Nepal Trip ~ Day 20: I saw your face on the mountain today just before I got to the top… and Reflection

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I saw your face on the mountain today just before I got to the top…

it was your smile
your dimples
your scent
your heart
your honesty
your strength
your secrets
your history
your love
your childlike innocence
discovered in a woman’s body
I think that’s what I love most about you…
your smile…
that you let me in
that with you I feel safe
even with uncertainty there are things I am certain about
in the way you share your dreams, hopes, fears
your deepest desires without even saying a word.
Through your eyes I hear your voice and I connect to your soul.
An angel dressed in white,
making me homemade oatmeal banana cookies
without milk because you know how it affects my stomach…
your tight hugs from those nine year old arms… simply delicious…
Freshly squeezed orange juice because you want me to be healthy…
You beat my highest score on temple run 2 because you want me to be the best…
my snuggle bunny ever since you were born and now you get to have your own little snuggle bunny… born from your womb.
You, who worry about me, yet deep down you know I will be ok
I know you will too,
me a reflection of you.

Today I saw your face on the mountain right before I got to the top and I am grateful. I am so grateful that you are in my life. So grateful that you are by my side. Thank you are pushing me. Thank you for praying for me. You are the air giving me lift off and I breathe you in.

I love you.

Thank you for arriving and being my eyes.

REFLECTION

Today I reached 27,765 feet (8,463 meters).

I can’t believe I DID IT!

It has taken everything… as I reflect on that moment when I arrived to the top… everything has changed, nothing will ever be the same. I used everything I had left. Those final moments… I pulled myself up. I pulled and pulled and pulled, never letting go of that rope. Once I got to the top I just held on and cried. I extended my arms, looked up at the sky and I just cried and cried thanking God and the Goddesses for getting me there. Thanking my parents for giving me life. Thanking my ancestors for always being my guides and protectors.

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Chandani was right next to me. She held me close and the entire team cheered. We screamed. We did it. We are the Warriors of Light. We chanted, WE ARE THE WARRIORS OF LIGHT!

We could only stay at the top for a short amount of time and then we would be heading back to Camp 2 about 7,600 meters.

I AM A WARRIOR OF LIGHT! I said under my breath. The tears did not stop. Vedanti asked us all to sit down as she led us in a gratitude and reflection circle. She asked us to close our eyes, take each other’s hands… Dhriti was to my left, Vedanti to my right and Lalita was directly across from me in the circle, with flute in hand. Before I closed my eyes I mouthed to her, I love you.

Once my eyes were closed I saw everyone, every single person who has ever encouraged me, every person who has ever supported me, every person who has ever believed in me and my dreams, every person who has donated to every campaign and mission I have gone on, every person who I have shared love and time with, every person who has come into my life, especially those who are still here… those who have always been here.

I saw each and everyone of you when I got to the top and I brought every single one of you with me.

I could feel their presence inside of me. I could feel how proud they are of me. I could feel how happy they will be once they read this love note.

Standing here, I feel this fire in the pit of my stomach and I know that it is Courtney hugging me. I know she is telling me, “Mommy, there is nothing you can’t do! I am so proud of you! I knew you could do it! I love you!”

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I DID IT!

WOW!!!

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Vedanti then encouraged us to just be still and to be in this moment, “the moment when one arrives after preparing, after gathering, after planning, after climbing, after struggling… after one arrives… this is the moment we must be in.”

She asked us to take some time to connect to a place inside, to commune quietly with the mountain… to sit in silence and to call forth ALL that we desire and would like to take back with us from the moutain. Then she asked us each to pick one person to bring to the top of this mountain in this exact moment… she asked us to select a person in our lives that requires Makalu’s strength, Makalu’s grace, Makalu’s history, Makalu’s fierceness, Makalu’s fearlessness, and Makalu’s healing. Once I had that person in my mind we were asked to bring her into this space.

I picked my mother, Carmen Alicia Anabel.

We were then asked to call out the name of the person we selected and to answer the following:

Why did we call them forth?
What did we want to give them?
What do we want for them?

I call forth my mother and I bring her into this space to say thank you. Mami, mi madre bella. What I want to give you is hope. It is not too late for you to have the life you have always dreamed of. Madre, you are a force, a beacon of light, you make everyone smile. What I want to tell you is that you have been and are my best friend, you are the best mother and most important woman I will ever know. You are the best example of what it is to be a woman. What I want for you is more years in this lifetime so that I can give you just a portion of all that you have given to me. I am so grateful for you and I LOVE YOU deeply.

Namaste~

My beloved’s it is time to say goodbye to the mountain. Take a moment because now is when the journey is really getting started. Shortly we begin our descent!

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And so it is. Namaste. Aché

✿✿Note to readers following our journey: Now that we have begun our climb I will not be posting to facebook as often. Please follow my blog at the top of the page. Thank you for your love and well wishes.

With all my love,
Alicia

✿✿Please feel free to Like ✔ Share ✔ Tag ✔
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