Today I leaped. I jumped between the cliff and I was terrified. Yamuna assured me that she would be right behind me. One by one we jumped holding on to our ropes for dear life. Our descent is moving a little faster than our climb… yet it is still grueling and requires just as much strength, precaution and ease as in the ascent.
We are being called to use a diffferent kind of body strength to hold our selves up, to hang when necessary almost as if we are free falling. One wrong move and one or all of us could fall to our death. This requires a tremendous amount of focus. I am watching my every step. Each move is calculated. Intentional. Before I make a move I have to be sure that I will be grounded and my footing firmly planted on even the smallest of spaces. My constant thoughts are, “will I be safe? Is where I am stepping safe?
Safety on Makalu is a wonderful metaphor for my life. Am I safe? Do I feel secure? Am I safe in all aspects of my life?
One of the things I have been thinking about is how things haven’t happened the way I have expected them to, career and life wise. I had a plan. I had goals. I was taking steps. I was moving forward. I was answering my call. I thought I was doing everything right and that in the end the rewards would be visible, tangible… like the most delicious flower I would would be able to hold it and smell it and see it. And then life has its way of shifting and changing and reminding me that things don’t always turn out the way you had hoped and planned… there is another way… a way that sometimes even the best vision can’t see. And this shift has left me feeling unsafe, insecure and uncertain about my future.
Security and safety are incredibly important. I have been so incredibly disappointed about certain outcomes and experiences and at the same time I have forgotten that this may very well be for my highest good… that even in those perceived disappointments lie the blessings for my life. This security and safety that I am looking for is not OUT THERE!
It’s about taking a leap even when there isn’t a net beneath me.
Taking a leap is about risk
Taking a leap is about faith
Taking a leap is about trust
Taking a leap is about willingness
It is about being willing to trust that I AM ALWAYS provided for. Today I am mediating on willingness and on being present.
How have I not been willing?
How have I been resistant?
How have I blocked my good?
How have I remained stagnant?
This is what I am meditating on today … that life is showing me something completely different than I had planned for or even knew I wanted. That what I am being called to do is stay open, take a leap of faith, not resist, and be willing to release all the limiting beliefs. I am choosing to tap into that place within where love lives. This is what I am being called to hold onto… not the plan… I am being called to hold onto MY LOVE, MY FAITH. This is what I choose to remember today.
Today I affirm: My blessings are on its way. For this knowing I am so grateful.
And so it is. Namaste. Aché
With all my love,