• One Year Bible online. You can choose the One Year Bible or the One Year Chronological Bible (left column). There’s a spot to select your preferred translation. Also on the left column, you can scroll down and click on the month. Then pick the date. It pulls up the readings for the day.
• Divine Hours online. At the link provided, you’re asked to select your time zone. Once you click on yours, the reading of that day and hour pops up. By the way, I can’t vouch for anything else on this site, and every once in a while there will be a poem or reading that makes me scratch my head. But the passages are powerful, simple words from Scripture. Those, along with hymns and biblically based prayers serve as “checkpoints” throughout the day–morning, noon, evening, and night.
• My Utmost for His Highest online. Each day’s reading pops up automatically, and archives are available on the left by clicking on whatever day you wish.
• Many more devotionals are available at One Place.com.
• Elisabeth Elliot’s are here.
• Other classics available at that same site include selections from Warren Wiersbe, Streams in the Desert, and Charles Spurgeon.
• UPDATED (from suggestions in comments): A.W. Tozer 1 and A.W. Tozer 2, and Daily Light on the Daily Path (providing a brief selection for both morning and evening)

I’m enjoying the practicality and convenience of both online and book versions of devotionals. Would that work for you? Are you an online devotional reader, or are you strictly a printed page person?For more WFMW ideas, hop over to Rocks In My Dryer.

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PUMPKIN PIE (STOKELY’S BACK-OF-CAN)1 can (16 oz) pumpkin1 can (12 oz) evaporated milk2 eggs, slightly beaten3/4 C brown sugar1 T flour1/2 t salt1/2 t ground cinnamon1/4 t ground ginger1/4 t ground nutmeg1/4 t ground cloves1 9-inch unbaked homemade pie crust.Preheat oven to 450. Blend all ingredients and pour into unbaked pie shell. Bake 20 mins.Reduce temperature to 350. Bake 35 minutes more or until knife inserted comes out clean. Cool completely on rack.

I cover the crust-edges with strips of aluminum foil formed into curves and balanced along the rim of the pie pan. They stay there almost the entire baking time. For the last 10-15 minutes I take off the foil and let the crust get a little brown. Otherwise it almost burns.Tip #4Visit Works For Me WednesdayVisit Works For Me Wednesday at Rocks In My Dryer for more last-minute Thanksgiving tips (and other useful solutions to life’s little problems).p.s. For those who saw my Thanksgiving Preview, I chose not to use the white tablecloth. Instead, I opted for two very long coordinating cloths on our two long tables. They’re golden. I thought you should know, as I felt sort of hypocritical folding up the white one and tucking it back into the storage cabinet. My mom assures me that we will, however, have pea salad; and for that, I’m truly grateful.

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These days I prefer using the happier term, thriftiness. For years, I’ve thought of myself as “cheap.” I love that I can now refer to myself as “thrifty.” It’s trendy, these days, to be thrifty. Plus, who can resist using a word that rhymes with “nifty”?

Well, speaking of nifty, my kids are trying hard to make-do when they see nifty stuff in stores that they want to buy. I encourage them to see if they can come up with a creative alternative first.

One of my daughters wanted a purple iPod case.

Next thing I know, she showed me this:

The color isn’t very true, but it’s purple all right. Made from an old soccer sock. She learned how to make pom-poms earlier this year and whipped one together to add a fun, coordinating touch.

I showed her some Etsy products that were priced in the teens that didn’t look much more nifty than her invention, and she was pleased.

So while I certainly don’t want to make light of our nation’s financial nightmare, I will say that our family is responding with more creativity and contentment than I thought possible.

We’re all feeling kind of nifty being thrifty.

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• Hair dryer
• Curling irons
• Hair brushes and combs
• Hair clips and elastics
• Scarves
• Deodorant
• Lotion
• Bottom row: clean cleaning cloths
• Top row: topical ointments and a few medications

It fits a lot of stuff, the pockets deep enough to keep it subtle, and the entire thing still looks kind of pretty with the Shabby Chic trim.Close the closet door, and it’s gone.It’s a removable medicine cabinet; a flexible and accessible storage unit.Discover what works for others (there’s a lot that works for lots of others) at Rocks In My Dryer.Also, consider jumping into Mega Memory Month (you can do it; it’s not too late!).

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While in Europe, I informally interviewed some relatives about differences between American and French (and Belgian) women. The conversation was intriguing, and we ended up generating clothing styles and eating habits that I can share with you here.

By incorporating these simple, practical ideas into our lives, we may end up feeling just a little more European:

• Shoes: French and Belgian women never wear athletic shoes unless they’re actually in a gym working out. For everyday wear, they might consider city-style sneakers designed with gold or darker colors, but not actual running or cross-training shoes like we do.
• Dress Up a Notch: By typical American standards, European women dress up even to run errands. The thought of dashing out in a pair of sweats to get something at the store would be unheard of. They won’t necessarily don their skirts and heels (though maybe in Paris), but they’ll probably have on decent slacks and dark shoes. This summer trip I was seeing everybody in vacation clothes rather than everyday clothes: they wore long shorts, capris, sandals and cute flip-flops.
• Simple Wardrobe: Although Belgian and French women tend to dress up more than their American counterparts, they don’t own an abundance of clothes. Instead, they have a few nice things, most of which will complement each other in some way, and make the most of what they have. This may be driven by the fact that their closet and storage space is generally more limited than what a typical American home would offer. Also, clothes are more expensive there than here. Or, perhaps they realize what we have yet to learn–that more is not always better.
• Basic Black: Not all, but a lot of French and Belgian women really do like black as a wardrobe staple. It might be the background color of a dress, or one article of clothing (the blouse, the pants) worn with something patterned, but black is a color to depend on. I wore a long grayish dress with a black shrug and black shiny flip-flops and received several comments from my French brother-in-law that I’d achieved a very French “look” with that outfit.
• The Scarf: Every time I travel to Europe, I’m struck by how often I see scarves on women. In cooler temperatures, they wrap pretty winter scarves around their necks and often leave the scarves on even if they take off their jackets. In spring and summer, they tie a stylish scarf around their necks employing a variety of creative twists and ties. I wrote about this in another post and linked to a site with knot-instructions. Here’s that scarf-tying link yet again.
• Perfume: My sister-in-law explained that French women always have a spritz of perfume on and like to comment on each other’s scents. “Oh, that’s a nice perfume–it smells tropical.” “Yes, it’s my summer scent.” I’m allergic to so many perfume scents that I gave up wearing it long ago. After talking with my sister-in-law, however, I’m tempted to go out and try to find something that doesn’t give me migraines, just so I can smile and say demurely, “Why, thank you…that hint of honeysuckle you picked up on is my summer scent, reminding me of my childhood growing up in the countryside.”
• Unfussy Hair: The hairstyles of French and Belgian women look sharp, but not fussy. One sister-in-law said, “Even for a nice event, they’ll just pull their hair back with a barrette, stick a few clips in and be done with it. It’s simple, but they always look great.”
• Matching Fancy “Under Things”: My brother-in-law wasn’t sure it would be appropriate to bring up, but he remarked that French women like to match their under garments with their clothes. How he knew this, I’m not entirely sure, unless he’s going with what his wife has reported. But talk about attention to detail–I’m told that French women talk freely with their female colleagues about their totally matching outfits. A red blouse simply must have matching red lace underneath.
• Guilt-Free Treats: A French woman feels free to treat herself to a nice pastry at breakfast or a chocolate dessert completely guilt-free. She exercises restraint in that she won’t wolf down a dozen donuts, but she doesn’t deprive herself from simple pleasures like a small chocolate mousse. She eats it while sitting down and without being hurried in the least.
• Daily Soup (Belgian): Belgians have soup every day for lunch. It’s a cultural habit. Healthy, too.
• Aperitif: At 6:30 p.m. in a French home, it’s time for l’aperitif, the French cocktail hour. Some alcohol is served with something as simple as peanuts or as involved as creatively prepared appetizer-style snacks. Someone might make martinis or other mixed drinks. When I mentioned that I’m not much of a mixed-drink person, the French relatives assured me that sodas and fruit juices are an appropriate option, as well.
• Le Gouter: French women don’t snack between meals, but most do enjoy le gouter, a snack taken between 4 and 6. This New York Times article does a nice job describing it to Americans. Le gouter is a good time for the French woman to enjoy her guilt-free chocolate croissant, some yogurt, fruit, or a biscuit (cookie).
• Yogurt & Cheese Course: The French enjoy a cheese course with their meals that may replace the dessert or be served just before the dessert. The French love their yogurt, too. Because French women don’t drink milk, this is a way to get some easier-to-digest calcium into their diet.
• Hostess Gift: When a French or Belgian is invited to someone’s house for dinner, it’s customary to take a cake, pie, box of chocolates or some nice flowers and a bottle of wine as a hostess gift. Whether or not it’s customary in the states, it sure sounds like a fun idea to me.
• Mushroom-hunting: My sister-in-law in France said she was amazed at what a big deal mushroom hunting is there. Women will head off in their high heels with bags in hand to aller aux champignons, to go in search of mushrooms. I’m a little fearful of incorporating this into my life simply to feel more European. I mean, I don’t know a deadly mushroom from a morel. I think this is one custom I’ll leave to the French women in their completely matching outfits and nice shoes.

So. There you go:  Ideas straight from the experience and observations of my Belgian/French relatives for how you, too, can incorporate small changes into your life to feel a little more European.

Everything but the matching undergarments and mushroom-hunting works for me.

The post 15 Everyday Ideas to Borrow from the French (and Belgians) appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

• A youthful Pat Robertson interviews Corrie in 1974 (interspersed with a few short clips from “The Hiding Place” movie). It’s so neat to see and hear her.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=038cuYe3Nis]

• A woman posted a very short video shot from inside the Hiding Place in Corrie’s house. You’ll feel like you yourself have climbed inside and lowered the secret door.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLnfRt03rkU&feature=related]

• This is a video slide-show someone uploaded with snapshots similar to mine. Complete with dramatic music and a bit of footage from the film as an intro. A little hokey, but it shows you the place.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8K6jxHjf04&feature=related]

• Photos from the museum are available to view on the Corrie Ten Boom official website (glare-free!).
• A short bio and excerpt of a Guideposts article available from PBS in a series “The Question of God.”
• Of course, I highly recommend reading Corrie’s book, The Hiding Place.
• Download actual messages/sermons delivered by Corrie ten Boom herself (in MP3 format) at this site. It’s very cool, and it’s free. I tried it.
• Lots of excerpts from Corrie’s writings here.
• Wikipedia has her bio and info (including a few more links).
• Haarlem website with a nice bio.
• Someday I need to buy a DVD of the film, “The Hiding Place.” The Belgian Wonder saw it when he was young and said it impacted him deeply. “It stays with you for life,” he said.

It worked well for me this week to find all of this, as I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. So my Works For Me Wednesday tip is that thanks to technology, I can dig deep into the Internet when I want to know more about something. And then I can share the wealth.Enjoy learning more about Corrie ten Boom.Return to Rocks In My Dryer by clicking here.Visit the archived Ann Kroeker WFMW tip-collection here.

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• Brown bag contains a mini hairbrush, hair clips and elastics;
• Blue bag holds first-aid items such as Claritin, Excedrin, band-aids and triple antibiotic cream;
• Blue bag with swirls holds, um, how shall we say it, “personal” items;
• Light blue with pastel colors holds makeup basics; 
• Cloth toile bag is the least precise, because it serves as a mini-purse. It can hold several frequently used items, like a nail file, small tissue pack, antibacterial gel, a stray band-aid or two in case I didn’t have the entire blue first-aid bag, chapstick, two business cards, and one emergency “personal” item.

I simply grabbed the bags I thought would be needed that day and toss them in my purse or daypack. The kids got to know which bag held the first-aid items and could run to the room and snatch it when needed.This containment system worked with my own logic (each person should lean on his or her own, as my own logic doesn’t always make sense to others) and kept things easily transferable from one bigger container, like a suitcase, to another, like a daypack.Of course I had a toiletries bag, as well; but it wouldn’t be tossed into a daypack or purse for use on the go.These small, makeup-sized bags are not a big investment: I found them all at Goodwill, each at 99 cents.Neither of these ideas is all that novel, but perhaps one will help minimize somebody’s minor travel woes.Change of Clothes in Carry-onEverybody knows to take a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a change of clothes (especially underwear) in a carry-on bag, right? This is so that if you arrive at your destination, but your bags don’t, you have options. This happened to us, and we were glad to have something to wear the next day.Empty Water BottleYou can’t take liquids on the plane, but you can take an empty plastic water bottle (be sure it’s totally empty). Fill it up on the other side of security and avoid the high-priced bottles offered at the airport gift shop (plus, feel good about recycling). We filled ours, dropped them in our red sports bag, and took them everywhere, as drinking fountains are extremely rare in Belgium and Holland. A very small bottle is handy, as it isn’t so heavy to tote around.Time Change and Jetlag: Don’t Look BackMy father-in-law, a world traveler, has always encouraged me to change my watch to the time zone of my final destination so as to start living it and adjusting to it. I used to say things like, “No wonder I’m tired–back home, it’s 2 in the morning,” and he would point out that by continuing to look back like that, I was keeping myself from enjoying the present and shifting faster through jetlag. Somewhere along the way, I started following his advice and have found it to be wise and accurate. I change my watch as soon as I’m on the last plane.Speaking of jetlag, we had the longest travel time ever on this trip–with three planes and some drive-time, we were awake for 24 hours when we got in last night.Thus, while not wanting to make excuses, those are the few tips that my weary brain can drag up at the moment.What kinds of travel solutions have you implemented?For more tips, check out Works For Me Wednesday at Rocks In My Dryer.

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Last week’s spaghetti night, however, was a “nibble” night.

I had a lot of leftover noodles.

We don’t mind leftovers for lunch or dinner, so heating up the noodles with sauce has been fine. I’ve made pasta salads with the leftovers, as well. But I was in the mood for something different.

Online I discovered something that’s a cross between a casserole, a frittata and a quiche that the author, Tea & Cookies, called a “Spaghetti Pancake” in her August 2007 post entitled, “What to Do with Leftover Spaghetti.”

What a great title. And what a flexible and tasty little dish!

I read the entire post (she’s a great writer) and enjoyed the photos. Then I read the comments—and there are many—with the suggested variations. I recommend you do the same if you have leftover spaghetti and want to try it. You’ll be inspired.

Here’s the basic recipe from Tea & Cookies followed by the way I doctored it up:

SPAGHETTI PANCAKE

Serves four

• 3 cups cooked spaghetti noodles
• 4 eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 tsp salt, or to taste
• black pepper to taste
• butter or oil for frying, at least 1 tsp
• Optional add-ins, as desired: chopped fresh herbs, diced tomatoes, proscuitto or bacon, cheese, small diced vegetables such as zucchini (dice very small so it will cook through), minced onion or garlic.

In a large bowl beat the eggs until smooth. Add the spaghetti noodles and mix until they are all coated. Mix in the salt and pepper and any add-ins you would like. Heat the oil or butter in a large frying pan: it should be well oiled. Pour the noodle mixture into the pan and allow to set on the bottom. Using a plastic spatula, run it around the side of the pancake, to prevent sticking to the pan. Peer under the bottom from time to time, until the pancake begins to brown. Turn over by sliding it onto a plate and putting the fry pan on top and flipping over. Cook until slightly brown on both sides and the center has firmed. Turn out onto a plate and cut into wedges.

Note: If you’d like to make a smaller pancake—or have a smaller amount of leftover noodles to use up—you can easily decrease the amounts here. You just want to make sure that all the noodles are coated and the mixture isn’t too soupy with beaten egg.

Ann’s Spaghetti Pancake Variation:

After following her basic recipe with the spaghetti, eggs, salt & pepper (and olive oil to cook), I added some garlic, fresh basil, and mozzarella cheese. That was really good.

Then I remembered some tiny bits of very tasty ham I had in the freezer. I heated them up in the microwave and put them on top of each bite, pretending I’d cooked it all together, and boy do I wish I had. That was scrumptious!

The final product, the so-called “Spaghetti Pancake,” was skillet-sized and -shaped, which we sliced like a pizza. I don’t know about the kids—they’re funny about garlic—but the one who tried it liked it. The others were doing something else for dinner.

As for me, I was delighted! This was so simple, flexible, fast, and filling!

Someone on her comments suggested a combination of cheese, ham, and peas, which sounds delicious to me. Or I could keep the basil and add prosciutto and fresh tomatoes. That sounds heavenly. I love the idea of tossing in different cheeses, spices and leftover bits of veggies and meats—using whatever’s on hand—to yield endless variations.

Again, the speed with which this comes together is extremely fast. I could whip this up for a friend coming over for lunch and offer a warm and satisfying meal.As a main dish, this would serve as a substantial lunch or a simple dinner, good with a salad.

It could be a side dish at dinner with extra vegetables from a summer garden, like sauteed onions, zucchini and yellow squash. Or it could be the multi-course “entree,” which is the first course (not the main dish), like a quiche often is. A slice of this with a sprig of basil on top of each—wouldn’t that look pretty?

.This is what it looked like on my table that night (before the ham bits):

The photo is rather uninspiring. It was too late to use anything but a flash for the photo. Be sure to visit the original site to see her shots—you’ll see better what it should turn out like.

Perhaps you’d like to see the much-visited Thick and Chewy, Fast and Easy Pizza Dough recipe?

* * * * *

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And although not everyone will admit to it, there’s the argument, Signing them up for stuff gets them out of my hair!

At least that’s what I hear around these parts.

Well, our little family tries to embrace a slower pace as much as possible. We’ll be traveling for a couple of weeks this summer. We’ll do VBS at our church. We’ll walk to the neighborhood swimming pool. But most of the time is at home, where there’s a good amount of hanging out in the back yard playing with neighbors. We might tackle a big cleaning of the basement. We love to visit a park or a pond and get out in nature. The kids and I all enjoy reading in the hammock. Even the older kids still enjoy running through sprinklers and having a water balloon fight. And we sit on the deck at one of our neighbors’ houses frequently to sip iced tea and chat while the kids race around catching fireflies.

We limit technology while encouraging outdoor play and creativity. Oh, and we expect everyone to accomplish a few chores, too.

Plus, unless a kid turns destructive or defaults to technology, I think some boredom is healthy in our household. I wrote about it not long ago and linked to an article that reinforced this.

Practically speaking, however, I have used the long list of ideas from A Mother’s Manual for Summer Survival by Kathy Peel & Joy Mahaffey that I picked up at a used book sale one time (prior to that I had checked it out of the library). She includes craft ideas, recipes for homemade Play-dough and finger paints, and plenty of no-mess activities, as well.

I print out that long list out and post it. If the kids run out of their own ideas, the list offers things they could try to jumpstart creativity.

I also liked Steve Caney’s Play Book. It’s really dated–the kids look like they’re wearing the same clothes I wore when I was their age, and I’m old. Oh, I just looked it up to give a link, and it’s copyrighted 1974. That explains it. Anyway, it’ll take you back to a simpler time. For example, hand the kids some string or yarn and see what happens. You think they’ll look down on these low-tech raw materials, but just wait. You’ll see. I do advise, however, that you keep scissors handy in case something or someone can’t be unwound from whatever they’ve strung together.

We like the old, simple standby ideas, like making tents from sheets in the living room on a rainy day or in the back yard on a sunny day. We’ve even had our kids put up the family camping tent as a playhouse in the summertime. They’ve always wanted a clubhouse, but we never could get one built. This was a simple alternative–not the same, but fun in its own way. Last year, the younger ones would take their stuffed animals out there and play for hours.

Yesterday, some friends were over, and they all played “College.” They hauled out some old textbooks and pretended to study. This is an adaptation of their old standby, “Orphanage,” in which one of the kids dons a silly, matronly outfit and pretends to be the stern schoolmaster, and the rest anxiously copy down math problems from an old chalkboard we have in the basement. Or they diagram sentences for grammar class.

As I type, two neighbors are over, and they’re all plucking weeds and pounding them down into some kind of pretend soup.

At least, I hope they’re plucking weeds…and not…my new…plants…Hold on a second.

Okay, it’s fine. They’re working with dandelions and a patch of overgrown grass by the fence line where we should have used the weed eater. Whew!

That’s a nice segue to my final thought on the topic:

There’s a down side to letting creativity reign; the kids may dig where you don’t want them to dig or make messes when you hoped things would stay clean. I’ve tried to remind the kids to always ask before embarking on a construction project…to check with me before using something for one of their games. They do. Most of the time.

But we kind of gave up on a tidy house a long, long time ago. It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy it. I’d like to have it neat and pretty. But I also want kids who are practicing problem-solving and innovation. Sometimes one must tolerate some chaos to embrace experimentation and invention.

Behind our house, the neighbor girl has formed a little secret spot under some fir trees. I can see from the pots and pans and plastic cups and buckets of cut grass that it’s served as a natural clubhouse, a place where imagination has run free and active. I love it. I hope she spends many hours in the shade of those limbs, thinking, wondering, praying, pondering life.

Don’t be afraid of summer. Don’t even be afraid of those words, “Mom, I’m bored!”

Hand your kids one of those lists and go back to whatever you were doing.

Unless they’re techno-addicts or have been shuttled nonstop from one activity to the next; unless they’ve always been told what to do, I doubt if they’ll be bored for long.

Here are a few tangible ideas:

• One of our friends used shoe boxes when she was young to create a multi-story dollhouse. She used wallpaper scraps to line the insides and built little furniture pieces from American Girl doll craft instructions. She spent hours on that thing.
• Write one letter–the old-fashioned kind–every day to send to somebody. Keep a list of friends and relatives, church missionaries, penpals, etc. The rising price of stamps makes it seem like a bit of a splurge, but it’s such a joy to receive something in the mailbox, don’t you think? Fold up some of the artwork your kids have created to include in the shipment.
• Use wrapping-paper tubes to make a long track for Matchbox cars.
• Fold cootie-catchers or paper hats.
• Ask Best Buy or a furniture store for a big cardboard box. Bring it home. Set it in the yard or the family room. That’s all you’ll need to do, most likely. The kids can make soooo many things from a big cardboard box: it’s a boat, a race car, an international space station, or a Calvin & Hobbes Transmogrifier.

In closing, here’s the Play-Dough recipe from the Summer Survival book that I recommended above:

Ingredients:

• 2 C flour
• 1 C salt
• 4 t cream of tartar
• 2 C water
• 2 T salad oil
• Food Coloring
• Stir together everything but the food coloring and cook in a saucepan over medium heat until dough follows spoon and leaves the side of the pan. Cool and knead. Divide up and work food coloring into each blob until it’s got some nice intensity. Store each in airtight containers (I save up our cream cheese tubs and re-label accordingly).

Photo credits: all photos taken by Ann Kroeker

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But am I inadvertently creating imbalance to some features through activities that could easily be adjusted? Are there ways to bring a little more balance to the teeth, eyebrows and smile?

Imbalanced vs Balanced Teeth

One time I was looking at a picture of Katie Couric. Here’s one that will suffice to illustrate my point. For some reason, when I glanced at the photo, my eye went to her teeth. I saw that one of her front teeth was “bigger” than the other—that the gum was worn higher on her left front tooth than her right.

I thought, “She must brush with her right hand and focus more attention on that one.” I’m not picking on Katie—it’s just that her photo was the first one to draw my attention to this. In fact, be sure to note that the photo I selected is from People magazine’s “Most Beautiful People 2007” issue. Obviously her unbalanced teeth take nothing away—she’s stunning.

Anyway, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw that I’m doing the exact same thing! I leaned in, and sure enough—one tooth, bigger. I thought, “Whoa! I’ve got to go easy on the brushing!” I’ve got to ease up on my left one, for sure. In my morning fog, I’ve got to pay more attention to my ablutions.

So that’s the first tip—for more even gum-wear, pay more attention when brushing. Because the gum doesn’t grow back. And I don’t want people to point to me as illustrative of someone who is “long in the tooth.”

Okay, so the second is like it, only different.

Imbalance vs Balanced Eyebrows

One time I was talking with a friend of mine who is a tad older than I. She pointed to one of her eyebrows and said, “Look! One goes up higher than the other. See? The other hardly has any strength to lift at all!” And sure enough, she lifted one high and when she tried to lift the other, it was lethargic.

“Let that be a lesson to you, Ann.”

“What’s the lesson?” I asked.

“I think you should exercise both while you’re young,” she said. “Remember when your mom said your face would freeze that way? I think it kind of does.”

So I went home and looked in the mirror to compare my eyebrow lifting abilities. I’ve always been quite, um, expressive. When I make faces, they are big. I call my face “elasti-face” or “stage face,” as this post explains. So I can lift both eyebrows high. And I can isolate my left eyebrow while the right one stays down, doing sort of a quizzical Spock imitation.

But I can’t lift my right eyebrow on its own.

So at the advice of my friend with the weary eyebrow, I have practiced lifting just the one now and then.

To balance things out a little.

Balanced vs Imbalanced Smile

Oh, and the smile. Corner lifts are something to consider, as well. Does one side of the smile go up higher than the other? Maybe the muscles on the opposite side need a little exercise? When no one’s looking, I practice a one-sided grin. Or, well, I hope nobody’s looking—if they catch me “exercising,” they’ll think I’m smirking.

Keeping a Balanced Attitude about Balance

After 40 years of overzealous, unbalanced brushing, I won’t know if a tamer toothbrush regimen will really make a difference, or if I can one day lift each eyebrow individually, but I figure it can’t hurt.

As for the tooth, I just hope I can avoid using Sensodyne for a few more years.

Symmetry isn’t attainable; in fact, asymmetry offers some visual interest.

I guess this is more about balance.

Like rotating your tires.

I’ve been experimenting with how-to and helpful-tip posts for the past five days. If you’re curious:

Six Questions Worth Asking Myself

7 Ways to Enjoy Everyday Fun

7 Keys to a Happier Mother’s Day

13 Tips for Finding Five Minutes of Free Time for Mom (without multi-tasking!)

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I’ve tried. Over the years, I’ve felt like there are many times when I’ve had no choice but to do a dozen things at once.

But when I do that regularly—when multi-tasking is my mode of operation, nonstop, every day, from sun-up to sundown, I get agitated. I feel all frenzied and harried. I leave one of the two or seven things half-finished. I mess up something. It’s not energizing for me—au contraire, I feel drained and beaten down. In spite of diving-in to all those tasks and feeling the pleasure of accomplishment, I somehow end up feeling incredibly unproductive.

So I read up on multi-tasking. Research keeps emerging on the subject, and as I understand what’s revealed and reported, I feel as if I understand myself—and my limits—better.

We Don’t Multi-task – We Toggle, Juggle, Shifting from One Task to Another

It’s not that we actually do two or three or five or ten things at one time. This more academic article explains that when we “multi-task,” our “executive control” or “mental CEO” is at work prioritizing and allocating resources to this task or that—in essence “toggling” from one thing to the other as it sets on-the-spot goals.

In this more accessible article from CNN.com, one of those researchers is quoted extensively. She uses the example of talking on a cell phone while driving:

A lot of folks…think, ‘Well, cell phoning while driving is really no big deal and I can get away with it.’ But even if you have a cell phone that’s not held by hand and can be dialed by voice, you still have a really big conflict because when you’re driving you need to be looking at various different places, you need to be reading signs, you need to be talking to yourself about those in order to — through your mental speech — make decisions about where to go with your car. And there’s no way to do that while on the cell phone because you have to use your ‘inner ears’ and ‘inner speech’ and even your ‘inner eyes’ to imagine what the person on the phone is talking about.”

“We found that ‘switch cost,'” says Rubenstein, “increases with the complexity of the tasks. That suggests that a very simple conversation on the phone while driving a car — maybe ‘Honey, please pick up some bread on the way home’ — might not draw too much concentration. But if the conversation becomes difficult or emotionally charged or mentally taxing — like ‘Honey, the house is burning down, what should I do?’ — it draws more attention and more mental resources away from your primary task, which is driving the car: You’re more likely to have an accident.”

When we attempt efficiency, there’s a “shift cost”, and something suffers.

This article pointing to a more recent Johns Hopkins study describes the process of shifting from one thing to another as “turning down the volume”:

“The reason?” he said. “Directing attention to listening effectively ‘turns down the volume’ on input to the visual parts of the brain. The evidence we have right now strongly suggests that attention is strictly limited — a zero-sum game. When attention is deployed to one modality — say, in this case, talking on a cell phone — it necessarily extracts a cost on another modality — in this case, the visual task of driving.”

Take the example of students, as well, who try to juggle several things while doing homework–they text friends, IM, update Facebook, listen to music, glance at the TV screen to catch a few seconds of an American Idol performance. Something may suffer in that mix, as well. A student may tap out an IM or post something to Facebook without giving sufficient thought to wording and editing, and communicate something unintended causing relationships to erupt.

Or they miss every other problem of their Algebra homework because they were mesmerized by Syesha.

In fact, this related article highlights multi-tasking as it relates to learning:

“Multi-tasking adversely affects how you learn,” said Russell Poldrack, UCLA associate professor of psychology and co-author of the study. “Even if you learn while multi-tasking, that learning is less flexible and more specialized, so you cannot retrieve the information as easily. Our study shows that to the degree you can learn while multi-tasking, you will use different brain systems.

“The best thing you can do to improve your memory is to pay attention to the things you want to remember,” Poldrack added. “Our data support that. When distractions force you to pay less attention to what you are doing, you don’t learn as well as if you had paid full attention.”

Tasks that require more attention, such as learning calculus or reading Shakespeare, will be particularly adversely affected by multi-tasking, Poldrack said.

Multi-taskers are “Always On”

Reduce distractions. Focus. Monotask.

At the end of that article, Poldrack concluded, “Concentrate while you’re studying.”

And then this article on a study done in Great Britain stood out to me if only due to the headline that popped up in my search. It’s about multi-tasking on the job, but the headline reads: “E-mails hurt IQ more than pot.”

The survey of 1,100 Britons showed:

• Almost two out three people check their electronic messages out of office hours and when on holiday
• Half of all workers respond to an e-mail within 60 minutes of receiving one
• One in five will break off from a business or social engagement to respond to a message.
• Nine out of 10 people thought colleagues who answered messages during face-to-face meetings were rude, while three out of 10 believed it was not only acceptable, but a sign of diligence and efficiency. But the mental impact of trying to balance a steady inflow of messages with getting on with normal work took its toll, the UK’s Press Association reported.

And this:

He found the IQ of those who tried to juggle messages and work fell by 10 points — the equivalent to missing a whole night’s sleep and more than double the 4-point fall seen after smoking marijuana.”

Dude. R U checkin’ your e-mails while reading this?

The article said, “This is a very real and widespread phenomenon…We have found that this obsession with looking at messages, if unchecked, will damage a worker’s performance by reducing their mental sharpness….Companies should encourage a more balanced and appropriate way of working…The research suggests that we are in danger of being caught up in a 24-hour ‘always on’ society.”

Always on. Caught up in a dozen tasks, juggling 18 plates, never pausing.

Makes me tired.

And inefficient.

Isn’t Multi-tasking Simply Good Time Management?

I know a lot of people who can handle it. Their adrenaline kicks in, their capacity is huge, and they’re very organized, meaning that some of their work will tax the brain less. For them, multi-tasking is how they hold down two jobs and get their kids to Girl Scouts on time with hair brushed and uniform ironed. I’m impressed with all of you who fit that description!

I do not. Were I to tackle two jobs and getting the kids to Girl Scouts, we’d arrive late and look bedraggled. And I’d look a little wild-eyed, because I’d be so stressed out about what I forgot to do at the first job and worry that I’m not ready for the second one.We might pull it off, but something would suffer.

Last weekend I chatted with a soccer mom I knew slightly—she’s one of the nurses at our pediatrician’s office. She’s also launched a program through a local hospital to help kids struggling with weight. I said something about my inability to multi-task and that from my reading, “multi-tasking actually makes us less efficient. Something suffers.”

She strongly disagreed. Multi-tasking is how she’s making it through the day. It’s how she’s keeping her program up and running even though it’s understaffed. It’s how she gets her kids to soccer and keeps working at the doctor’s office one day a week.

We talked some more, and she said that it’s during “down time,” when she’s waiting for a computer to boot that she makes a phone call; or when she’s running photocopies that she can check e-mail.

“I guess we need to define ‘multi-tasking,’ then,” I said. “Because that sounds like ‘making good use of “down” time’ rather than trying to actually do two things at the same time.”

A friend of mine sitting next to me was half-engaged in the conversation. “That just sounds like good time management to me,” she said, “but not necessarily ‘multi-tasking’ the way Ann’s describing it.”

The soccer mom nodded slowly. She admitted that she was stressed. She said she was barely getting things done at home.

I suggested, “I think we can stir the spaghetti or mop the floor while talking on the phone—no one is at risk like they would be if we were talking on a phone in the car. And even if the floor isn’t perfectly scrubbed or we splash the sauce, it won’t matter that much. But in our brains, something is switching back and forth. That’s all I’m saying.”

She laughed and said she would for sure keep stirring spaghetti sauce and talking on the phone.

And I laughed, because I did just the other day, too. And it splashed on the cabinet, my pants, and my shoes.

As a mom, I find that I’m distracted enough without inviting even more of it through multi-tasking.

The Choice to Monotask – Do One Thing at a Time

So I’ve tried to simplify. I’ve tried to focus on one thing at a time, when possible, and give it my full attention.

Sometimes we don’t have a choice. I’ve been forced to figure out how to juggle stuff. If I’m stuck multi-tasking, I at least try to acknowledge that I will be more effective if I can figure out how to isolate a task and switch purposefully and intentionally from one thing to the next. Most of the time, I try to avoid lots of stressful “layering” in my life.

By living a little more defined and focused, I am more “present” to my family. I’m not always panicked about the next thing or the thing I realized I’ve neglected. I wish I could report that my family has ended up with a neater home or finer meals prepared with great attention to detail. I don’t linger with the laundry all that much.

But the manic feeling in my head has settled. I don’t have that frantic, unfinished, “I know I’ve dropped the ball somewhere along the line” feeling as often.

They have a more peaceful mother who can look them in the eyes without ticking through a massive to-do list.

They’ve got a mom who has accepted her limits.

Life is not always within my control, however, so there are times when events collide on my calendar and I’ll have to sort them all out and stir the sauce while scheduling people to serve at church or something. And my aversion to multi-tasking doesn’t mean I can’t kick into gear when need be and work hard. It just means that I try to do that one thing well before moving on to the next thing and doing it as well as I possibly can.

It’s taken me years to realize the problem, and despite being challenged by those soccer moms, I feel validated by research:

Multi-tasking doesn’t work for me.

The post Multi-tasking Doesn’t Work for Me appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

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“Truth or Bare,” a set of modesty “tests.”

Obviously, a reader’s personal standards might be much more or much less conservative than this, but it’s a starting point to discuss modesty standards, and why they matter. Ultimately, they need to flow from a personal faith in Jesus Christ and a love for Him and desire to honor Him in every single way…as a temple of the Holy Spirit, how does that affect the way we dress? These are important questions to raise with young and developing girls who are thinking a lot about style and boys.

Just to give you an idea of what the Truth or Bare tests are like, the first one is “Raise and Praise.” To see if too much belly shows, raise your hands and see how high your shirt rides up. “Bellies are very intoxicating,” the text says, “and we need to save that for our husbands.”

The suggested solution? Layers. It suggests getting a ribbed tank top or tank top from the men’s department to wear underneath.

It goes through several other tests to test for whether or not cleavage (or for some tweens–future cleavage) is peeking out, undies showing, etc.

It’s set up for the girls to go through themselves, with photos of real girls in that tween age-range, happily giving the test a try.

With swimsuit season upon us, the girls and I have been talking a lot about modesty issues and principles on which to base our decisions. This has been an excellent tool that’s worked for us and opened up lines of communication.

I hope it helps launch healthy discussions in other households, as well.

** UPDATED: These “tests” can be implemented when girls are very young, so that even little girls get used to thinking about coverage. They’re good for grownup women to consider, as well. I pulled on a pair of brown slacks this weekend, bent over and looked in the mirror. Sadly, they failed the pantyline test…I either have to lose a little weight or donate them to Goodwill… **

For more WFMW ideas, return to Rocks In My Dryer, or take a moment to peruse my previous posts via my Works For Me Wednesday category.

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• Last Sunday at church, two guys in our class said that they are writing out the Bible, word for word, beginning with Genesis. They feel that the act of writing slows them down and brings incredible focus, and they see things in the Scriptures that they never noticed before. They call this practice “scribing.”
• A friend in the class joked that she was doing something similar, but less ambitious, than those guys and said she’s writing out Matthew. Same motivation–to slow down, focus, and interact personally with the Lord via the text. She brackets things that stand out to her, to return to and spend time with in meditation and prayer.
• Another guy in the group is going through a three-year daily Bible study book called Search the Scriptures that will take him slowly and meticulously through the entire Bible. He meets monthly with a friend who is also on track with the same book to discuss what they’re learning.
• I’ve mentioned my Psalter/Proverbs reading plan as a simple and basic discipline. If all else fails, if other plans fall apart, I can always fall back on this.
• Journaling. Always a great tool for my prayer life. This probably has a thousand variations–perhaps you can offer ideas about how you use journaling in your quiet time?
• A-C-T-S as a prayer plan, praying first Adoration, then Confession, then Thanksgiving, and finally Supplication. When I learned that technique, the teacher added L to the acrostic, for Listening, even those “ACTSL” isn’t a memorable word. It sounds a little like “axle,” though, doesn’t it? Sorry. I digress. I’ve used the ACTS(L) method with a journal and also just verbally or silently without pen-to-paper. Here’s a simple explanation from a UK-based ministry.
• One-Year Bible. A few years ago I picked up a One-Year Bible that actually divides up and breaks down passages into daily readings that include a passage from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and a Proverb. The sections are dated, so it’s all physically laid out for me to easily follow–open up to today’s date and read.
• One-Year Reading Plans. One doesn’t need to invest in a One-Year Bible to read through the Scripture in a year. There are a lot of these plans you can download to follow using your own Bible, checking off passages as you go. Here’s one I found in a quick search that also offers the option of a three-year plan. And here’s another from Crosswalk that you can use online that just pops up the reading of the day when you go to the link. I guess this is more like having an online One-Year Bible. If you’re fixing breakfast and have your laptop nearby, you can even click on a “Listen” option and have it read to you.
• Vary translations. Someone told me she reads through the Bible every year using a reading program, but chooses a different translation every time, to get a fresh perspective.
• Devotional Books. These can offer a story or insight from someone, Scripture passages, and sometimes prayers. I’ve used old classic books as well as daily subscription types. Our Daily Bread is one that I used in college–it’s still available printed, but also online. My Utmost for His Highest is also available online, along with Streams in the Desert, and Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening, among others.
• Scripture-based Book studies, like Beth Moore’s books or Blackaby’s Experiencing God, or headier stuff like a survey of the Old or New Testament. CBD has a list of Bible studies in various categories. Have you used any in particular that stand out?
• Commentaries online are handy. There are a lot, like here, here, and here. Lots of other places, too, if you do a quick search.

I look forward to collecting some more ideas in the comments! Please share ideas and tools for how your time with the Lord has become richer and more meaningful.And then be sure to pop back over to Rocks In My Dryer to offer more great insights and ideas to people’s pressing questions today at Backwards WFMW.Oh, and feel free to browse my previous posts of things that have worked for me.

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The copyright dates back to 1976 and has been renewed, renewed and renewed. Mine leads up to the 43rd printing in 1996.

“There is a way of wasting less, eating less, and spending less which gives not less but more,” the author says. She offers a fascinating analysis of North American habits related to food consumption. And then she compiled recipes submitted from all around the world, including personal cooking notes, inspirational thoughts, and helpful tips on substitutions.

The recipes offer clear instructions for making simple dishes that use basic, unprocessed ingredients. I’m not the most talented or intuitive cook, so I appreciate the layout—it’s easy to understand and follow. I’ve turned to it many times for soups, breads, main dishes, side dishes, and ideas for leftovers.

Sometimes I don’t know how to make really basic dishes, so I often start with this and see if they’ve explained it for me. The food isn’t fancy, but it’s tasty, filling, healthy, and down-to-earth. I recommend tracking this down at the library and checking it out. Try a few of the recipes and see what you think.

To whet your appetite, I’m going to include the best introduction to lentils ever. If you ever wanted to try lentils, but you weren’t really sure what to do with them, give this one a try. You’ll learn to love those lentils!

Honey Baked Lentils

Serves 8

350 degrees, 1 hr

Combine in a dutch oven of saucepan:

• 1 lb (2 1/3 C) lentils
• 1 small bay leaf
• 5 C water
• 2 t salt

Bring to a boil. Cover tightly and reduce heat. Simmer 30 minutes. Do not drain. Discard bay leaf.

Preheat oven to 350.

Combine separately and add to lentils:

• 1 t dry mustard
• 1/4 t powdered ginger
• 1 T soy sauce
• 1/2 C chopped onions (I sauteed them with the bacon instead of mixing them here to shave a little off the cooking time)
• 1 C water
• Cut in 1″ pieces: 4 slices bacon (I cooked this with the onions in a skillet to crisp it up a bit) Stir most of the bacon into lentils and sprinkle remainder on top.
• Pour over all: 1/3 C honey

Cover tightly. Bake 1 hour. Uncover last 10 minutes to brown bacon.

Options:

Bacon may be partially precooked if desired (I desired). Substitute 1/2 lb browned ground beef or sausage (never did this, so I can’t vouch for other meats), or omit meat completely (I like the bacon flavor, but I’ve made it without).

Delicious served with hot baked rice. Pass soy sauce. (This is true.)

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Just ask the friend who does my hair—she’s thrilled if I agree to something other than a blunt trim straight across. I often forget to wear makeup, even though my face would certainly benefit from daily attention and improvements. And then of course I waltzed around town wearing a cute blue dress earlier this summer only to discover I was waltzing in a nightgown.

Clearly, style is not my area of expertise.

And yet….I’ve realized that adding a few classy touches to my life is nice. I’m not talking big changes—just everyday things that make me feel a little more civilized.

So I threw together a list of simple ways to class up one’s life a notch. (But don’t panic if you’re like me and can barely get your kitchen countertops cleared off and wiped down—these ideas really are simple, and are only a notch classier than my usual plain, laid back, inelegant, casual existence.)

1. Goblets. Drink everyday beverages from goblets. I picked up a pair of pretty goblets from a neighbor’s garage sale and drank my iced tea from one. Nice. The kids think so, too–use goblets for their milk, juice and Kool-Aid. If someone accidentally breaks one, no big deal. Keep your classy cool and simply go get another from Goodwill for 50 cents.
2. A Toast. Now that you’re holding glasses with a stem, how about a toast? “Here’s to unexpected elegance”–ching, ching. Seriously, a little toast gets our minds thinking differently. What is special about our lives? How can I piece together a one- or two-sentence speech? It’s an interesting little exercise for our kids (me, too). At lunch today, we held our glasses high for French bread sandwiches, garage sales (oh, so classy), and soccer. The toasts themselves weren’t that stylish, but they’re a start. Of course, teach the kids restraint right from the start so that they go easy on the chinging, or you may find yourself with a cracked goblet on the first day.
3. Skirts in Summer. I’m normally a casual, sporty shorts gal in the summer, but taking a tip from Big Mama, I wore a cotton skirt with a plain, simple T-shirt the other day to celebrate the record-breaking Midwestern Indian summer. I felt sassy and classy, while remaining relatively comfortable in the 90 degree heat.  Big Mama wrote, “[M]y answer to a sweatsuit alternative for summer is a cotton skirt with a t-shirt and flip-flops. It’s cute, it’s cool, and it’s casual. Throw on a denim jacket and it transitions you to fall. It gives the illusion that you’ve put some effort into your wardrobe…And I am all about the illusion of effort…Smoke and mirrors, ladies. Smoke and mirrors.” So…drink another goblet-filled toast to smoke and mirrors, people. Class it up with the illusion of effort.
4. A European Course. Serve something kind of European at dinner. I skimmed the book French Women Don’t Get Fat a few weeks ago, and one idea Mireille Guiliano had was to slice tomatoes, spread them out on a bed of lettuce, salt heavily and sprinkle them with goat cheese. Simple to prepare with an  unexpected flavor combination (for a normally unclassy American). And delicious (you could substitute feta, if you like). That’s just one idea of many simple courses one could add to dinner (another common dish is to serve each person a slice of melon with a slice of prosciutto as a course before what we would call the entree. It would, in France, actually be called the entrée–the “entry,” if you will, to the main dish.). Go ahead, drink another toast to goat cheese and French simplicity: “Vive la chevre! Vive la simplicité!”
5. Candles at dinner. They’re cheap, and the kids love ’em. Turn off the lights and they’re even an alternative source of lighting in this age of low-impact adaptations. Might as well make it a regular thing. It’s funny, but when we use candles at dinner, the kids are usually quieter, less restless, and a bit kinder and more reflective. It makes me wonder why I’ve been so stingy with candles in the past. All those rowdy, tiring dinners might have been redeemed with the magical, classy touch of low lighting. So where are we? Let’s see….Goblets. Cotton skirts. A tomato salad with goat cheese. Candles. What’s next?
6. Classical music. Now, I don’t mean to advance from a tiny notch classier to downright snobbish, but honestly, something happens to the family when we play classical music during dinner. Just as the candles seem to have a calming effect, classical music seems to provide a classier mood and mentality. Even kids who prefer rock or pop or country will tolerate classical style music if it’s just “dinner music.” Stop by the library to borrow a Vivaldi CD, or just flip on the classical station and accept whatever they have to offer.
7. Flowers. While we’re still at the dinner table, may I suggest setting out a simple bouquet of flowers beside the candles? Today, I picked six or seven flowers from the garden and stuck them into glass Coke bottles for vases. The kids loved them. Class meets casual. I know a few classy ladies who can serve meals in the dining room with kids all around while an ornate vase bursting with roses graces the space, but I’m just a daisy-in-a-Coke-bottle gal most of the time. I guess I’m casually classy when I’m classy at all, and this illustrates why I qualified this whole post by saying it would only be classier by “a notch.”
8. Scarves. I’ve seen them on French women every time I visit The Belgian Wonder’s family, and I always think how classy they look. Women wear scarves a lot in Belgium and France–they’re a simple way to make an outfit look special. Here’s a video with instructions for how to tie/knot them.
9. Posture. I’ve been a sloucher, but in recent years I’ve worked on improving my posture because women who sit and stand up tall have always seemed so much classier to me than those who slouch. It’s something that doesn’t cost me a cent, is a healthy habit, and offers an air of confidence–compensating for the days I wear a nightgown to the coffee shop and forget to apply lipstick (or mascara, or blush, or foundation).
10. Yes. You’re going to think I’m such a hillbilly, but I have listened to the children and realized a grave error in my speech patterns. They mirror my unsophisticated habit of responding with “yeah” and even “yep” in place of “yes.” I think at some point in my life, I attempted to be cute by answering “yep,” and somebody must have chuckled, so it stuck. I’m trying to switch to the straightforward, clear, and far classier, “Yes,” but it’s hard; I’m shocked at how ingrained the lazy “yeah” and silly “yep” have become.

* Bonus Tip: Slow Down Speech. As I mentioned in a recent post, I talk too fast. Dad reminds me of it nearly every time we gather. It’s a hard habit to break, but I’m sitting up straight at the dinner table, goblet in hand, with a simple toast on the tip of my tongue, attempting to speak slowly and clearly, enunciating every word distinctly, including the final “s” in “yes.” I am. Oh yes, I am.

So there you have it: Ten simple ways to class up one’s act on an everyday basis.

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Many years ago I saw an article explaining how Billy Graham read through both the book of Psalms and the book of Proverbs each month.

He read one chapter in Proverbs per day—Proverbs 1 on the 1st day of the month and so on through the 31st. I guess he’d read several on the 28th of February to make it to the end (certainly wouldn’t want to neglect the Proverbs 31 woman).

Then he read five psalms daily to be able to finish the entire book and cycle around to begin again with Psalm 1 the next month.

He said that the book of Psalms taught him how to get along with God, and the book of Proverbs taught him how to get along with his “fellow man.”

This made a great impression on me.

So I tried it.

A Proverb a day worked pretty well, but I got a little overwhelmed by Psalms.

Take, for example, a long psalm like 119. Reading all of that and four other psalms in one day felt like too much compared to Day 1, when on Billy’s plan, I would read Psalms 1-5. They’re shorter.

I guess for devotional reading, I needed a more predictable length. 

Then I started using the psalter in a copy of The Book of Common Prayer that I picked up at a bookstore.

In the back, the entire book of Psalms was divided up into more or less equal portions—one portion for the morning, and another for the evening. This made each day’s reading so much more manageable and predictable in length. Plus, by having a morning and evening reading, I could bracket my day with psalms.

I used that psalter for the first year or so (I wasn’t entirely consistent, but I followed the plan pretty well—I’d catch up after missing a day or two). The translation used in the Book of Common Prayer offered a slightly different emphasis at times, as the wording was slightly different from the translation I used more often (NIV).

Eventually, however, I found that I wanted to go through it using the NIV.

One afternoon when I had some time on my hands, I opened up my NIV study Bible and right on the pages, I marked up the book of Psalms in pencil to follow the same pattern of morning and evening readings. Now I had my own psalter to follow, right there in my own Bible. Handy.

I haven’t always used it, but when I hit a point in my spiritual life when I crave that consistent routine, I start up in the Psalms, on whatever day it happens to be, and begin the cycle.

Today is the 26th.

This morning’s reading began with Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”

I looked up from my Bible and asked one of my daughters, who was finishing up her cereal, if she recognized it. She shook her head.

“But it’s famous!” I exclaimed. “Amy Grant sang it using the King James version.” I proceeded to sing, “Thy word…”

“Oh! Yes, I remember it now.”

And the same morning reading today included a passage that I love:

“The unfolding of your words gives light;
it gives understanding to the simple.
I open my mouth and pant,
longing for your commands.
Turn to me and have mercy on me,
as you always do to those who love your name.
Direct my footsteps according to your word;
let no sin rule over me.”
Psalm 119:130-133

The unfolding of your words gives light.

Perhaps it’s the writer in me that responds to that so intensely, but it brings me hope as I work with words and offer them to the world. I seek understanding and I seek to offer words that give light.

This link takes you to an online psalter from the 1928 Book of Common Prayer.

If you’re on the computer a lot, you could log on and start your day with something meaningful on the screen—and in your heart—before launching your work, blog, or play.

______________________________

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When my friend A. was helping me with some decorating ideas (I’m hopeless on my own), she recommended that I group the books on my family room shelves somehow.

“Group them? Like, with the Dewey Decimal System?” I asked. I wasn’t opposed. As a matter of fact, it would have made locating books much easier.

“No, not like that. I’m thinking like a decorator here. You could do it any number of ways.”

“You’re going to have to give me some ideas here.”

“Well, you could go by size, or by the type of book–in fact, you could slip all your paperbacks into baskets–or you could group them by color–“

“Stop!” I exclaimed. “Color! I like that idea.”

She was surprised. She was sure I was going to download the Dewey Decimal system and stick numbers on the spines.

But sure enough, I did it. I grouped them by color. First I took the dust covers off the hardback books (I saved the dust covers in a plastic storage bin in the basement, because I just couldn’t throw them away. I guess some people just toss them. Horrors!), and discovered that the hard covers could be loosely grouped into a few main color categories. I shelved them in those general categories and really liked the calming visual effect.

The only disconcerting thing is to have all of the C.S. Lewis books scattered here and there instead of grouped in one place. Or to have some totally secular novel right next to R.C. Sproul or J.I. Packer. I hope they don’t mind. Perhaps there is a sanctifying effect by osmosis?

And title-browsing can be rather disconcerting, as there’s nothing tying the books together thematically, nor are they collected by author or alphabetical order. The primary thing they share in common is the color of their spines.

This is not the natural choice of a book lover, I’ll admit. But I’m happy with the way my family room feels.

They are only grouped by color in the family room, by the way. I grouped them a little more by my own logic in the front room (poetry on one shelf, fiction books by contemporary authors on another, classic paperbacks in one place and classic hardbound on another shelf nearby, etc.).

People notice first that I have an alarming number of books (you may recall that my living room also has a large quantity of books on display). And then they stare at those family room shelves for a moment.

Slowly it dawns on them. “You’ve got your books grouped by color, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I answer. “I know it’s weird, but it works for me.”

Obviously, there are exceptions slipping in, but the top left shelf is mainly green, next down are the whites and off-whites, and under that are the blacks (with an odd white stuck in there, as you can see).

Top right shelf is mainly blue. Under that: red. And under the red are some greyish spines followed by a few more whites.

Note: In the years since I first posted this, grouping books by color has become common, but with A.’s help, I was an early adopter, even if it was not expertly done.

The post Group Books by Color appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

At my brother’s urging, I signed up with StoryCorps to interview my mom back in 2007. My brother interviewed Dad.

The idea of StoryCorps is to collect the stories of everyday people and save them for posterity. Here’s how they explained their vision:

StoryCorps is modeled—in spirit and in scope—after the Works Progress Administration (WPA) of the 1930s, through which oral history interviews with everyday Americans across the country were recorded. These recordings remain the single most important collection of American voices gathered to date. We hope that StoryCorps will build and expand on that work, becoming a WPA for the 21st Century. (2007 website description)

Interviewing my mom was a privilege and pleasure—she’s a great storyteller, and I think we managed to capture excellent verbal snapshots of her life. We traveled back to her small town childhood during WWII, as she explained what a different world it was and how much freedom she was given to roam and explore. She talked about her dad, my grandfather, and what made their relationship so special. She told about interviewing Vivian Vance—yes, Ethel from I Love Lucy—for The Indianapolis Star. 

These were great snippets to get on record. StoryCorps provided us with a CD of the interview for our own family records, and evidently they file one with the Library of Congress.

Capturing Family Stories

But the experience also inspired me to schedule more time with mom and dad in order to record more stories, just for our family. On our walk back to the car, we recalled two or three more stories—famous family stories—that would have been wonderful to have her tell. Oh well. There’s only so much you can fit into a 40-minute interview. [Edited to add that Mom has since captured many of her stories in book form, in a memoir of sorts called Hoping for Dolphins.]

Reading the vision of StoryCorps made me think about blogs and social media. I think a lot of people are preserving stories for posterity via these platforms.

Many of us are living life and then writing about it, hitting highlights and lowlights, telling vivid stories and posting them to Facebook, Instagram, or a personal website. Informally, instinctively, and without being directed by a clear goal, we’re giving to the world a collective effort not unlike StoryCorps’ initiative. We are adding to the conversation in our own way, capturing life as we know it in the 21st Century.

Living and Writing Unfolding History

If someone were to scour our sites for the stories, they would likely find hints of history or history-in-the-making. Some bloggers tell stories from their childhood—which is history—while others type out what’s transpired in the past day or so—which will one day be history. 

Blogging and writing on social media differs from StoryCorps in that it’s not oral history (except for podcasters producing personal content), but it is history in everyday language by everyday people, recorded electronically and posted for all to ponder.

One day we may be astounded at the window into our world that seems so ordinary from day to day, as we sit in front of our computer terminals, diligently typing away.

We’re leaving a legacy, however lighthearted or profound it may be.

I find that fascinating and inspiring.

Recording the Stories

I was so inspired by the experience that I resolved to continue collecting family stories via audio and on paper or electronically—any way possible.

In order to collect high-quality audio of the stories, StoryCorps recommends acquiring a hand-held microphone and digital recorder, along with headphones to monitor the sound levels and quality.

It’s tempting to go overboard and borrow some high-tech equipment from church or a friend who specializes in multi-media, but I’ve used what I have. The sound quality was average in the beginning and has improved over time as handheld devices and phones offer top-notch mics.

My goal is to spend an hour with each of parent several times, until we’ve amassed a fine collection of family history, genealogy, anecdotes, tributes, and remembrances.

Here’s my plan:

• List Key Stories: I could kick myself for missing a few great family stories during our official StoryCorps interview. Before I go out to my parents’ house, I’m going to keep a running list of the “famous” ones that I want to capture. Then I can just go down the list and say, “Tell me the one about Aunt Lynn at the viewing” or “Let’s hear about great-grandma and the Chicago Fire.” These stories have been told and retold, so that’s the only prompt necessary. I’ll have Mom and Dad write some down, as well. I can keep a master checklist of those that are recorded, so that we don’t tell them over and over.
• Assemble Equipment: Before heading out, I’ll make sure I have extra batteries and the headphones to my MP3, or be sure to have a charger cored for the cell phone, so I don’t make all those plans and see them come to a screeching halt because of a dead battery. The headphones are just to check that it’s working.
• Keep Kids Occupied: Personally, I don’t mind hearing my cute kids in the background, but the recording would probably be better for posterity if I can keep them from interrupting. Besides, that would just be rude of them. Fortunately for me, my oldest daughters are old enough to babysit, so I can give them instructions to keep the youngest quiet and that should work fairly well. Maybe. Let’s hope. For people with younger kids, I suggest a little creative babysitting—maybe ask the grandparent if a neighbor could come over the keep the kids busy, or if there are two grandparents, ask if one could watch the kids as the other is interviewed.
• Additional Questions: Search for questions online, as I’m not the only one gathering stories from parents and grandparents. Using thoughtful, open-ended questions to ask curated by others arms us with lots to choose from.
• Refrain from Audible Encouragement: I’ve listened to some interviews I’ve conducted and can’t stand to hear myself saying, “Mmhm…okay…sure….ha-ha-ha-ha!” or whatever response seemed important at the time. You will enjoy this much more if you just pose the question and let the storyteller do all of the talking. Smile. Nod. Nod more if you need to. Raise your eyebrows. But I recommend refraining from lots of murmuring. Oh, and this should go without saying, but—don’t interrupt! Let the storyteller talk herself all the way to the end, and if she thinks of another story, let her have at it. Just jot it down on the master list.
• Jot Notes in a Notebook: As the storyteller is talking, he might say something that makes me think of yet another story I want to hear or a question to ask. Scribble notes, but don’t distract from the story. Look up quickly and nod again.

Complementary Story-Capturing Ideas

1. Blog: I also got the idea of creating a group blog. I haven’t succeeded in setting it up so that family members can easily log in and contribute, but I’m working on it. In the meantime, at the very least, Mom and Dad can write up their stories, e-mail them to me, and I can post them on the blog. That way we have a written record of the stories, as well, and can direct extended family members to it, or we can just enjoy reviewing the stories ourselves.
2. Kids’ Assignments: Involving the kids as interviewers is an interesting twist on the idea. I haven’t yet assigned this to my oldest, but I think it could be a good project for school—interviewing her grandparents and creating a written report afterwards, along with memory pages for a scrapbook.
3. Skype/Zoom-Interview: I was greatly impressed with Boomama’s podcasts (I haven’t listened to Episode 3 yet, so the link takes you to Episode 2) that are created using Skype but Zoom will work just as well. I can use that technology to capturing family history and stories of the other set of grandparents overseas. For people with parents who live far away, this could be a way to expedite the story-gathering process (rather than waiting until a visit)—assuming that one’s parents (or grandparents) would be able to handle their end of the technology.
4. Transcriptions: Transcribing those stories could be a good project for my tweeners’ typing practice. It’s hard work, but what a great Christmas present they could give to family members! The typed-out version of the recordings, bound together and if possible, illustrated with photocopied photographs that relate to each story. If they can’t handle that, I could do it myself (and be the one to give the marvelous gift). If you don’t mind paying for it, you could hire a high-school or college student to do the transcription part for a fee. Or use a system like Temi.com (now owned by Rev.com) or HappyScribe, which offers imperfect but fast and fairly accurate AI transcription.
5. Video: Another method would be to videotape the storyteller as he or she talks. Video files can also be uploaded to HappyScribe for transcription.

As I continue with the story-gathering process, I’ll probably generate even more ideas and solutions. In the meantime, don’t lose those stories. Go to the storytellers and one way or another, collect them and preserve them. It’s part of your heritage and history.

Besides, if you’re a writer, it’s great stuff to have on hand. After all, you never know when you’ll be asked to write your memoirs, autobiography, or just want some great stuff for a novel (you didn’t hear that, Mom).

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The post Creative Methods for Capturing Family Stories appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Once a week, the kids ask for pizza.  To save money and time (and eat a little healthier), I make my own crust.

I got the original recipe and instructions from one of the Tightwad Gazette books years ago, but have altered it to fit what works for me.

Thick and Chewy, Fast and Easy Pizza Dough

1/2 – 3/4 c. warm water

1 T. dry active yeast

1 t. sugar (for the yeast)

2 c. flour (I use half whole wheat and half white, but most kids would balk at that the first time)

1 T. vegetable oil (I use olive oil)

1/2 t. salt

(also, I double and sometimes triple this for my family of six–without needing to increase the amount of yeast–and frankly, I don’t measure any of the ingredients precisely anymore. I just toss in what looks to be about right and it turns out find almost every time. But you might not want to try that the first time.)

1. Combine 1/4 c. water with yeast and sugar. Stir to dissolve the yeast, set aside until bubbly about 5 minutes.

2. Mix flour and salt, then add the oil.

3. Stir the yeast mixture into the flour mixture, adding water until it forms a ball you can work with. I start with a wooden spoon and then switch to using my fingers to squish and mix. Knead for a few minutes (I just knead it in the bowl until it seems to be the consistency of, well, pizza dough). The original instructions said to cover with plastic wrap or another bowl and let stand for 10 minutes, but I go ahead and spread it into the pan(s) and let it do it’s mini-rise there.

4. While messing around with the toppings–chopping things up, calling the kids to help spread the sauce, and pulling out the cheese–the dough rises enough.  I don’t preheat the oven. Instead, I stick the pizza(s) in the oven with it cold, and let the crusts rise a little more as the oven heats up.

5. Put all the toppings on and bake at 350 or 375 or 425˚ (I have a new oven, so I’m experimenting) 10 or 15 minutes (or until done–I lift with a spatula to see if it’s brown on the bottom as well as watch the cheese).

Voila. Thick and chewy, fast and easy. And cheap.

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The post Thick and Chewy, Fast and Easy Pizza Dough appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Janel Messenger published a post entitled “The Anti-Boredom Life,” in which she talked about modeling a life of curiosity and enthusiasm for learning, turning off the TV and assigning chores. After reading her post, I was ready to take the kids on a breezy bike ride, run in the woods or veg out in a hammock watching clouds. She also included some practical suggestions for the kids that anyone could pull out to inspire a little creativity (LEGOs, anyone?).

She referenced almost in passing another piece she wrote called “Five Fat Files.”

Lifelong learners? Autodidacts? The idea of five fat files ties in nicely with refreshing one’s mind, for one thing, and is a practical concept to help lifelong learners actually focus their curiosity.

It reminds me of a line from an article I read about brain research. I’ve never been able to confirm that this is an Einstein quote, but Dr. Daniel Amen wrote in his article “Optimizing Brain Function“:

Einstein said that if a person studies a subject for just 15 minutes a day in a year he will be an expert, and in five years he may be a national expert.

Man, if that’s true, Janel Messenger’s well on her way. She’s been collecting so much information, if she studies those five files 15 minutes a day, she could be a columnist for a national magazine or appear on Oprah. I love that she’s picked her five areas of expertise and filled files (and then “drawers full of files busting with a collective wisdom!”) with relevant articles, quotations and ideas.

Brilliant.

What labels would be on your Five Fat Files?

The post What are Your Five Fat Files? appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

It’s pure and simple, with no animal or synthetic ingredients. Most of all, castile soap is a versatile product with numerous effective applications.

This will probably horrify all Arbonne and Mary Kay representatives, but I use it as a face and body wash.

The occasional blemish that would erupt on my chin or nose from month to month? No more. Not a one. Since I’ve been using castile soap, my complexion is better than ever. I know several readers who will just shake their heads at me—they’ll warn me that I shouldn’t use, well, soap on my skin. But, hey, it’s working great. It’s cheap, my skin looks and feels great, and after I use it on my face, I can use it to clean the shower, mop the floor and wash the dishes.

Yes, this product is so flexible, I’ve used it for everything that the back of the bottle suggests, except as a shampoo. I tried that and didn’t like it, but I have long hair and I’ve heard it’s better for people with short hair (and good for dandruff).

I use it for the following (I’m typing directly from the Trader Joe’s label):

• Body: Use directly on loofa, washcloth, or sponge for an invigorating shower or bath.
• Bubble Bath/Baby Bath: Pour one capful in running water for a luxurious bath. It’s also a gentle, safe way to bathe your baby (note: as with any baby wash, be sure to keep it out of their eyes).
• Fruit Wash: A couple of washes in water cleans pesticide residues off your fruits and vegetables.
• Hand Soap: Gentle on your hands and tough on dirt.
• General Use Cleaner: Its naturally powerful cleaning ability will get your floors, counters, bathrooms, and kitchen utensils spotlessly clean.
• Travelers, Backpackers, Campers: The perfect all-in-0ne cleaner. One (biodegradable) soap does it all without fouling up the environment.

This lady has some personal observations from using the actual Dr. Bronner’s brand, and mentions that some versions are better than others for specific uses (some have a high oil content and she observed oil stains when using it for laundry). She (and many others) also dis-recommends using it as a toothpaste. My Trader Joe’s bottle didn’t even bother suggesting that application.

I love how it simplifies life. And it’s safe for the environment: the makers are careful when producing it to be environmentally friendly; and when I put it to use, no harmful fumes or residues are wafting around my home.

You could try a bottle and see what you think. It’s concentrated, so one bottle lasts a while. If you don’t like it for one thing, you can use it for a dozen other uses until it’s gone and be done with it. Or maybe, like me, you’ll find that you’re hooked.

Please visit Rocks in My Dryer for more great ideas!

My previous Works-For-Me-Wednesday Ideas:

• Post-It Annotation for Library Books
• Everyday Mom-Mobile Essentials & Travel Notebooks
• Money-Motivated Kids
• Drawers-by-the-Door
• Make the Most of Internet Lag Time
• Storing Dishes: How Low Can You Go?
• Crepes? Mais, Oui!
• Containerize Kids’ Laundry
• Let It Snow, Let Us Slow (Crockpot Steel-Cut Oatmeal)
• Family LoveFest
• Joy of Lifelong Learning–For Free!
• MP3 Accompanist
• MP3 Note-taking

The post Castile Soap for a Simpler Life (and blemish-free face) appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Crepes are delicious.

In fact, when I’m feeling unappreciated, I simply pull out the eggs and announce a crepe night. They kiss and hug me and thank me over and over.

I suggest you learn to make crepes, too. What mom doesn’t need extra hugs and kisses?

Occasionally I’ve seen overpriced packages of pre-made crepes at the supermarket. There’s no need to buy those. Crepes are inexpensive and easy to make on your own. Once you get the knack of twirling your pan, you can wow your friends and family with your French culinary skills. Imitate Maurice Chevalier or Lumiere the Candlestick as you prepare the batter. Poof out your lips a little and say “Voila,” and “Je t’aime.” Exclaim “Mais, oui!” and “Sacre bleu!” and “Oh-la-la!” often. They’ll be so impressed, especially if they are mono-linguistic Americans.

Disclaimer: I am not French. I’ve never lived in France. I did not learn to make these from a French chef or even a French maman. I’m just making this clear in case any authentic French reader visits and frowns upon my Americanized methods. I am a self-taught crepe-maker. My family doesn’t complain, and I don’t think my blog readers will, either. I think you’ll thank me. And I’m pretty sure your kids will, too.

Speaking of authentic French readers, watch this short video of a traditional crepe maker in France. I want to warn you: the sous-chef slathers Nutella all over the crepes, so try to remain calm and relaxed. I’m telling you in advance so that you can get something to dab at the corners of your mouth, you know, in case of spontaneous salivation.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UduFOACMabM]

Tools:

Skillet

To make crepes at home, you don’t need the industrial crepe-machine or the little wooden gadget to spin the batter thin. You will, however, need a big skillet. If you have one with sides that kind of angle, that’s an easier design for slipping the spatula underneath the crepe.

My favorite skillet for crepes was a Teflon-coated number–Teflon makes flipping them much easier. I am, however, phasing out Teflon from my kitchen. I now use a stainless steel pan and have to spray it each time with something like Pam or wipe it with a little butter-paper to slick it up. If you use a stainless steel pan, oil or butter it each time. For each and every crepe. They like to stick, so I’m just telling you to do it every time because you might be tempted to skip just once, and then you can’t blame me if it tears. (If, however, you don’t listen and it sticks and tears as you try to flip it, eat it anyway. It’ll still taste good, especially with Nutella.)

My current stainless steel skillet is deep with steep sides, and I’ve been able to make it work for crepes, so don’t worry too much about the sides. Use what you have. If you use Teflon, you won’t have to be as diligent with the oiling.

Spatula

I use a regular old spatula you’d use for pancakes, but if you have a skinny one, you could try it.

Sifter

I rarely sift flour for recipes, but I find that I must for crepes. Otherwise the batter is lumpy. Crepes are so thin, they are unforgiving. No lumps allowed.

Whisk or Hand Blender

A whisk is the best tool for whipping up the ingredients by hand. I have an electric hand blender that I use sometimes to fluff up the eggs. I suppose you could use a normal blender, though I never have. It doesn’t seem as earthy as a whisk or as easy to pull out and rinse off as a hand blender.

Ingredients:

We have three versions–small, medium and large. My family of six can eat the large amount and more–I can hardly flip them fast enough. This is my own recipe–a combination of several that I’ve tried over the years.

Small

• 3 eggs (you can use fewer–some people use one large egg or two small)
• 1 1/3 C milk
• 1 t vanilla
• 2 T melted butter
• 1 C flour (I’m told you can swap in whole wheat flour, but I’ve never tried)
• 1/2 t salt2 T sugar (optional, in my opinion, because you’re going to sprinkle sweet things inside before eating)

Medium (doubled)

• 6 eggs (I’ve gotten by using one fewer, but consistency does change)
• 2 2/3 C milk
• 2 t vanilla
• 4 T melted butter
• 2 C flour
• 1 t salt
• 4 T sugar (optional)

For Large, I add more flour and milk to the recipe without changing anything else. Because I know what consistency the batter should be, I just monkey around until it looks right. They turn out lovely, which is why the number of eggs is iffy. Once you become an expert crepe-maker, you can fiddle around with the recipe and let me know how you modified it.

Directions:

• Blend the eggs with whisk or hand blender until fluffy.
• Add vanilla and melted butter.
• Sift flour (important step) and salt (and sugar) into the egg mixture, mixing as you sift.
• Add some milk and then alternate flour and milk, mixing all the while. Batter should be smooth.
• Ladle the batter (or pour a 1/4 or 1/3 C measuring cup) onto a hot skillet, spinning the skillet for a very thin crepe.

Spinning the crepe: The young lady in this YouTube video demonstrates the ladling and spinning step quite nicely, even if her camera operator’s giggling narration is a bit self-conscious. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khwP-ngVPOo]

• Lift the crepe with your spatula to peek at the bottom and see if the crepe is lightly browned–refer to the French street vendor’s version in the first video as a doneness guide. Turn it with a spatula. (Some people like to flip them like an omelette, but why tempt fate? In fact, the previous video clip ends with a failed aerial flip–further evidence that using a spatula is the best beginner’s method for successful crepe preparation.) The edge of the crepe will lift up slightly from the pan–even seem a little dry sometimes–when it’s ready.

Note: I find that my first crepe of the evening often turns out odd in some way. Don’t be discouraged if your first few tear, get too brown or turn out irregular in some way.

• Flop the finished crepe onto the waiting child’s plate or the serving plate. You can make several and keep them warm in the oven. You can also make them all in advance for company (trouble is, they’ll miss all the “oh-la-la’ing” and “Sacre bleu’ing”). Stack them with wax paper between each crepe and store them in the fridge. You can heat them briefly at the last minute in a warm skillet like you would a tortilla.

Fun Fillings:

Here’s the fun part: Filling and rolling (and eating) the crepes.

• Sprinkle brown sugar inside and roll up with a fork (you can fold into thirds like the street vendor, if you prefer)
• Spread a line of your favorite jam or preserves inside before rolling–you can even add some whipped cream (my Belgian-born-and-raised sister-in-law uses Reddi-wip)
• Nutella, of course
• Nutella with bananas
• Syrup, if you’re feeling rather American
• Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries–any berries (with or without cream)
• Lemon and sugar

You can Google for more filling ideas, but we use what we have on hand. The kids love it simple.If my overly detailed instructions are too hard to follow, watch this guy’s step-by-step cooking-show-style instructions. The first four minutes are about making crepes (then he modifies the recipe to make pancakes).[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdWKc2NHj48]

Crepes work-for-me-Wednesday, as well as Saturday, Sunday, my birthday–any day!

The kids think so, too.

The post Crepes? Mais, Oui! appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

My previous Works-For-Me-Wednesday Ideas:Family LoveFestJoy of Lifelong Learning–For Free!MP3 AccompanistMP3 Note-taking

The post Let It Snow; Let Us Slow appeared first on Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach.

Everybody shared in the fun. No one was left out. We had to make a Valentine for everybody in class: the teacher, the brainiacs, the shy kids, the awkward ones, boys and girls, even the bullies. It was fun to include everyone, walking past each decorated box and dropping in the notes.

Then came junior high, when some people started to get left out. A few people were deliberately “forgotten” in the filling of mailboxes, if there even were mailboxes. The shy, awkward and brainiac kids had only a few notes. The bullies may have received some extras as peace offerings. The psychological tricks of the “in” crowd turned this party-friendly, sociable, happy holiday into a disappointment. Valentine’s Day became the day when one’s status was formally revealed. One celebrated an abundance of notes, or slipped one’s meager few deep into a backpack pocket to be pondered later, when no one could count on one hand the number of cards received.

By high school, I grew to detest Valentine’s Day. It became a couple’s holiday. Girls had dates, or they didn’t. They had parties to attend, or they stayed home.

During most of high school, I stayed home. No dates, no parties. I just sat and watched some sappy Hallmark movie on TV, feeling sorry for myself. Like Charlie Brown, my mailbox, the one by the curb, was empty except for a card from Grandma. I dearly loved my Grandma and prized her card, of course, but it’s not exactly what I was hoping for.

One especially mopey year, my dad (under clear instructions from Mom, I suspect) brought home a card and small gift: a heart-shaped box. Lifting the lid revealed a music box. I turned the crank and it played a melancholy rendition of “The Way We Were.” I still have the box. You can listen to it yourself.

In spite of this lovely parental gesture, I grew to dislike Valentine’s Day, even dread it. It made me feel unloved and unwanted. Left out.

So when our kids were little, and since I didn’t really like the holiday much anyway, I determined to turn it into a big family holiday. We call it our Family LoveFest, and we celebrate on Valentine’s Day. The Belgian Wonder and I do not go out on that day (our anniversary is shortly after, so we go out sans enfants then). My theory is that eventually a sister will have an invitation to something–a dance, a date, a party with friends–and the others won’t. My hope is that our Family LoveFest will be such a wonderful time of fun, food, love and laughter, that whoever is stuck at home won’t feel “stuck” at all. In fact, I love the thought that the one with the invitation might even be thinking a little bit about us, wondering what she’s missing! I know, I know. That isn’t likely to happen, but maybe it will ease the sting for those left behind.That’s the background and motivation for Family LoveFest. Here’s what we do:

Family LoveFest Menu planning. We plan the menu together, as elaborate or simple as we are in the mood for. When the kids were younger, they liked it super-simple, so we didn’t make it any more involved than they wanted. Now that they’re older, they are branching out and suggesting different food items. We usually try to include lots of red and pink items, but we don’t force it. They like red Jell-O and jellied cranberry sauce. Tomato-based main courses. Pink lemonade. Angelfood cake with pink icing. Strawberries.

We try to involve the kids as much as possible in the planning so that there’s ownership on all fronts. This year we have the unexpected pleasure of sharing Valentine’s Day with their grandparents. Two of the kids asked if they could be the waiters. “Only if you really want to,” I said, “because this is your LoveFest, too.”

“We want to!” they exclaimed. “It sounds like fun!” Wonderful! Besides, serving others and love go together. That works.They want to write out a menu and serve courses. They want to dress up. They’ll decorate the table themselves–probably with bears holding homemade hearts. And they may scatter M&Ms around for color (and chocolate). We’ll make Valentine cards for everybody, with special love messages, because in our Family LoveFest, no one gets left out. And we’ll go around and tell each person what we admire about him or her–Valentine’s Day affirmations.

I do go online sometimes (this year I’ll be checking out the ideas listed at WFMW!) for creative ideas, but the basic concept is the same: to let everyone in the family know that no matter what’s happening at school with friends or bullies or boyfriends and girlfriends or the lack thereof, they are and always will be loved at home.Please visit Rocks in My Dryer for more great ideas!

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“How would I ever choose just one thing?” S. has moaned several times. “I’m interested in so many things!”

Me, too.

So it was fun to find yet another person who feels the same: An Ordinary Mom drew up a dream list of classes she’d love to take sometime. How inspiring!

With permission to totally copy her post, I decided to type up my own list. Even though I’ve become handy at research and self-study, I would really enjoy sitting in a class taught by an expert. Even an autodidact can dream about outside instruction, can’t she?

1. French. So I can talk with the Belgian in-laws. Most of them are bilingual, but some of the nieces and nephews are bilingual in French and Flemish, instead of French and English, so I have to depend on a translator or gesture my meaning in an embarrassing attempt at cross-cultural guesswork. And I’m tired of speaking in short, choppy, infantile French and only understanding portions of the conversation around the dinner table when we’re visiting. I’d like to take a class from an expert, but until then I do recommend French in Action online as an excellent alternative (you can watch the Video on Demand of each class for free–I think it adds up to a year of college-level French, but don’t quote me on that). I wrote a review about French in Action on my old blog, if you want more details.
2. Philosophy. I never took a philosophy course, so I feel ignorant in this area. I’m curious about it in part because my sister-in-law is just about to get her Ph.D. in philosophy. I’ve tried to get a few free mini-lessons by asking her stupid questions like “If a tree falls in a forest…” and “If some philosophers believe that reality is driven by our senses, then what would they say about the utterly virtual world we’re creating on the web? Is it real, when it exists primarily in our heads?” And other inane questions that don’t even make sense. I’m a distraction. She’s supposed to be finishing up her thesis, not writing long philosophical e-mail explanations to her goofy sister-in-law. But she is an expert. A bonafide professor. If only she didn’t live on the other side of the Atlantic….
3. Physics. Okay, maybe not an entire semester of it. I’m just a little bit interested. My brain isn’t big enough to think quantum-sized thoughts for too long without shutting down.
4. Photography. I love beautiful photography. I’d love to learn how to see with the eye of an artist and capture those moments. Heth posted some photos of her kids taken by a photography-student friend. My keyboard almost shorted out from all the drool dripping down into it as I clicked through them, jealously salivating. I wish I could take pictures like that. Jodie Coston is going to help me with her free online photography course sponsored by morguefile.com.
5. Art appreciation. I love art, but I don’t know much about it. Julie at Mental Tesserae is helping me out, however, by providing a free art lesson in many of her blogs–it’s nothing formal; just a natural outflow of her life and mind. I don’t know how she does it, but she can make amazing connections between her everyday life as a mom and great works of art–teaching about symbolism, and making me laugh and think. All in one post. This one is a good example. (Sometimes it takes a moment to load in order to bring up all that lovely artwork, but believe me, fellow autodidacts, it’s worth the wait.) Also, last Friday Mental Multivitamin offered a great intro-to-art post. Read. Think. Learn about art.
6. Sociology. Okay, I don’t even know what one learns in a sociology class, but I suppose I might get some understanding of how humans in societies evolve as a whole and how variables impact their future. And I do like thinking about that. Right now, for example, I wonder how the rapid and excessive use of technology will change us at a societal level. Would I learn how to analyze that in a sociology class? If so, I think I’d find it interesting.
7. History. Just as I enjoy wondering about the future, I do enjoy looking back to consider the past. For some reason, however, history has never stuck with me. I can’t remember dates or critical events. I’d love to sign up for a course with an especially vibrant instructor who can bring it to life. If still subscribed to cable, I’d watch The History Channel. Since we don’t, I was happy to discover that they have a website, too.
8. Literature. More, more, more! I was an English major because I loved to read and think and write. I still love to read, think, and write–even more! I think I’d appreciate classic stories and themes so much more now than I did at ages 18, 19, and 20. A quick search will bring up many sites where you can read books online for free–Project Gutenberg is a great resource for this. To significantly increase the nerd-factor, I can assign myself essays by visiting a blast from the past: remember Cliff’s Notes?
9. Creative Writing. Yes, I’d love to hang out with like-minded writer-types a few times a week for a semester. Life as a writer-mom gets a little lonely sometimes. Wouldn’t it be nice to gather in a room and work together, comparing notes, learning from each other, sharpening our craft?

I discovered an excellent resource at my local library: The Teaching Company’s Great Courses series. This company has recorded the lectures of professors across the country who are considered some of the top in their field. An entire semester of material for numerous topics is available on several CDs. I decide on an area I want to study, check out the first few packs, and start listening to them on my drive to the kids’ school or on errands. Some lectures are 20-30 minutes long, some are 40. It varies.

It takes hours to work through a class, just as it would if I’d signed up for it and attended the lectures in person. It’s not absolutely perfect–I can’t take notes while I’m cruising along listening, for example, and the kids groan a little when I press play and they hear the introductory music (“it’s so boring, Mom!”). But it’s been a great way to satisfy Autodidact Ann at no financial cost and without having to make major logistical changes in my life (as I would to attend an actual university class). It’s a shame that all those hours of listening don’t get me any closer to a master’s degree, but they do satisfy my craving to learn.

The Teaching Company also offers video options–interestingly, I have one on quantum physics that I picked up at a used book sale one time, so I really can learn a little physics when I’m up for it–but they seem to focus a lot on the audio lectures because people can listen to them on commutes.

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