This article was co-authored by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC and by wikiHow staff writer, Finn Kobler. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.
There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 15 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status.
This article has been viewed 3,550,476 times.
So there’s someone in your life who makes you smile and gives you butterflies. But how can you tell if you’re genuinely falling for them or just enamored by a powerful crush? And do you just love this person or are you truly in love? In this article, we’ll answer all your questions and more, going over a dozen signs you’re in love and then offering expert insight into what love feels like on a psychological and emotional level. Finally, we’ll differentiate between loving and being in love. Keep reading to find out if these warm and exhilarating feelings are the early bloom of a budding romance.
Things You Should Know
- If you notice yourself taking more risks, planning for a more hopeful future, or taking steps to better yourself, odds are you’re falling in love.
- When you fall in love, your body releases hormones like dopamine that may make you feel excited, euphoric, and/or anxious.
- Love is different from being in love. When you’re in love, the feelings of love are involuntary and there’s an added element of romantic attraction.
Steps
wikiHow Quiz: Am I In Love?
Expert Q&A
Video
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about love, check out our in-depth interview with Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC.
References
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuronarrative/201402/what-neuroscience-tells-us-about-being-in-love
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/how-to-stop-thinking-about-someone#refocusing
- ↑ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/love/#LoveValu
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201410/ten-signs-love
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2015/08/27/first-comes-laughter-then-love-study-finds-out-why-humor-important-romantic-attraction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201612/the-7-signs-youve-found-yourself-loving-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201706/6-certain-signs-being-in-love
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201612/the-7-signs-youve-found-yourself-loving-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201705/10-signs-relationship-is-truly-loving
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51393896_Pride_and_Perseverance_The_Motivational_Role_of_Pride
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/why-compliments-make-us-feel-so-good-how-get-better-ncna1062546
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4911849/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4911849/
- ↑ https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/oxytocin-the-love-hormone
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/oxytocin
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-falling-love-gives-you-butterflies-ncna847951
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2016/02/12/health/your-body-on-love/index.html
- ↑ https://www.southuniversity.edu/news-and-blogs/2016/08/the-psychology-behind-love-and-romance-70700
About This Article
To tell if you’re really in love with someone, pay attention to the way you think about them. If you find yourself thinking about the other person all the time, or if you can’t imagine your future without them, then there’s a good chance you’re in love with them. Consider how you feel about their opinions, too. Do you really value what they think and what they have to say? If you have to make a big decision, do you ask them for their input? If so, then you probably love and care about them. It’s also a good sign if you notice the other person’s flaws, but you accept them for who they are anyway. Check your own behavior as well. When you’re in love with someone, you’ll want to be the best version of yourself around them. Pay attention to whether you enjoy helping them and spending time with them—even when you’re not doing anything that exciting together. You might also find that you’re more willing to step outside of your comfort zone or make compromises for someone you love. Also, you’ll feel more comfortable opening up to them and truly being yourself. Being in love isn’t always easy, so pay attention to how you feel and behave in good times as well as bad. If you’re able to make it through rough patches together and still come out feeling good about your relationship, then there’s a good chance you’re in love. For more advice from our Relationships co-author, including how to see if you’re okay with your significant other’s flaws, keep reading.
Reader Success Stories
-
"I like the way it was broken up into parts: what you think, do, and say. That made it easy to follow. Also that it gave specific examples was also helpful. It was written in a non-definitive way by saying, "You MAY be in love," which is more honest."..." more