Nepal Trip ~ Day 15: Root of Resentment and Reflection

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“Maybe then we wouldn’t have to resent someone’s excellence …… We could align ourselves with it.”

ALIGNING ourselves with excellence… This is my morning meditation.

I have often wondered why people talk about those who have attained certain levels of success and blessings. Those who have more than others. And this measuring and comparing ourselves with ideas of success that puts some people in a bad mood. They begin to question, discredit and talk about how “THEY” those with all this success don’t deserve what they have. Going as far as gossiping about “how they aren’t good enough, how there are far more qualified and deserving people who have worked harder or longer….” and just low frequency level thinking such as this.

Where does this resentment come from?

What is at the root of resenting someone for THEIR excellence?

For as spiritual as this group is I have noticed quite a bit of ENVY, RESENTMENT and JEALOUS tendencies amongst some of the women. And yeah there is some competitiveness… But who I have really been noticing resentment from is Dhriti. Basically, how she could do it better, has climbed more mountains than all of us combined … as if this alone measures how much more experience one has. It’s as if no one else can offer there own experiences and be recognized and acknowledged as valuable.

When Vedanti, on the flip side, celebrates every achievement of our goals, Dhriti’s face hardens, her eyes close… she isn’t present. Her body language tells me she is not happy with her role….she is bitter. The expression on her face speaks volumes about how she feels about being at the back end of the trek. I notice that she even comes off a little angry sometimes.

Is it about getting to the top first or being the last?

Or is not about ARRIVING?

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REFLECTION

What if jealousy was just a matter of geometry were we allow ourselves to stand in relation to another. Maybe then we wouldn’t have to resent someone’s excellence …… We could align ourselves with it.” ~ Parul Sehgal

Something happens to us when we are not satisfied with the roles we have… with our place in it… We become so obsessed and with this desparation to arrive before everyone, to be the one who gets there first, who does it best…

Where OUR place, where we stand and who we ARE just isn’t good enough… w

We want what THEY have. We don’t want them to have it. THIS IS resenting someone else’s excellence…

Chandani is the leader, not because everyone else is less than her — but because she makes us ALL of us feel like we are equally of value. She let’s us know that we each have something amazing to offer… that without each other none of us would make it. What Chandani does is clear the path first, for all of us. She leads the way so we aren’t injured… but sometimes even that she can’t control. We have all gotten injured… all of us have several scrapes and bruises, and many aches and pains.

Chandani just goes first to warn us and inform us of what is ahead… and Dhriti’s role is equally as important because it is she who is watching our back making sure that we all make it! Her job is to ensure that we ALL achieve our excellence… because my excellence is her excellence.

So as I begin this third week of the trek.. the week where I WILL reach the top of Makalu… I am reminded that I will not resent someone elses excellence. I will align myself with their excellence, because what I want for me is what I want for them. I do not envy anything anyone else has. I am standing in MY EXCELLENCE so that I can share it with the world.

And so it is. Namaste~ Aché

To watch Parul Sehgal: An ode to envy | Video on TED.com

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✿✿Note to readers following our journey: Now that we have begun our climb I will not be posting to facebook as often. Please follow my blog at the top of the page. Thank you for your love and well wishes.

✿✿Note to newcomers accepting the writing challenge! You can begin the challenge at any point. There is no right or wrong way to participate. You are not being graded or judged. This is a gift we are giving ourselves. So be gentle during this process. We are about to climb a mountain, YO! Remember that. Remember we must be present. Release all self-defeating thoughts. You can do this. I do want to remind the new climbers that no matter what day you decide to join the challenge please begin at the beginning. It’s important to prepare! Please remember to post your daily responses in my comments on my blog. Sending you all love. See you at the top of the mountain.

With all my love,
Alicia

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