Why don’t you love yourself?

Don’t hate the skinny girl! This is what I really wanted to say to a few people last night!

Good morning day! Today I am meditating on LOVING THE SKIN YOU’RE IN! Self-hate, self-medicating, self-mutilating, body image issues, envy, jealousy and anger misdirected at those outside of us because we hate the person inside of us!

An observation…

I attended a fabulous event, I wore my sexy new 4” Carlos Santana heels (thank you to my sister for sharing our love of shoes), making me about six foot five! I towered over everyone and everything! Something I LOVE about me—being statuesque!

It was such a beautiful evening with so much happening around me and because I pay attention to EVERYTHING… I noticed everything.

There were women who smiled at me, others who looked at me, as if I’m some sort of circus freak or item on display. There were others who stared in admiration and others who paid me many compliments. And then there were others who threw venom my way.

However, nothing was going to spoil my good time. I danced, I laughed, I danced some more but today I wake up kind of sad… I am feeling a certain way about the women who attempted to fill me with their venom.

Why don’t you love yourself? Why do you hate others?

Do some people believe that those who are thinner somehow have it easier… have it better?

I can’t tell you how often I have been asked if I’m pregnant because I have a belly! A question that truly offends me… because really… what are they trying to say?

I can’t tell you how often I have been called names and been made fun of for being tall and awkward… (I didn’t always love being tall!) The BIG BIRD jokes… the “we don’t need a ladder just call Alicia.” As if being tall was abnormal!

I would never make a “big girl” or “fat” joke! Why do people think it’s ok to make fun of the thinner girl… like she can take it? As if it is ok to hurt someone’s feelings!

“You’re too skinny!”

“You need to eat girl you look malnourished!”

“Your legs are like toothpicks!”

“Let me iron my shirt on your chest!”

None of these jokes are funny… it’s downright cruel and hurtful!

My meditation today is really not about the skinnier, or taller, or prettier, or lighter, or smarter girl at all… today I am meditating on LOVE!

It’s been a long time since I have written about love!

I love my skin!

I love my skinny legs!

I love my complexion!

I love my Amazon height!

I love my thick almost black hair!

I love my hips!

I love my toes!

I love my hands!

I love my eyes!

I love love love love love my smile!

I even love my belly!

This is what I am holding onto today. I know what self-love feels like. There is no diet, no gym, no fashion magazine, no model, no celebrity and no commercial in the world that can give me what I already have. I LOVE THE SKIN THAT I AM IN!

My highest hope for those who are struggling with finding that love of self is that I will know with them that the work begins within and requires willingness, acceptance, openness and a mindfulness of how we really show up in the world. It also requires great compassion and kindness of self!

As far as my LONG LEGS go…They are merely a shell… a cover up for who I really am… and when you take the time to TRULY SEE ME…You will see what beauty and love really looks like!

And so it is!


Song I am listening to… I Can LOVE You by Mary J. Blige.

Copyright © 2013 by Alicia Anabel Santos


2 thoughts on “Why don’t you love yourself?

  1. great article. I used to be 265 lbs, now I am in the 130s. I had weight loss surgery, best thing I’ve ever done, other than having my daughter. Love comes from within. Noone has the right to judge another, and if someone thinks that you are too fat or too thin, it isn’t your issue. Its theirs.


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