post Giving Thanks for Small Things in a Great Country appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Each Wednesday I’m recording a Curiosity Journal, a recap of the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you may begin posting a Curiosity Journal, as well. Leave your link in the comments so that we can visit and enjoy your weekly review.

Reading

I finished The Day I Became an Autodidact: and the advice, adventures, and acrimonies that befell me thereafter, by Kendall Hailey. With satisfaction (it was a good read) and melancholy (but now it’s over), I’m moving on to The Happiness Project.I confess I’m not finding The Happiness Project as irresistible as The Day I Became an Autodidact. Kendall spoiled me. Though her book was simple by design (it’s basically a compilation of diary entries), she churned out some good stuff.What was Kendall’s secret to such captivating writing, especially at such a young age? Was it her literary heritage as the daughter of playwright/screenwriter Oliver Hailey and novelist/screenwriter Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey? Or was it her steady diet of Great Books? As an autodidact, Kendall was continually reading classics, and writers are inevitably influenced by what they are exposed to, so maybe her natural talents were strengthened by close study of the stylistic pace and profound themes of the greats? She was also asked to serve her parents as an amanuensis (new word via Tuesday’s Merriam-Webster Word-of-the-Day subscription), which means she typed her parents’ manuscripts. She surely gained insight into constructing powerful stories while tapping out each word of those projects.Oh, look. It happened again. I got distracted by Kendall and the autodidact book.Though those last few paragraphs were analyzing how young Kendall Hailey could write so well, I really meant to say that I found a great William Butler Yeats quote in The Happiness Project: “Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing” (Rubin 66).I can personally attest to the correlation between happiness and growth. Most growth in my life—spiritual, intellectual, creative—is deeply satisfying (exception: growth around the midriff).

Playing

During my junior year at college, on a warm spring day, I plopped onto the couch and watched a movie. In the middle of the afternoon!I felt downright irresponsible as I neglected my studies for two hours and and instead vegged out in the living room of the house I shared with six other girls. But afterwards, as I rewound the tape and stretched my legs, I felt refreshed and ready to study for a test or tackle a literature paper.This past week, a couple of decades following that crazy stunt, I did it again. I watched “My Man Godfrey” (a Kendall Hailey favorite) in the middle of the afternoon! The windows were wide open as the movie played and I could hear our neighbors bustling around, attending to outside chores. I was so uncomfortably aware of their comings and goings that I considered closing the windows to muffle evidence of my sloth. What would they think of me squandering my time like that?In spite of my haunting sense of guilt, the movie was a delight. After laughing at a classic screwball comedy, I felt refreshed and relaxed.

Learning

Over the weekend, I attended my cousin’s wedding, which was held in a Greek Orthodox church.I learned quite a bit about the Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony. It included several meaningful elements, such as the crowning of the couple. I found a website that explained:

This is the focal point of the marriage ceremony. The crowns are signs of the glory and honor with which God crowns them during the sacrament. The wedding crowns (stefana) are joined by a ribbon which again symbolizes the unity of the couple and the presence of Christ who blesses and joins the couple and establishes them as the King and Queen of their home, which they will rule with wisdom, justice and integrity. The priest takes the two crowns and blesses The Bride and The Groom, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit and then places the crowns on them. The Koumbaro then steps behind The Bride and The Groom and interchanges the crowns three times as a witness to the sealing of the union.Some interpret the crowns used in the Orthodox wedding ceremony to refer to the crowns of Martyrdom since every true marriage involves immeasurable self sacrifice on both sides.

Another lovely moment was the Ceremonial Walk or “Dance of Isaiah,” when the couple circled the table three times (for the Trinity). They were led by the priest, who held up a fancy Bible, while their “sponsor” (koumbara), a friend who will walk with them through all the joys and sorrows of life, followed close behind. During this walk, or dance, the couple took their first steps as husband and wife following the Scripture, a symbol of their commitment and need to always follow the Gospel of Jesus.After the ceremony, a more typical practice: guests blew bubbles as the couple exited the church.Perhaps I should have included this shot under the “playing” category?

Reacting

Last week, when I provided an overview of Stefan Sagmeister’s happiness presentation, I referenced his resolution to do more of the things that he likes to do and fewer of the things that he doesn’t. After pondering his statement for a week or so, I’ve decided to list some of my own “happys.” By design, these are not big happys, like a wedding day, birth of a child or Hawaiian vacation (though I’m almost certain a Hawaiian vacation would make me very happy). These are little moments, happy opportunities that can potentially be enjoyed with greater frequency.Little Happys (not an exhaustive list and in no particular order):

• A good book (and time to read it)
• Learning something new
• The moment I realize I took a nice photo
• Having cleaned (but not cleaning)
• Having jogged (but not jogging)
• Weed-free flower beds (but not weeding)
• Solving a problem
• Helping someone else solve a problem
• Summer
• Hugs from my kids
• Hugs from my spouse
• Laughter (both hearing and producing it along with others)
• Walking along white-sand beaches of the Gulf of Mexico (sitting is fine, too)
• Walking along the tan-sand beaches of the Atlantic Ocean (again, sitting is fine)
• Slices of fresh-picked, vine-ripened, juicy red tomatoes (certain yellow varieties and Mr. Stripey are good, too)
• Time to write without having to block out continuous commotion
• The satisfaction of completing a quality writing project
• A clear desk
• Swaying in a hammock
• PG Tips black tea with honey
• Goat cheese on crackers or French bread
• Bonne Maman Four Fruit Preserves
• Feta
• Nutella
• Avocados
• Guacamole
• Homemade brownies (actually, any brownies)
• Clean, clear kitchen counter tops
• Morning birdsong
• Long conversations with friends
• Quiche

Writing

The curriculum for my fall writing class needs attention. Heaven knows I might already be done if I weren’t such a lazy bum, wasting all that time watching screwball comedies during work hours…

Work Cited:Rubin, Gretchen. The Happiness Project. New York: HarperCollins, 2009. Print.

Image Credits:“Question Proposed” photo by Ethan Lofton. Used under a Creative Commons license via Flickr.com. Wedding photo by Ann Kroeker; Ann blowing bubbles by P. Kroeker.

The post Curiosity Journal: June 29, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Each Wednesday I’m recording Curiosity Journal, a recap of the past week. Tag words are: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing.

:::

Some of you have mentioned that you may begin posting a Curiosity Journal, as well. Monica started up her Curiosity Journals last week, so if she publishes one today, I’ll send you over.

Reading: The Day I Became an Autodidact: and the advice, adventures, and acrimonies that befell me thereafter, by Kendall Hailey, is totally distracting me from all other titles.

Playing: Since I’m a miserable failure at playing games, I’ll show you the next-closest thing to play, and it involves my new best friend.

Remember how Tom Hanks’ character in “Castaway” had his friend Wilson?

Well, I have “Dunlop.” (I have yet to draw a face.)

Because I’ve categorized this under “Playing,” You might assume that I’ve taken Dunlop along to the neighborhood tennis courts to thwack him over the net.

You would be mistaken.

He’s playing a much more vital role in my life.

You see, I discovered the joys of using a tennis ball for back massage. I poked around some videos and instructional websites that encourage people to give it a go and thought, “This could be fun to try.”

Digging through some old boxes in the garage, I turned up Dunlop. And now, having tested his potential as a personal massage therapist, I am urging everyone to befriend a tennis ball.

Learning: I figured out how to get some “share” buttons on my blog using a WordPress.org plug-in. It automatically provided an RSS feed gizmo on the right that says “Follow” and stays visible as you scroll down the page. Not sure if I like that or not, but I was happy to learn how to get something installed. Now you can tell me if it’s easy to share this post with a simple click on the appropriate icon (all are displayed at the bottom of each post).

Reacting: Thursday night, Charity and I attended a lecture on Design and Happiness by Stefan Sagmeister held at the Art Museum. If you’re curious, take a minute to read Charity’s marvelous description of the evening. And this TED lecture has some of the same content, though the lecture we attended was much longer. And, if I might say so without bragging, as an audience we were much livelier than the TED audience (in spite of having waited two hours for Sagmeister to arrive).

Sagmeister is making a short documentary film about happiness, using himself as a guinea pig to test various theories on what can increase a person’s happiness and well being.

On Sunday, when we were with my parents and brother for Father’s Day, I told everyone Sagmeister’s statement that one simple and rather obvious way to increase happiness is to do more of the things that you like to do and fewer of the things that you don’t. So he made a list of things he likes to do, most of which were related to his work as a designer and artist.

I asked the others what would be on their lists. As everyone sat in thought for a moment, I turned to my dad and asked, “Well, since it’s Father’s Day, why don’t we start with you, Dad. What makes you happy?”

He cleared his throat and responded, “Well, I suppose it would be the same as what Winston Churchill said, that his idea of a good dinner would be to first have good food, then discuss good food, and then to discuss an interesting topic…with myself,” and here my dad pointed to himself, tapping his chest, “as chief conversationalist.”

Happiness for my dad, you see, is to be heard. As it turned out, he went on to introduce a variety of topics he was interested in and without a doubt, served as chief conversationalist. I gave him a book as a Father’s Day gift that may or may not make him happy; but as it turned out, we provided far more happiness than a physical gift could offer, simply by listening.

Because we were so accommodating to my dad, however, I never did find out what makes my mom or brother happy.

The next day, I was browsing the New Books section of the library and came across The Happiness Project, in keeping with the theme of the week. I checked it out and brought it home, but haven’t cracked it open yet because of the autodidact book.

Speaking of which, I was reading another chapter in The Day I Became an Autodidact, wherein Kendall’s Uncle Thomas, who is confined to a wheelchair, has a health scare. They almost lose him—he even undergoes brain surgery—but he makes it through and is able to return home. She writes:

It is 5:16 A.M. and I’ve just checked on Thomas and Puli [the dog]. Thomas is home and they’re back together–pretty cruel to make a man who just had brain surgery sleep with such a neurotic dog, but they’d missed each other.

I left them both sleeping soundly, which is what I now plan to do. I tend to check every hour through the night and Nanny will be up in about forty-five minutes. No one has told us to check so often, or that there’s any need to at all, but when you know where your happiness is, it does seem foolish not to check on it every once in a while. (Hailey 131)

When you know where your happiness is…check on it every once in a while.Where’s your happiness?

Writing: The stories I tell while filling these Curiosity Journal categories could be divided into several posts and published over several days. I wonder sometimes if I should spread stuff out. Of course, then you might not look forward to Wednesdays as much.

Works Cited:

Hailey, Kendall. The Day I Became an Autodidact: and the advice, adventures, and acrimonies that befell me thereafter. New York: Dell Publishing, 1988. Print.

“Question Proposed” photo by Ethan Lofton. Used under a Creative Commons license via Flickr.com. Tennis ball and book cover photos by Ann Kroeker.

The post Curiosity Journal: June 22, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Reading:

Playing:

Image Credits: All photos by Ann Kroeker.

The post Curiosity Journal: April 27, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

After a tragic banquet-hall collapse, of which he was the sole survivor, Simonides was asked to give an account of who was buried in the debris. When the poet closed his eyes and reconstructed the crumbled building in his imagination, he had an extraordinary realization: he remembered where each of the guests at the ill-fated dinner had been sitting. Even though he made no conscious effort to memorize the layout of the room, it nonetheless left a durable impression. From that simple observation, Simonides reportedly invented a technique that would form the basis of what came to be known as the art of memory. He realized that if there hadn’t been guests sitting at a banquet table but, say, every great Greek dramatist seated in order of birth — or each of the words of one of his poems or every item he needed to accomplish that day — he would have remembered that instead. He reasoned that just about anything could be imprinted upon our memories, and kept in good order, simply by constructing a building in the imagination and filling it with imagery of what needed to be recalled. This imagined edifice could then be walked through at any time in the future. Such a building would later come to be called a memory palace.

A memory palace! That’s what I need—an imaginary palace in which I can store the treasures of Scripture or the names of people I meet. But…a palace? I don’t know the layout of any palaces to use for my memory work.Not to worry! The author clarifies that these so-called “memory palaces” don’t need to be palatial; in fact, they don’t even need to be buildings. “They can be routes through a town or signs of the zodiac or even mythical creatures,” he says. “They can be big or small, indoors or outdoors, real or imaginary, so long as they are intimately familiar.”It could be, therefore, a building such as my childhood or current home, or a path such as my standard running route. I suppose it could even be the layout of my favorite grocery store.In that “palace,” I would paint scenes within its rooms and along its hallways, each scene “so unlike any other it cannot be forgotten.” I personally don’t have the goal to memorize material quickly, like the author did, but I would like to do it accurately. The author stated that many competitive “mnemonists” who enter speed memory contests claim that “their skills are less a feat of memory than of creativity.”He explains:

[O]ne of the most popular techniques used to memorize playing cards involves associating every card with an image of a celebrity performing some sort of a ludicrous — and therefore memorable — action on a mundane object. When it comes time to remember the order of a series of cards, those memorized images are shuffled and recombined to form new and unforgettable scenes in the mind’s eye. Using this technique, Ed Cooke showed me how an entire deck can be quickly transformed into a comically surreal, and unforgettable, memory palace.

The author is a bit crass in developing memorable images to help him make connections, but he practiced a lot and became a memory champion. I wonder if I could employ the basic ideas—without the crudeness—to improve my ability to memorize Scripture or names?Reacting: Gas prices may be soaring to $4/gallon in the months ahead. This has me thinking about our weekly schedule and driving habits, wondering if we should plan ahead and simplify in any way.Also, another study exploring the health effects of low-level radiation emitted from cell phones is “among the first and largest to document that the weak radio-frequency signals from cellphones have the potential to alter brain activity.” I recall the conversation I had  yesterday with a friend, chatting by cell phone. I had that gadget pressed against my head for half an hour or more. New resolve: locate my earpiece and use it!Writing: I’ve been working on four messages for a women’s retreat (March 4-6). It’s such a different process, writing something to be delivered by voice instead of the page or screen; but I’m looking forward to a weekend with a lovely group of ladies!There you have it. A Curiosity Journal that reveals what I’m reading, playing, learning, reacting to and writing.

Credit: Palace of Versailles image by Aaron White. Used under Creative Commons license via Flickr.

The post Curiosity Journal: Feb 23, 2011 appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Mega Memory Month January 2011

Final Celebration

It’s the last day of the month, January 31st, and Mega Memory Month comes to a close.Let’s share our projects, our progress, our successes…no matter how much or how little you were able to absorb. Seriously, every word is progress. Link up your posts via Simply Linked or create something to publish on the Facebook Event page for Mega Memory Month (write comments on the wall).Ann’s ProgressSo…this wasn’t my best Mega Memory Month, to say the least.Memorizing has rarely come easily, but this time I was extra sluggish. Also, I tried a new technique—starting at the end instead of the beginning—and I’m not 100 percent sure it was the best approach for me.My goal was to memorize John 15. I couldn’t put it all together, however, so I’m disappointed with myself.But I will begin at John 15, verse 15.And the only way I will be able to present this is to go over it beforehand and then when I am kinda-sorta ready, I’ll type it out. I will require prompting along the way, marking the spots where I needed a prompt like this {prompt} and missed material inserted in pink.

:::

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. {prompt} You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then my the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. {prompt} They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. If I had not come and spoken these words to them, they would not be guilty of sin: Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin.{prompt} He who hates me hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their law:  They hated me without reason.When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also will must testify about me for you have been with me from the beginning.

:::

I can get bits and pieces toward the beginning. Starting with 15:1:

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it might be even more fruitful. {prompt} You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.

[blank brain…skip to verse 5]

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

[blank brain]This section was a mess at verse 12: “My command is this: love one another each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you love one another do what I command.”It’s like puzzle pieces are floating around in my cranium, waiting to be placed correctly. I can say some of the remaining/missing phrases independently: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” And “I have told you this that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”Now I just have to stick them all together in the right order.Is it an “epic fail,” as my teen daughters would say?Yes.I did not finish well, as I set out to do on January 1.But I have my 3×5 cards and will continue. I will. Because failures, even “epic fails,” show us where we can pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and continue forward, making progress. We fall down; we get up.Also, Mega Memory Month can serve to kick-start the habit of memorization. I plan to continue on a small scale and will build in regular review, revisiting John 15 until I get it all straightened out. I hope you share that vision of continuing with less mega and more reasonable everyday effort throughout the months to come.My concluding thought for this Mega Memory Month project is this:Our brains can hold more than they think they can (but maybe not quite as much as we wish they could).

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Yesterday at High Calling Blogs, Michelle of Graceful posted a story about how she was caught fake-listening to her son.

• How often do I tune in or out?
• How guilty am I of fake-listening?
• What are my canned responses “interjected at appropriate moments to maintain the illusion of conversation”?

How often do I tune in or out?This is tricky, because as a work-from-home writer and editor, I don’t keep regular office hours. Worse, my desk is situated in a large shared room with the piano and comfiest couch, so someone is often in the room while I’m tapping away. The result of this arrangement? To get anything done I have to tune out! When I need to work uninterrupted for a chunk of time, I alert the family and they have respected my need to focus.Other times, when I’m doing light editing or answering e-mails, the kids come and go with various requests. Sometimes I’m in the midst of composing an e-mail (or blog post!) and need a few minutes to finish a thought. In those cases, I ask for five minutes to finish so that I can give them my full attention. When they have something to say and I’m able to break away, I do try to swivel away from my laptop in order to look them straight in the eyes.How guilty am I of fake-listening?I grew up with a family member who told and repeated long stories. The stories dragged on and on; as a result, I developed pretty impressive fake-listening skills. I could be generating a storyline in my head and still give the illusion of listening. When I was in top form, this person seemed to believe I was completely engaged, though perhaps the speaker was also pretending—pretending I was listening to the story in order to have an excuse to continue talking. That’s possible. We humans are pretty desperate to be heard. I’m not proud of my fake-listening skills and do not want to be practicing them with my husband and kids.But I have moments. Two of my four kids in particular love to have an ear and can go on and on. I’ve had to snap to attention and get my brain lined up with their stream of words. At the same time, I’m trying to teach one of them to summarize and pick up on clues from others, especially adults, who are trying to break away–important “emotional intelligence” skills to develop in order to relate well to people. What are my canned responses “interjected at appropriate moments to maintain the illusion of conversation”?I share “Really?” “Wow!” and “Hmmmm” with Michelle as three top responses. Maybe even “That’s interesting.”But my top response is “Oh.”I like its versatility. It can be expressed with a hint of surprise: “Oh!”Or it can invite the speaker to elaborate: “Oh?” Sometimes it’s a way to communicate that I get a person’s joke or learned something new: “Ohhhhhh” (a grin and knowing nod accompany this one). In this use, the “Ohhhhhh” occasionally morphs into an “Ahhhhhh.”This handy word (or is it just a sound?) can also acknowledge that I heard them and there’s not much more to say in response other than a simple and earnest, “Oh” (or “Ah”); as in “Oh, I see” or “Ah, yes.”I’ve even noticed one of my kids picking up on this use of “Ah” as a means of acknowledging that he heard and processed my response. For example, today my youngest asked, “What does ‘promote’ mean, Mom?”“We could look it up,” I said, “but it means to cause someone to kind of move up to a better job or position. A boss can promote someone at work.”“Ah.”I admit that my use of “oh” can be a way to fake-listen. But it can also be a legitimate response after truly hearing what my child (or anyone) is saying.Yesterday afternoon I was feeling extremely tired, so I headed up to my bed to lie down for a few minutes. I was planning to let my mind wander a little in the quiet of my room.“Mom?” my son called out to me. “Mom? Where are you?”Sigh.“I’m upstairs.”He bounded up the stairs and stood in the bedroom doorway. “Can I come in?”“Sure.”He slipped to the side of the bed. “Are you okay?” he asked.“I’m fine. I just came upstairs to lie down for a few minutes. You can join me, if you like.” I folded back the covers and scooted over. He climbed in and lay there staring at the ceiling for a minute.“Percy Jackson had to defeat a Hydra in some building in Nashville, Tennessee,” he began, reviewing some key scenes from the movie Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. “And then he went to some garden where he defeated Medusa.”I was relaxed and reflective, but I was listening. “Hmmmm,” I murmured.“I think it was in Michigan,” he continued, “but I’m not sure.”“That’s interesting,” I replied.“But his mom got out of Hades and he got the lightning bolt back to Zeus.”“Really?”“Yes, and then it ended with him practicing fighting with Athena’s daughter.”“Ohhhhh,” I replied. “That sounds nice. Did he get to meet his dad?”“His dad? Poseidon? Yes, he did.”“Ah.”Same words as my canned responses, but these weren’t canned. I was listening. And in spite of how hot it was that afternoon, I let my son snuggle close and kissed him on the cheek.“listen to me…” photo by Michela Mongardi. Available under a Creative Commons license through Flickr.com.

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We parents joined the circle of junior high kids to pray together before sending them off on a week-long bicycle trip.

The Congolese driver overheard

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1. Hosting: We’re hosting out-of-country guests for several days–my in-laws from Belgium are here! What a privilege to spend time with them, catching up after a long separation (we only see them every few years).
2. 31 Days Project: Several of my friends at HighCallingBlogs.com (HCB) are participating in a 31 Day to Build a Better Blog project. With guests in town during much of the month, I knew I could never keep up. But one of the assignments was the create a list post, so this is mine. I created a list post over at NotSoFastBook.com, as well. Today’s assignment is to join a forum and participate. HCB serves as my forum.
3. End of School Year: Like many of us, I’m wrapping up the 2009-2010 school year. Wrap-up includes work with our homeschool co-op where I facilitate an American Literature class as well as our work at home. In fact, as soon as I publish this post, I’m grading a stack of papers. In addition, invitations to open houses and graduations are rolling in. May is maxed out.
4. Mini Marathon: I mentioned on Twitter here and here and Facebook that our family (except The Boy) finished the Indy 500 Mini Marathon, the nation’s largest half-marathon. The two older girls walked it; the Belgian Wonder and I “wogged” it with our youngest daughter.
5. Ann Kroeker Facebook page: I set up an Ann Kroeker Facebook page (which is unfortunately known as a “fan” page … please don’t think I’m picturing myself as a celebrity with fans!). It’s just a place where anyone can visit me on Facebook. Feel free to pop by and “like” the page. If you do so, updates I post there will show up in your news feed. You don’ t have to friend me on Facebook to follow my updates. Also, you can post your own links and such right on the Ann Kroeker page, so if you have a “slow-down solution” you’ve found, for example, or if you write a relevant blog post, post it there; the Ann Kroeker page can be a place where we connect on that Not So Fast topic, as well other ideas and themes. I’m just starting to tap into its potential and look forward to developing it when I get through May and enter the freer summer months.
6. To Kill a Mockingbird: The last book of the school year that we’re reading for the co-op is To Kill a Mockingbird. Re-reading it for the fourth time with the students, I find myself reading a chapter, slapping the book shut with satisfaction, and shouting “I love this book!” to anyone who happens to be in the vicinity.
7. Teen Driver: My eldest daughter has been driving on her permit for some time, but this Wednesday she takes her official driving test. The following Tuesday she can take her written test. After that, if all goes well, she gets her operator’s license. Don’t be frightened; she’s a pretty good driver.
8. Camera: I was given the gift of a nice new camera at Christmas—a splurge gift that the Belgian Wonder and I have been discussing for years (but never acted on … until now). I don’t have aspirations of gradually upgrading equipment to professional quality; I’m not even a gifted amateur. But even as an average, everyday photographer, I have really loved learning new things as I happily click away. Photoplay tips from the HCB photo editor Claire Burge have inspired, as well. The results motivate me to try new things and shoot even more snapshots of our daily lives. So I just want to publicly thank my husband and the whole family for blessing me, and I hope my experiments bless the six of us with pleasing visual records of this era of our lives. Ironically, I’m not including a photo of the camera; I tried to take one in the mirror, but it didn’t turn out quite right.
9. Speaking: I spoke at St. Mark’s Methodist Church in Carmel, Indiana, a couple of weeks ago. On the weekend of May 22-23, I’ll be interviewed at Grace Community Church in Noblesville, Indiana, on the topic of families slowing down and simplifying enough to nurture a more contemplative life, seeking and submitting to Christ together.
10. “How can I help?”: My father-in-law grew up in what was then the Belgian Congo (now Democratic Republic of Congo, or DRC). We’re looking forward to hearing stories and seeing pictures from a recent trip to DRC. In his travels throughout the cities of Kinshasa, Kikwit, and out into the rural areas of the Bandundu province, he asked the people, “How can we help?” We will get to hear what the people said when my father-in-law posed the question and listened; we will learn how we can help.

I wonder what the world could be like if we all asked that question and listened carefully to the response? How can we help? We could ask it country to country, church to church, neighbor to neighbor, child to parent—anyone to anyone: “How can I help?” Can we try it today, with someone we love? Can we ask with open minds and hearts … and truly listen?

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My mom worked as the editor of our local newspaper, covering news all over the county. If a reporter couldn’t make it to an event, Mom would grab her camera, reporter’s pad, and pen—and quite often her daughter—to capture the news herself.

This meant that whether I wanted to or not, I visited sporting events, live nativity scenes, church bazaars, festivals, fairs, horse pulls, pie-eating contests, and a lot of parades. Most kids would relish frequent outings to festivals and fairs, but apparently I grew tired of being dragged from town to town. Even though it was an era when the Girl Scouts and local celebrities riding in Model T cars or standing on floats would heave generous gobs of candy to the spectators, apparently I moaned one time, “Not another parade!” Ah, what a cross I had to bear!

All because my mother was a professional writer and editor; a committed, working journalist.

When she was a child, her dream never wavered: she wanted to write. Mom majored in journalism at university and worked for years at our metropolitan newspaper, The Indianapolis Star, as a writer, editor and columnist. Her work in the lifestyle department allowed her to meet and interview movie stars as they came through town for a show or event. I always enjoyed telling my friends, “My mom met the woman who plays Ethel on ‘I Love Lucy.'” Mom said Vivian Vance was gracious and charming—one of her favorite interviews. And one of the most challenging? Jack Palance.

But continuing to work full-time at the Star became a challenge when my brother was born. When I came along four years later, Mom adjusted her writing life to accommodate motherhood … to accommodate me.

She gave up her work at the Star to take that position at the county newspaper in order to be available to her children; she gave up being the journalist she wanted to be, in order to be the mom she wanted to be. She could have been interviewing movie stars. Instead, Mom stood all day on Mondays, scrambling to get the paper ready, making editorial decisions about which photo of the county fair queen should make the front page, trimming school lunch schedules with scissors and pasting down stories of council meetings and road construction. But because Mom didn’t drive downtown to Indianapolis—because she was willing to work hard at a less prestigious job that was flexible and kept her close by—she was there to cheer me on at softball games and track meets. She could see my plays and band concerts.

She was around for school award ceremonies where I received some minor recognition—nothing newsworthy that would draw a reporter, but Mom would come … as a mom.

And I didn’t appreciate her sacrifice one bit when I was young.

When I was little, I woke up early to watch morning kids’ shows, which would have been limited to Captain Kangaroo, Sesame Street, and a few cartoons. Mom says one morning I slipped into her bedroom in my jammies and asked, “Mommy, can you watch car-coons with me?”

Touched that I requested her presence, she dragged herself out of bed, pulled on a robe, shuffled into the living room, and eased herself onto the green vinyl chair as I snuggled down on her lap.

After a few minutes, I chirped, “That’s good, Mommy. You can go back to bed. The chair’s all warmed up now.”

For a lot of women, it takes becoming a mother to appreciate their mothers. It takes a humbling vinyl chair moment to realize everything our moms put up with.

For me, I think that the tension and pull between motherhood and writing has opened my eyes to my mom’s sacrifices. Mom sought to balance work and motherhood, respecting and honoring both.

Now I’m attempting the same thing.

I’ve grown to appreciate the challenges she faced to make her life work. Mom knows all about “imperfect conditions.” I think I finally feel the pang of those compromises she made, of her grief at the loss of a position that really fit who she was as a writer in order to choose a life that allowed her to be there.

For me.

And my writer-mom has celebrated the life I’ve chosen, as well; also the life of a writer-mom, seeking a both/and instead of an either/or life.

Thanks for modeling how to write in the midst of motherhood, Mom. Thanks for being there.

Thanks for supporting and celebrating my work while carrying on your own. And thanks for loving my biological babies … and appreciating my word-babies.

Happy (early) Mother’s Day!

Visit HighCallingBlogs today for an early Mother’s Day celebration, where you can read a collection of mom-themed vignettes and poems.

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If I waited for the perfect conditions to develop my writing life, I’d still be waiting.

Back in the early 1990s, I did manage to explore writing as my work, as a way of life. I wrote and submitted a few magazine articles and met with businesses to launch a career in corporate freelance writing. Then we started our family. Our first three children were born within four years of each other (the fourth came along a few years later).

Consumed by the demands and intensity of young motherhood, I could have shoved my computer screen, pen and notebook into a closet for about twelve years and waited until the conditions were right. I could have waited until my oldest two girls were old enough to babysit the younger two. I could have waited until I had a little office or study or library or nook to call my own. I could have waited until I had long chunks of uninterrupted time.

Instead, I wrote.

I wrote when the kids were napping. I wrote late at night. I wrote in my head when I took them for a walk to the park and scribbled down my ideas when they were eating a snack.

I stole time.

Sometimes I wrote well, but most of what I wrote served as compost, breaking down in my mind, heart, and spirit to feed new and potentially better ideas. Regardless of the quality of what I produced, I wrote. I practiced. I learned.

And I read. With a book tucked in my diaper bag or purse, I could steal a moment now and then to consume some new thought written by authors I respected, whose information I craved, whose ideas would feed the glowing coals of creativity that glimmered softly inside of me as I changed diapers, swept Cheerios and scraped hunks of banana from the high chair tray.

I kept the energy of writing alive during those hectic years, and when the flame flashed, I’d try to grab something on which to write, even if it meant borrowing a crayon and scribble pad that the kids were using for stick-people adventure stories.

This made for a spontaneous, messy writing life. Scraps of paper strewn on the kitchen table or nightstand represented that flash of insight I managed to scratch onto the back of an envelope. Life with newborns and toddlers required tremendous focus and energy, leaving little chance for a regular schedule. I grabbed opportunities when I could, leaving a trail of pens and paper throughout the house and shoved into cup holders in the car.

I identified with other writer-moms, such as Barbara Kingsolver. She would read about rituals of other authors who had seemingly endless time to create the writing mood—hours of photography or flower arranging before sitting at the desk to compose one word. She quoted one author who described his muse at length. Kingsolver, a busy mom with no time for flower-arranging, had to write with the time she was given. She described her own muse:

My muse wears a baseball cap, backward. The minute my daughter is on the school bus, he saunters up behind me with a bat slung over his shoulder and says oh so directly, “Okay, author lady, you’ve got six hours till that bus rolls back up the drive. You can sit down and write, now, or you can think about looking for a day job.” (p. 96, High Tide in Tucson, Barbara Kingsolver)

Kingsolver understands the limitations of motherhood and the challenge of writing in the midst of it. She quotes Lucille Clifton responding to the question “Why are your poems always short?” Ms. Clifton replied, “I have six children, and a memory that can hold about twenty lines until the end of the day.”

Clifton encouraged me to plan out my work mentally while I’m on-the-go, storing up thoughts until the end of the day, when the kids were in bed and the words could spill out.

My kids are much older now; my conditions remain imperfect but are much more conducive to writing. My children are more independent—my oldest has her driver’s permit. But it seems I still have to steal time.

Apparently the conditions for writing will never be perfect.

I need to be reminded of this again and again. Julia Cameron, in The Right to Write says:

The ‘if-I-had-time’ lie is a convenient way to ignore the fact that novels require being written and that writing happens a sentence at a time. Sentences can happen in a moment. Enough stolen moments, enough stolen sentences, and a novel is born–without the luxury of time…

Yes, it is daunting to think of finding time to write an entire novel, but it is not so daunting to think of finding time to write a paragraph, even a sentence. And paragraphs, made of sentences, are what novels are really made of. (p. 14, 15, The Right to Write, Julia Cameron)

This reminds me of a quote I heard at the Festival of Faith & Writing in 2010. Author Parker Palmer said:

If you can’t write a book, write a bunch of essays. If you can’t write a bunch of essays, write a bunch of paragraphs. If you can’t write a bunch of paragraphs, write lines. If you can’t write lines, write some words. And if you can’t write some words, write your truth with your own life, which is far more important than any book. (Parker Palmer at the Festival of Faith & Writing 2010)

Poets, bloggers, novelists, creative nonfiction writers, essayists, letter writers, journalists, composers; we must all get to work. Write a book, essays, paragraphs, lines, or just write a few words, but for heaven’s sake—be sure to write with your life.

No matter what complicates schedules—whether you have a full-time job or you’re a full-time caregiver—write what you can, when you can. Because the conditions are never perfect. 

___________________________________

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At HighCallingBlogs.com today, Bradley J. Moore of Shrinking the Camel explores the question, “When is Negative Feedback Too Negative?” He spotlighted my post “Reward the Good and Ignore the Bad: Does it Work?”

We know that unhealthy criticism for no good reason can demoralize. But how do you point out negative behaviors if you want to develop people, to help them reach their full potential?

I’ve been thinking about this topic quite a bit, and his post generated some additional thoughts that I tapped out as a comment and offer here as food for thought:

On the receiving end of critique:

Many years ago, I attended a small group training session. The leader said that one of the critical steps in gaining valuable input from people in the group was to take them out one-on-one and ask each person, “How can I improve as a leader?” Then he said it’s critical to listen without saying one defensive or explanatory word. Just listen and take notes. The person may say something small at first, to test how you’ll respond. Write down the answer, thank them, and ask, “What else?” Little by little you can get great input for how to improve and build trust with the person in your group, demonstrating that you really care about his or her opinion.

I’ve done this with my kids as well as teams I’ve led (usually volunteers in a church setting). When the person offering input sees that you aren’t going to get angry or fall apart, he can feel free to offer invaluable (if painful) information. And because I invited it, it’s easier for me to take to heart. But it’s hard to hear what I’m doing poorly, as a parent or team leader. And it’s really, really hard not to explain or defend myself; but when I refrain from that and just listen, I can consider the critique and figure out if/how to change. My kids have been grateful to have me ask and know that I’m really listening when they offer some of their concerns.

When giving input/critique:

My eldest daughter has her driver’s permit, and I’ve been thinking about and practicing the positive feedback approach with her. Sometimes, however, for safety reasons I simply have to correct and stop a dangerous move; sometimes I simply cannot “ignore the bad.” But I am making a point to identify things she’s doing well, “rewarding the good” by pointing it out with a compliment.

• Check Tone & Motive: When I have to give some negative input–not just when out driving with my daughter, but with anyone–I’m trying to check my tone and my motive, too. I also try to add some explanation as to why the change would be beneficial. And I try to follow up when I see the person change and affirm them.
• In the Context of Trust, Respect & Love: The clicker training mentioned in my original post could be very superficial and only focus on behavior–it may work well for step-by-step training but not for subtle analysis. (Leslie Leyland Fields expresses her concern with actual programs that promote a clicker-training approach to parenting in her post “Training is Not Enough!!“) With my family and friends, I want to be building relationships and reaching their hearts. I want any input to be in the context of trust, respect and love.
• Praise Sandwich/One-Minute Praise: Erin of Together for Good added this:

Not only am I grateful for Erin’s reminder that God roots out the bad–the sin–and that the good in us is a result of His Spirit’s work and strength, but I also really like her idea of “praise sandwiches.” Kenneth Blanchard’s One-Minute Manager advocates “one-minute praise” as immediate and specific as possible. I should note that he also does advocate immediate and specific “one-minute reprimands” followed with a reassuring handshake that affirms the person is valuable to the organization. Blanchard’s three-step “One-Minute Praise” and four-step “One-Minute Reprimand” processes are summarized HERE.

Any human, young or old, can better hear what needs improvement when it’s sandwiched between or at least followed up with what he or she is doing right.

An Atmosphere of Affirmation

I grew up with a lot of negativity, where nothing I did, not even sweeping grass off the porch, could be done to the satisfaction of one of my parents. I longed to hear something good reinforced, but most of the input I received was criticism. As a result, I developed a skewed image of myself. Developing my identity in that atmosphere of negativity, I couldn’t come close to reaching my full potential; I was plagued with self-doubt and insecurity.

Now, as a mom, I think I’m extra tuned-in to this topic because I really want to figure out what works and how I can offer input that is both loving and beneficial. I want my children to flourish in an environment that is predominately positive. And when I must correct, I want them to hear the truth spoken … in love.

I agree with Erin that none of us is innately “good,” that we are lost without our Savior, and that we must watch out for pride. But I also know firsthand the crippling effects of criticism and negativity.

When I do point out a fault in my kids or offer some criticism or correction, I want to follow up with a hug—the family version of Blanchard’s handshake—so that each child knows he or she is loved no matter what. And as I mentioned above, I want to be open to their own critique of me. If I model gentle, loving correction, perhaps they’ll go easy on me when I ask how they feel I could improve as a parent!

If I’m going to err in a direction, I want it to be in the direction of affirmation and praise.

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In A Circle of Quiet, Madeleine L’Engle wrote:

During the long drag of years before our youngest child went to school, my love for my family and my need to write were in acute conflict. The problem was really that I put two things first. My husband and children came first. So did my writing. Bump.

The conflict—or collision—of work and family summed up in a word:  Bump.Ouch.

• How do you handle the collision of work and family?

• How have demanding seasons of work affected your family life?

• Is your current pace “sustainable”?

• What changes have you already made—or what changes could you make—to create a more sustainable life? Have you “trimmed your day,” for example, and simplified?

“Remember, there is no Bump” photo by Ethan Lofton available through Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

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“Snow Jog” photo by Ann Kroeker © 2007

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Not long ago I wrote about Destructive Criticism vs. Healthy Critique when working with writers. The post generated a variety of responses as the conversation continued in the comments.

Shepherdsgrace, for example, had a terrific experience in a writing workshop that included input from the professor and classmates. She explained:

when I was in college I had the audacity, I was a chemistry major through and through, to take a creative writing class…and although an instructor was a fellow student and they all “lived” writing, reading…and were steeped in all things literature…they were very welcoming and friendly to me…I think it was because I was from “outside” their hallowed building, just a curious interloper…they were helpful and gentle at the same time…a little healthy criticism that isn’t couched in petty meanness and caustic barbs will go very far with me…that was one of the funnest classes I ever took…ever…for curious minds, it was a short fiction writing course.

Joyce’s writing workshop experience, however, was quite different from that of shepherdsgrace:

Several years ago I took a university course in creative writing. How I wish that the professor had understood the difference between [Destructive Criticism] and [Healthy Critique]. Not only was he merciless in his comments—written, of course, in red ink on our papers—but he encouraged the class to “critique” each other’s work in the same vein. One student obviously enjoyed this activity and was permitted by the instructor to savage his classmates’ efforts. As a result, many students dropped the class. I continued to the end, but didn’t write another thing for over a year until I had gotten over the experience and realized that the opinions of mean-spirited people really shouldn’t count. That professor has been invited to be the keynote speaker at the awards ceremony for a poetry competition I entered recently. I don’t think I will attend.

LL Barkat described her positive approach when working with writers and other creative types (emphasis mine):

Okay, honestly I don’t believe in critique. I believe in saying what works. Again and again and again. This gets tricky if I’m editing a piece, but even then I want to communicate the idea… hey, if I pulled something out it was only to make sure the good stuff shined the way I knew it could if it was left to itself.

Finally, I’d like to highlight what Gretchen wrote after exploring this topic with others. I’m so grateful she took time to share her findings (I’ve taken the liberty of emphasizing some statements):

I have discussed your post over the last several weeks with colleagues, co-workers, family, and friends.  Many points for discussion—including the definition of criticism vs. critique, sensitivity of an aspect of our lives to the perception of others, and the value of what we hold to be dear.There has been varying degrees of agreement and disagreement with the interpretation of criticism as outlined in your reference of Scribes Alley but all generally agreed that it is how one conveys the tone and character of that analysis which is important and what profoundly affects that memorable experience.I think that it can be argued in evaluating  the merit of a piece or performance, one should not omit the deficits as it can lead to continued weakness with lack of correction concluding with underperformance or the loss of potential of what could be.  In an effort to be “kind” it is really doing no favors.What is true is that no one person wants the “mean girls” to come “knock’n” on your doors of creativity or the things we hold dear.As for the comment that was essentially tasteless ridicule (and lacking in substantial value), I say kick it to the curb and leave it there as I suspect you already have.

Yes, Gretchen, I have indeed kicked to the curb that comment about my poetry—and I appreciate the time you took to explore this topic thoroughly.

All of the comments gave me much to consider, especially as I evaluate the papers of enthusiastic students who are emerging or developing writers. It’s tempting to focus on the mistakes—on what needs to be fixed—and ignore what’s working. I want to applaud what students are doing well so that they can recognize the places where they expressed themselves effectively; yet, I also want to mark errors in hopes of training students to develop good writing habits early on in the same way a piano teacher might correct posture or hand positions.

As Gretchen said, if I omit deficits, students may take much longer to reach their potential. That said, I have been curious to attempt an all-positive approach; or, as LL Barkat described it, “saying what works. Again and again and again.”

Back in 2006 I read an article in The New York Times called “What Shamu Taught Me About Marriage,” by Amy Sutherland. Tired of nagging her husband to change minor habits such as habitually misplacing his keys or leaving used tissues in his wake, Sutherland switched to positive reinforcement. The idea came to her while researching exotic animal trainers and how they could get “hyenas to pirouette on command, cougars to offer their paws for a nail clipping, and baboons to skateboard.” Sutherland wrote:

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don’t. After all, you don’t get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

She began to thank her husband when he placed just one dirty shirt in the hamper. Meanwhile, she would step over soiled clothes that remained on the floor without saying a word about it—thus rewarding desired behavior and ignoring the rest. As he basked in her gratitude, the piles of soiled clothes shrank. Success came from pointing out what worked and ignoring what didn’t.

Sutherland did, by the way, confess her techniques to her husband. He was not only amused; he learned how they worked and tried them out on her, as well.

Another place I’ve seen the rewards-only technique is online with “TAGteach,” where clickers (yes, the same clickers used by dolphin and dog trainers) are used for training people to learn new skills. In the following video, kids learn basic high jump techniques:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH63lywm_Sc]

The TAGteach blog explains a few key points:

Note the self assessment and absence of frustration when they miss the tag point. This video shows rapid learning of a complex skill without ever pointing out mistakes. It also provides a good example of backchaining… starting with the last part of the skill and gradually adding pieces to move toward the completed skill.

The positive is reinforced with a reward—a “Click”—while the undesirable is ignored. Here’s another example in which a young boy learns to tie shoes from a teacher who uses only positive reinforcement (and a clicker…and apparently a few beans).

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlA8lK1_lII]

What do you think?

Could this work with writers, focusing on one skill at a time and rewarding them with the equivalent of a “click” when I spot it effectively woven into their assignment? Perhaps writing a simple “Yes!” next to the skill performed well (attempting simile or alliteration, for example), while ignoring all other problems?

It must require tremendous restraint. But what a great atmosphere the positive approach could create. As people discover what works, they can duplicate results, perfect that skill and move to the next level.

It builds confidence that’s based on substance. Positive reinforcement recently worked with me. I wish I could say it was in the area of professional development, but the reality is that it’s a bit more vain. This week I wore a new (well, new-to-me) striped blouse with a vest and nice-fitting jeans. I’m never confident putting together outfits, and my friends were seeing this combination on me for the first time. I worried a little. Did it work? Or did I look like a Goodwill goofball? Two people went out of their way to tell me, “You look cute!”

“Click.”

“Click.”

Guess what I’m wearing today?

Please leave a comment if you’ve applied an all-positive technique to a unique area (such as writing or skill-building with humans), rewarding the good behavior and ignoring the bad—I’m curious to hear real-life stories and results.

Flickr photo “Writing” by Jonathan Kim. Available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license.

Flickr photo “little boy thumbs up” by Michele Truex. Available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license.

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Photo © 2010 by Zoe Sandvig of A Sideways Glance. Used with permission.

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Mega Memory Month January 2010

Final Celebration

Mega Memory Month comes to a close.

The last day of the month, January 31st, falls on a Sunday. I love that. Those of us who have memorized Scripture can post our passages and share them on a day of rest and worship.

Let’s share our projects, our progress, our successes!

Link up your posts via Mr. Linky or create something to publish on the Facebook Event page for Mega Memory Month, which you can access (write your comments on the wall!) HERE.

Mega Memory Month Participants(visit! encourage! be inspired!)

Ann’s Mega Memory Month Project:Colossians 1My original goal was to memorize all of Colossians 1, but I couldn’t finish. So I focused on what I could manage—verses 1-18.My final celebration isn’t fancy. I’m simply going to type it out from memory. I wish it were error-free, but I’m not quite there (I proofed my from-memory version against the original NIV text, adding missing words in red and crossing out words that shouldn’t be there):

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,To the holy and faithful brothers in Christ at Colosse:Grace and peace to you from God our Father.We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints–the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel has been is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has already been doing among you since the day you first heard it and understood God’s grace in all its truth. You heard it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a fellow ministry of Christ on our behalf, and who also told us of your love in the Spirit.For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking the Lord God to fill you with the knowledge of his will with through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you might may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. In For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. And He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.

Part of me wonders, Is this worth celebrating? Look, it’s only a little over half what I said I’d tackle, and it’s full of errors!Yet, if it weren’t for Mega Memory Month, I might not have bothered with it at all. So I think it is worth it, and I hope you think so, too.Thank you for joining me in the challenge. Thank you for holding me accountable. Thank you for committing to something mega.In the paraphrased words of Paul from his letter to the Colossians, I hope that this project helped you grow in the knowledge of God; that He strengthened you with all power according to His glorious might. I hope you developed great endurance and patience through it.May we now, at the conclusion of this month, joyfully give thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.In everything, Jesus Christ has the supremacy. Amen.

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Photo by HCB-network member nAncY of Just Say the Word.

“Hammers on Black.” Just Say the Word. 7 January 2010. Web. 27 Jan. 2010. <http://justsaytheword.wordpress.com/2010/01/07/1929/>.

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Final Progress Report (#4)This coming Sunday marks the end of Mega Memory Month January 2010.Now don’t panic. Don’t scramble to cram in whatever is left.This week, I urge you to simply stay focused and work steadily each day to add what you can and review what you’ve already managed to memorize. Take some time to relax and plan out your Final Celebration. Remember that? I encourage participants to come up with a final project to commemorate and celebrate this month-long memorization journey. You can recite your passage or project and upload the audio file, create a YouTube video of your recitation, type it up, write it out in calligraphy, or create artwork to accompany the words. It’s up to you.We’ll celebrate with you, no matter how close or far you came to achieving your MMM goal!For this week’s Progress Report, leave a note on your progress at the Facebook Event page I set up for Mega Memory Month (write your comments on the wall!) HERE. You can also summarize your progress in the comments of this post and/or link your own Progress Report post here via Mr. Linky.

Mr. Linky instructions:Click on the icon and a separate screen pops up. In one box, you type in your name and/or website; in the other box, paste in the url to your post. It’ll be saved and accessible by returning to this page and clicking on the icon again.I’ll return later in the day and embed the pop-up links into the text itself here for easy access.

Ann’s ProgressI’m getting to know Max McLean’s voice pretty well these days. I could hear his voice in my head when I was mentally reviewing Colossians 1: 1-23 on Sunday afternoon.I don’t even have verses 1 to 21 solid, however, let alone the entire chapter (which goes to verse 29). So this week, I intend to focus in on Colossians 1:17-23 in particular while reviewing the preceding verses, and that may be where I have to stop. I don’t think I can get the rest in a week.And I’m okay with that.Because I can get the rest eventually—verse by verse, week after week—even after MMM Jan 2010 comes to a close.This passage from Colossians 1 is what I’d like to leave you with today, not so much as practice or to report on my progress, but to encourage everyone involved…know that I’m:

asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience…

May the Lord strengthen you during this final week with all power according to his glorious might…that you may have great endurance and patience. Amen.For your convenience, I decided to keep these memorization resources right at your fingertips each week:• Click HERE to read “An Approach to Extended Memorization” by Dr. Andrew Davis, an article highly recommended by Amy at Lavender Sparkles.• Click HERE for my mega collection of memorization tips and techniques.• Click HERE for more inspiration and practical suggestions for memorizing Scripture from Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience.

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Progress Report #3Mega Memory Month January 2010 is over halfway through. Are you halfway through your project?Leave a note on your progress at the Facebook Event page I set up for Mega Memory Month (write your comments on the wall!) HERE. You can also summarize your progress in the comments of this post and/or link your own Progress Report post here via Mr. Linky.

Mr. Linky instructions:Click on the icon and a separate screen pops up. In one box, you type in your name and/or website; in the other box, paste in the url to your post. It’ll be saved and accessible by returning to this page and clicking on the icon again.I’ll return later in the day and embed the pop-up links into the text itself here for easy access.

Ann’s ProgressI’m behind. Dreadfully behind.The idea was to work on one verse per day. This would work if I’d keep up. But I haven’t.What’s motivating, though, is that as I catch up, I’ll be working on a powerful section that describes Jesus as “the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.” I especially want to know this part by heart.This section reminds me that “by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together” (verses 16-17).All things were created by Him and for Him.He is before all things.In Him, all things hold together.That’s big.I want to have those words inside of my head, inside my heart…So, to try to catch up, I decided to pull out every memorization tip and technique. For example, I realized I pick up things well through listening, so I decided to hunt down an audio recording of Colossians 1 (NIV). I found it. Who wouldn’t want to hear Colossians 1 read to them by Max McLean (complete with a smooth British accent)? To listen, click HERE. And thanks, Bible Gateway.Search for an audio recording of your own passage and translation at Bible Gateway HERE. (They offer Contemporary English Version, ESV, NIV, Today’s NIV, NASB and KJV).

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together (Colossians 1:17)

Lord, hold these words together in my head.

For your convenience, I decided to keep these memorization resources right at your fingertips each week:• Click HERE to read “An Approach to Extended Memorization” by Dr. Andrew Davis, an article highly recommended by Amy at Lavender Sparkles.• Click HERE for my mega collection of memorization tips and techniques.• Click HERE for more inspiration and practical suggestions for memorizing Scripture from Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience.

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Progress Report #2Mega Memory Month January 2010 is in full swing.How are you doing?Care to share your memorization methods or unload your ups and downs with those of us who are sharing the struggle?We’re in this together, so please let us know!Leave a note in the comments and/or link your own Progress Report post here via Mr. Linky.Click on the icon and a separate screen pops up. In one box, you type in your name and/or website; in the other box, paste in the url to your post. It’ll be saved and accessible by returning to this page and clicking on the icon again.I’ll return later in the day and embed the pop-up links into the text itself here for easy access.

MMM Participant Reports:

In addition, you can post on the wall of the Mega Memory Month Facebook event page.If you’re just finding out about Mega Memory Month, jump in—there’s still time to dig in to something big!Click HERE for the MMM Headquarters.Ann’s ProgressI owe my progress in Colossians this week in part to technology.My plan has been to add a verse each day. One night when I was nestled in my bed, warm and cozy, I was ready to learn the new verse but didn’t have my Bible on hand.I did, however, have my laptop nearby. So I logged onto Bible Gateway. After all, the words are exactly the same whether they’re printed on the physical page of my NIV study Bible or on the virtual page of Bible Gateway (many more translations are available at the site).All this week, I’ve been repeating the verses, adding a few hand motions to emphasize key words. And just two days ago, to reinforce what I’ve been working on, I added the first-letter prompt method explained in THIS website article.After pasting my text into the converter, I printed out the automatically generated prompts:As you can see, I fold this paper up and carry it with me. When I need to review, these letters prompt me when I’m stuck and nobody’s around to help.One time I was at a coffee shop. I remembered to stick my prompt sheet in my bag, but I didn’t have my Bible with me to remind me of the actual words.So I used my new phone—we added the data plan for one month as an experiment, so my new free phone is, at least temporarily, more than a phone! What do you think of that, Lisa? Yes, thanks to mobile Internet access, I logged onto Bible Gateway again and brought up my passage, which showed up in teeny-tiny font and presented as a long, slender column.It worked just fine, clarifying a section I couldn’t recall.I’m still a little shaky on the most recent two verses, but I’m making progress. I don’t know if I’ll make it all the way through the chapter, but I’m not worrying about that right now. For now, it’s just verse by verse.And I don’t suppose it matters too much whether we review our verses/poems/speeches as handwritten words on card stock taped to our car dashboards, or as pages on a website.Either way, they’re going into our minds.And, hopefully, our hearts.Also, if you need ideas or inspiration, here are some resources right at your fingertips—you, too, can use technology to aid your memorization efforts! • Click HERE to read “An Approach to Extended Memorization” by Dr. Andrew Davis, an article highly recommended by Amy at Lavender Sparkles.• Click HERE for my mega collection of memorization tips and techniques.• Click HERE for more inspiration and practical suggestions for memorizing Scripture from Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience.

It’s easy to subscribe to annkroeker.com updates via email RSS feed.Visit NotSoFastBook.comto learn more about Ann’s new book.

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LL: I remember meeting you at the Calvin festival. I was walking through the breezeway, and from a distance, I saw this cool looking person peering at me inquisitively. It was you! We officially met moments later, then spent a lunchtime together chatting forever. Remember?Ann: How could I forget how gracious you were after I practically stalked you! I knew you through blogging communities and writing networks online, but we’d never officially interacted. So when I saw your book, Stone Crossings, for sale at the InterVarsity Press table at the Calvin festival, I asked the staff if you were attending. They said you were, and I thought, “Hey, here’s a chance to meet that smart LL Barkat.” Yes, I really thought that, because I admired your clever, intelligent comments and your beautiful yet accessible poetry.I asked what you looked like, since I’d never seen a photo of you. They described you, so I spent the rest of the day looking for someone who fit that description. When I spotted you down that breezeway, you looked like a promising candidate. I was staring at you, waiting until you got close enough so that I could read your name tag. You must have been thinking, “Am I about to be accosted?”Instead of running or calling security, you were poised and gracious; and when I explained myself, you invited me to join you for lunch! We packed a lot into that lunch break. I think we talked about books we were reading, books we were writing, publishing, agents, bloggers and blogging. And shoes. We discussed our shoes…

Speaking of shoes, here they are:

I’d love to share this interview with you in its entirety. Would you mind popping over to L.L.’s Green Inventions blog to read it?

Click HERE.

Photo of L.L. Barkat’s and my shoes by L.L. Barkat. Used with permission.

Mega Memory Month January 2010 has returned!

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Progress Report #1We’re only four days into Mega Memory Month January 2010, so progress will be minimal. Still, you may have something to say about it.If so, leave a note in the comments and/or link your own Progress Report post here via MckLinky. I’ll come back later in the day and embed the pop-up links into the text itself for easy access.

Powered by MckLinky

Click here to enter your link and view the entire list of entered links…

1. Erin at filling my patch of sky
2. Amy @ Lavender *Sparkles*
3. Stand and Consider

Ann’s Progress Report:Colossians 1 has 29 verses.January has 31 days.That equates to about one verse per day. If I stay on track, I’ll get two extra days to review the whole thing at the end of the month; if I get behind, I have a couple of make-up days for the verses I’m lacking.Perfect.I’m starting out with Dr. Andrew Davis’s method as recommended by Amy at Lavender *Sparkles* (Amy summarizes the method in this post.)• Click HERE to read “An Approach to Extended Memorization” by Dr. Andrew Davis, an article highly recommended by Amy at Lavender Sparkles.• Click HERE for my mega collection of memorization tips and techniques.• Click HERE for more inspiration and practical suggestions for memorizing Scripture from Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience.

It’s easy to subscribe to annkroeker.com updates via email RSS feed.Visit NotSoFastBook.comto learn more about Ann’s new book.

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For Mega Memory Month January 2010, I’ll be working on Colossians 1.The thought is (I admit this may be a bit idealistic—even unrealistic—nevertheless…) that I might add on to this chapter over time; that is, for future Mega Memory Months I could continue with Colossians 2, 3 and 4.For now, I’m going to focus on Colossians 1 without fretting about the rest. Colossians 1 has 29 verses, so that’s approximately one verse per day. Now, I know that’s a lot for my feeble mind to tackle, but surely it can be done.After all, “all things were created by him and for him” (Colossians 1:16). My mind, including its aging synapses, was created by Him and for Him. To use it for this purpose—to concentrate on memorizing a chunk of God’s written Word—seems right and good. There will be much to ponder and celebrate along the way. For example, this passage includes a long prayer, so that my memory work can take on dual purpose and meaning, breathing life into my own prayers:

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossians 1:9-14)

Toward the end of the month, if I make it through the entire chapter, I’ll arrive at this verse:To [the saints] God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).

Christ in you.

I’ll cling to that this month, as I struggle through the paragraphs and stumble over phrases. It’s not just about the words in me … it’s about The Word in me.Christ in me.Now that right there puts the “mega” in this month.

Dove ornament photo © 2009 by Ann Kroeker.

To participate in Mega Memory Month, visit its Headquarters post HERE.

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It’s back!  Just in time to support your New Year’s Resolutions!

Mega Memory Month (MMM): January 2010 Headquarters

It’s day one of Mega Memory Month! Those of us participating now have 31 days to pack into our minds whatever it is we’ve selected to memorize: a poem, speech, passage of Scripture, or song lyrics.Here’s how to participate:

• Pick something to memorize. Challenge yourself with poetry, a famous speech, or a passage of Scripture. This month my focus will be on portions of the Bible.
• Announce it on your blog or in the comments of this post when you’re ready. (Note: If you find out about MMM late or forget about it until halfway through the month, no problem. Jump in and do what you can in the time that remains.)
• Leave a link (in MckLinky below or in the comments) that will take readers to your own blog’s MMM post. Help spread the word about Mega Memory Month (and share your progress) via Facebook, Twitter, etc.
• Include the MMM button to tie us together visually. It helps interested readers find and join the challenge!
• Start memorizing!

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Click HERE to enter your link and view the entire list of entered links…

1. Begin With Bread
2. Erin at filling my patch of sky
3. Amy @ Lavender *Sparkles*
4. Pursing the Kingdom
5. Lindas Patchwork Quilt
6. A New Year…A New Decade…New Beginnings
7. Ann Kroeker (Christ in you)
8. Zoanna @ A Penchant for Pens
9. Hiding Gods Word in My Heart
10. Leann at Good Neighbors
11. Power @ A Lettered Legacy
12. Amyazed by Him
13. Soli Deo Gloria
14. Adventures in Unsell Land

Monday Progress Reports (Jan. 4, 11, 18 and 25) will include an additional MckLinky for those who want to chronicle their progress. Feel free to include struggles, disappointments, surprises, memory tips, breakthroughs and victories.

• Progress Report #1
• Progress Report #2

Final Celebration scheduled for Sunday, January 31. For the Final Celebration, I encourage participants to plan some way to wrap up the month’s challenge. You can create a presentation as simple as writing or typing out from memory your passage. Or you could get more involved, creating artwork or a video or audio file to preserve and share your recitation with us.I’ll be right here with you all month.• Click HERE for suggestions on how to select a passage to memorize (courtesy of Helen at A Work of Heart).• Click HERE to read “An Approach to Extended Memorization” by Dr. Andrew Davis, an article highly recommended by Amy at Lavender Sparkles. • Click HERE for my mega collection of memorization tips and techniques.• Click HERE for more inspiration and practical suggestions for memorizing Scripture from Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience.Our minds (and hearts!) can hold more than we think they can.

Improving Your Memory for Dummies minibook photo © 2009 by Ann Kroeker.

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Mega Memory Month Returns January 2010!

Our extended family’s white elephant exchange included some bags stuffed full of odd items picked up at a dollar store, included this minibook:Can you believe it?Just in time for Mega Memory Month January 2010 I secured a copy of Improving Your Memory for Dummies, by John B. Arden, PhD, Director of Training for Psychology, Kaiser Permanente Medical Centers.Here’s an excerpt to get us thinking about memory work from the heading:

Feeding your brain properlyYour ability to remember depends on a number of factors, first of which is maintaining a healthy brain through adequate nourishment. To ensure that your brain works at an optimum level, follow these guidelines:

• Maintain a balanced diet. What you eat affects your brain’s chemistry. Eating the right foods at the right time gives your body the building blocks to manufacture brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters not only affect your mood and ability to think clearly, but also your ability to remember. A simple, balanced meal consists of a carbohydrate, a protein, and a fruit or vegetable. Eating a balanced meal three times a day can provide you with a sound foundation for your brain and its memory.
• Take the right supplements. Vitamins and herbs can support your brain’s ability to produce good memory skills. Specific vitamins, such as some of the B vitamins, help form the building blocks for healthy brain chemistry. Other vitamins, such as vitamin E, help your brain cleanse itself of bad chemicals. Herbs such as ginkgo, have been used to enhance the circulation of blood in the brain.
• Get regular exercise. Exercise enhances your memory because it helps your brain get the nutrients that it needs. Every time you exercise, you increase your respiratory rate, your metabolism, and your energy level.

Avoiding foods, drinks, and drugs that depress memoryFoods, drinks, and chemicals that your brain is exposed to have major effects on your memory.Warning: If you eat junk food loaded with sugar, you set yourself up to crash, finding yourself full of anxiety and short of short-term memory. Similarly, if you drink too much caffeine, the liquid anxiety scatters your thoughts and shatters your memory ability. If you consume caffeine and sugar on an empty stomach, your mood and memory skills will plummet quickly. (Arden 13-14)

In summary, it appears that as we work toward memorizing something meaningful … something mega, we can support (or avoid impeding) our efforts by eating a balanced diet, taking the right supplements (he didn’t provide much guidance on that topic), and exercising.Will you join me in January?Memorizing something is a mega-powerful way to start out the new year. You can work on almost anything and reap benefits—I’ve enjoyed including poetry in my Mega Memory Month selections during previous MMM challenges, for example—but this time my focus is exclusively Scripture. I want to exercise my mind and feed my soul; for me, memorizing a passage from the Bible is an important thing I can do to make truth readily accessible to ponder and pray.Here’s what I recommend as you prepare:

1. Pray about your selection.
2. Type up and print out the passage you plan to memorize (consider using card stock for durability as you tote it around with you for a month).
3. Devise a plan. Try to come up with an approach to memorizing that you can try out from the start. See the two links below for suggestions. (And according to Dr. Arden’s Dummies advice, be sure to eat right, take supplements and exercise your body!)
4. Join the challenge!

On January 1st, I’ll create a January 2010 Mega Memory Month carnival headquarters.For an entire month, we’ll all work on our passages together and report back each week on our progress (Mondays).At the end of the month, we’ll celebrate together whatever we managed to take in.You won’t be alone.I hope many will join the Mega Memory Month challenge in January, but you will have me along for the ride, at the very least.I’m not an expert at memorizing, but I’ll be working hard.And I’ll do my best to encourage you along the way.• Click HERE for my mega collection of memorization tips and techniques.• Visit Holy Experience for more inspiration and practical suggestions for memorizing Scripture.Our minds (and hearts!) can hold more than we think they can.

Work Cited: Arden, John B.  Improving Your Memory for Dummies. Indianapolis, IN: Wiley Publishing, Inc., 2009. Print.

Get ready … Mega Memory Month returns January 2010!

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Mega Memory Month Returns January 2010!

Imperfect but hopefully charming photos of a lifelong learner exploring the dictionary by Ann Kroeker © 2009

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“Nestled Apple” photo by Ann Kroeker (2009).

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Someone published the dialogue from that scene in an essay both here and here, so I pulled from that source to post it. The interaction originated from the film:

Adams: In the courtroom, whoever tells the best story, wins. What is their story, by the way?

Jodson: Sir?

Adams: What is their story?

Jodson:  They’re from West Africa.

Adams: No, what is their story?

(Jodson remains silent, looking puzzled.)

Adams: Mr. Jodson, where are you from originally?

Jodson: Georgia.

Adams: Is that who you are, a Georgian? Is that your story? No, you’re an ex-slave who’s devoted his life to the abolition of slavery and overcome great obstacles and hardships along the way, I should imagine. That’s your story, isn’t it?

(Jodson nods, slowly, with a slight smile.)

Adams: You have proven you know what they are. They’re Africans. Congratulations. What you don’t know—and as far as I can tell haven’t bothered in the least to discover—is who they are. (Cunningham 1151)

I can fairly easily answer the question What am I?

I’m a wife, mom, writer, coach.

But the more compelling question is Who am I … What’s my story?

And what’s next? What’s the next line of my story? The next scene? The next page? The next chapter?

As we try to discover the story that’s been written thus far, we have an opportunity to find themes in the unfolding of the years and purpose in the unfolding of our days.

When we get an idea of our story, we can understand better who we are—and who we want to be.

* * *

Works Cited:
Amistad. Dir. Steven Spielberg. Perf. Morgan Freeman, Nigel Hawthorne, Anthony Hopkins, Djimon Hounsou, Matthew McConaughey, David Paymer, Pete Postlethwaite, and Stellan Skarsgard. DreamWorks, 1997. DVD.
Cunningham, Clark D.  “But What Is Their Story?” Emory Law Journal. Vol . 52 Special Edition (2003): 1151. Web. 15 Nov. 2009. <http://law.gsu.edu/Communication/Emory.pdf>.

Image by: Ivan Prole. “Notebook with spiral and red cover.” 2009. stock.xchng. Web. 15 Nov. 2009.

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The Scarlet Letter was my first book to try to organize existing materials. While there are many outstanding resources, and a trained teacher with years of experience would have much more insight than I, here is what I pulled together:

• Study Guide: For accountability and to check comprehension, I try to find a study guide for each book that the students must fill out as they read. We only meet once a week, so if they can’t figure out what’s important to note in the assigned chapters, they could be lost for days before we clear it up in class discussion. I used this Glencoe study guide that I found online, picking and choosing the activities (they had to complete the questions, but I skipped or modified some of the activities).
• Skit: Based on some feedback I got via e-mail, I got the feeling the students didn’t understand what was happening in “The Custom House” and the first few chapters of the book, so I brought in a construction paper “A,” a fake flower, and a big piece of cardboard. I had the students act out the basics of “The Custom House,” having the Nathaniel Hawthorne/Narrator discover the “A” among the papers. Then we switched to the story itself and someone held the cardboard to be the prison door. Someone else held the flower to be the rose bush. And we talked about the symbolism after they acted it out. I ran around sort of giving instructions and offering a sketchy narration, walking them through the first few events. The book has quite a dramatic opening, but I think its impact and drama can get lost in the difficult vocabulary. For a few minutes, I wanted them to experience the story without sifting through the words.
• Pillory: I found a great photo of a pillory online so they could envision where Hester was standing for her public humiliation. A quick search should turn up examples.
• Journal: The students are required to keep a reading journal, one entry per school day (a minimum of five sentences per entry; yes, I’ve had to count). I check these to be sure they are tracking. They are asked to be responding to their reading in some way—I wanted them to have a safe place to talk freely about the books. I could probably do better at creating some vision for the journals. Some of them don’t seem to grasp the potential of recording their responses and struggle to fill an entry.
• Vocabulary: The study guide provided some vocabulary lists. I used those.
• Quizzes: Most of the quizzes were vocabulary quizzes, since there are so many challenging words in The Scarlet Letter. I had my dictionary next to me the entire time I was reading the book. I should probably try to design them SAT-style, but I haven’t yet; the quizzes have been straightforward, matching the definition to the word.
• Study Resources: I referenced SparkNotes to see what those guides had to say.
• Story Chart: I used a story chart for them to identify key events and people in the book.
• Test: I created the test by modifying the quizzes found at this page. I deleted some questions, changed some of the answers, and added more multiple choice along with some short answer. Some of the questions included the definition of “plot,” “theme,” and “conflict,” which we talked about in class. They also had to answer two short essay questions: (1) “How do guilt, sin and/or shame change Hester, Dimmesdale and Chillingworth?” and (2) “Which character in The Scarlet Letter felt the most alienation? Why do you feel this way?” They were expected to cite at least one passage from the book to support their point(s) as well as talk about plot points or turning points in their own words. They had access to their books for the short essay questions, but not for the multiple-choice/short answer portion.
• Essay Writing: To help the students learn the basics of character analysis, I referenced this and for comparison/contrast essays and sent them to this simple sample essay was annotated to show what worked well. And I really liked this mind map as a tool to help them organize their thoughts and ideas before writing their essay. I took some time one week to walk them through it, though I don’t know if they still reference it.
• Essay Format: To help them learn MLA format, I’ve sent them to the OWL at Purdue.
• Essay Grading: I’ve been using the 6+1 Traits rubric for grading the writing. I like this summary, because it gives me a quick reference while grading that I can also share with the kids, so they can see what I’m looking for.
• Final Project: For their final project, I pulled ideas from Cliff’s Notes. They could choose from the following:

Final Projects

1. Rewrite the forest scene using modern language. (No one chose this.)

2. Write a short story about how the story would be different if Chillingworth’s ship had actually wrecked and he’d never come ashore. (One student wrote a new ending, sort of combining choices 2 and 3, and the result was a charming and much, much happier conclusion for the main characters.)

3. Write a description of Pearl’s future after the novel ends. Does she marry? Have a family? What is her life like? Be sure your choices are consistent with what you know about Pearl and the events at the end of the novel. (One student chose to do this, creatively working in facts from the original story to present a fascinating and detailed summary of Pearl’s future.)

4. Draw a picture or create a collage that shows the relationships among the characters in the story and explain your thinking to the class verbally the week they are turned in and/or on paper. (Most chose this, and the results were outstanding; I couldn’t believe the quality of artwork and fascinating symbolism.)

Read the Book!

You should be able to pick up a copy of The Scarlet Letter at Goodwill and used bookstores, as it is so often assigned in both high school and college—and the students get rid of it when their course is completed. Multiple copies would also be available at the library, along with an abundance of study guides.But you can also read The Scarlet Letter online at many websites. Click around and pick your favorite background, font or navigation from the following sites:

• Page by Page Books
• The Literature Network (posts flashing, annoying ads at the top)
• The Literature Page
• Bartleby (searchable text)
• Project Gutenberg

Enjoy!

If you can use any of these ideas for personal study or with your own family to enrich your reading of this classic of American literature, let me know what you found useful.

Share!

If you find additional resources, I’d love to update and expand this post to include more ideas that deepened a reader’s comprehension and appreciation of The Scarlet Letter.

Stack of books photo by Ann Kroeker. Page from The Scarlet Letter by Ted Cabanes accessed from stock.xchng.

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Fathers form us.Our fathers may have launched us into adulthood healthy, strong and confident having poured into us words of truth, love and life and surrounded us with the safety of strength and sensitivity.Or perhaps our fathers left us emotionally shredded, grasping for something to staunch the wounds as we limped into the world to find our way.Even if a father leaves the family, his children are formed by the hole that remains and by the future father figures who may seek to fill that hole.Randy Carlson, in his 1992 book Father Memories, wrote, “Picture fathers all around the world carving their initials into their family trees. Like a carving in the trunk of an oak, as time passes the impressions fathers make on their children grow deeper and wider.”

That’s how I began a post over at HighCallingBlogs (HCB) today.Highlighting two writers in the HCB network, I was able to share stories of fathers and the impact they’ve made.If you have time, I invite you to pop over and leave a thought or two on fathers, the impact your father has had on your life, or even a small father-memory of your own.READ MORE…Speaking of parents, there’s a new post up at NotSoFastBook.com about the pressure of “Push Parenting.”

Vintage photo by Lynn Hopper.

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I don’t want to lose that skill, that gift.Or if I have temporarily lost it because I have instead trained my eye on the time or the speedometer or the packed pages of my daily planner, I want to regain it.In spite of having physical eyes that function quite well, I am sometimes guilty of missing a lot—so much that I might as well be blind. I want to see both physical beauty and that which is beyond it; I want a glimpse of deeper realities. Though I’m blessed to have my physical eyesight, I long for more.Wouldn’t it be something to have the privilege given to Elisha’s servant, when Elisha prayed “O LORD, open his eyes so he may see” the reality of hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around to fight on their side? (2 Kings)But even if I never see chariots of fire, I don’t want to squander my everyday sight. I don’t want to blunder through my days like a blind woman.On busy, blurry days, I can feel like the blind man whose story is told in Luke 18. He called out to Jesus, “have mercy on me!”Jesus came near and asked, “What do you want me to do for you?””Lord,” he answered, “I want to see.” Lord, have mercy on me … I want to see. Yes. I, too, want to see! I don’t want to miss the good stuff, the real stuff, the hard stuff, the beauty, the life, the needs, the truth. I want to see all that I need to see.Jesus granted the blind man his sight.I pray He’ll grant sight to these eyes, as well; I turn to Him that I might have eyes that see.And as I start to look around, I’ll start small.Pausing, I’ll give something my full attention.A butterfly.A seed pod.A metaphor.A turn of phrase in the last line of a poem.A friend on the phone.A sculpture.A blob of oil paint on canvas.A daughter walking hand-in-hand with me to the park.A sunflower bobbing over the fence.I don’t mean to simplify something subtle and spiritual by being overly practical, but when I launched a series at NotSoFastBook.com about how to practice “seeing,” I offered art as an entree.It’s a little lesson in seeing.Seeing is much more than learning to appreciate shadow, shape, and color on canvas.But it can slow us down and remind us that there is much more than meets the eye.

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(Photo Credit: stock.xchange.com)

This week, I’m told, is “Simplify Your Life Week.”We could talk about how to declutter, how to eliminate two or three things from our schedules, or how to streamline the laundry room.But I think simplifying my life in a way that profoundly impacts my daily experience must begin at a deeper level….Read the entire post over at NotSoFastBook.com.

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July 2009 is Mega Memory Month. Here we are at Progress Report #4.

(Progress Report #1)

(Progress Report #2)

(Progress Report #3)

How’s it going?

• Use Mr. Linky to connect your progress report to this master list. If I have time, I’ll swing back by and edit the post to make the links more prominent.

• Non-bloggers and those who don’t want to dedicate an entire post to memory work, feel free to offer your progress report in the comments.

Mega Memory Month Participants’ Progress Reports

1. Hopeannfaith

This is the last official Progress Report for July 2009 Mega Memory Month.There are just a few days left to finish the month. We have until Friday, July 31, and then … time’s up.So, how are you doing? Are you plugging away at your selections and getting some of it solidified?Maybe you’ve tried a variety of techniques, or perhaps you’ve stuck with a tried-and-true method. This week, as I wind things down for Mega Memory Month, I’ve simply been repeating the three main passages. They came together fairly well. My main problem section is toward the end of Psalm 121.Ann’s Progress ReportHere at family camp, I went over Philippians 2:1-11 while in a kayak, paddling slowly through the clear, cold water as the beauty of that passage flowed through my mind and out of my mouth for the benefit of a few gulls and perhaps a quiet camper who was sitting in a folding chair looking like he was enjoying solitude.I repeated Psalm 121 while hiking in the quiet, mossy woods, asking the Belgian Wonder and The Boy to listen. We walked holding hands. In front of us, a family friend was listening in. When I said, “He will not let your foot slip,” he fake-stumbled over a root.In that same woods, I reviewed Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken,” and when I came to a place on the hike where two roads diverged, I couldn’t resist snapping a photo.

(That’s not the entire poem, of course. I just stopped typing when I ran out of space.)After dinner, I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was working on memorizing “The Road Not Taken.” She started up immediately with “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…” and proceeded to recite the entire poem through perfectly. She already knew it.That’s what I want. I want these poems and passages of Scripture to be imbedded in me so deeply and become such a part of me that the words, ideas, thoughts, poetry, and truth can flow out effortlessly.Be sure to share your struggles, successes, and the tips and techniques that have most benefited your memory work this month.And if you feel motivated to share a final project, I encourage everyone participating to post something to commemorate their July 2009 Mega Memory Month project. We’ll do that on Friday, July 31.For your project, you could:

• Create a YouTube video of you reciting your memory work
• Type it out in the post itself
• Write it out and photograph the handwritten version
• Draw or paint something artistic to accompany the words
• Type it out 140 characters at a time on Twitter as a series of tweets
• Make a PowerPoint slide show and upload it somewhere on the Web.

I don’t know how to do all those things, but I think they can be done. Showcase your technological know-how as you showcase your memory work!(Mr. Linky may not allow me to have two different carnivals on one day, so I’ll have to give Food on Fridays that technology. We can leave links to people’s projects in the comments.)I hope you’re discovering that …Our minds can hold more than we think they can.

(much smaller alternative button)

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July 2009 MMM is almost overWatch for Final Mega Memory Month Projects on July 31

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