Me: “Como asi?”
Him: “Yo podia hacer dos cosas…”
Me: “Cuales cosas?”
Him: “Muralista o doctor.”
Me: “Porque no lo hiciste?”
Him: “No se, cosas de la vida!”
Him: “Sometimes, one rejects what is sent to them… intended for them…”
Me: “How so?”
Him: “I could have done two things in/with my life.”
Me: “What things?”
Him: “I could have been a muralist or doctor.”
Me: “Why didn’t you do that?”
Him: “I don’t know! Such is life…”
It was not what he said, but the sadness with which he said it. As the words muralist and doctor came out I heard years of defeat and disappointment. I could hear in his voice this yearning for another life, not the life he was living. I could hear the fear in his voice that “this was as good as it gets!” As he shared his life story in the ten minute cab ride, I kept thinking about the quote, “its never too late…” and I asked him if he believed that to be true.
He’s been in this country four years. He is not really happy here. He shared with me that he longs to return to his country. Four years it has taken for him to finally feel like he is ok! But is he really ok?
OK could mean anything.
OK could mean he is relieved to finally move out of the room he was renting because moving to this country does not guarantee that you will have some place to live or that you will be comfortable.
OK could mean that he learned just enough English to not get taken advantage of in the streets of New York.
OK could mean that he is finally able to send money to a family who believes that the first week of arriving to the Untied States translates to him swimming in seas of money that he would just pick up from the streets.
OK could mean that he has some relief because he finally has a gig as a cab driver and is able to keep his own schedule… making ten dollars here, six dollars there… some days that are good, most days that not. Relieved that at least he’s not doing dishes.
Could you imagine driving all day and not even picking up one passenger? How do you eat? How do you live? Who do you tell? What do you tell the family that is waiting with their hands out?
This is what is wonderful about meeting strangers in NYC, you never know where your lessons will come from.
It is never too late!
I will be 44 years old this July…
It has been 44 years of a life lived…
It has been 44 years of dreams dreamt…
It has been 44 years with amazing experiences…
It has been 44 years of some painful, harsh and challenging experiences…
It has been 44 years of the greatest loves…
It has been 44 years of its NEVER TOO LATE!
As I begin to close on this trip I am thinking a lot about what my life will be once I return to my home and the people I love.
What is it that I want to experience?
Who have I become?
What are the new dreams I want to manifest?
What dream will I realize and fulfill this year?
As I approach the end of my descent I have so much I am thinking about and so much that I am grateful for. Today I am a woman with a plan and a knowing that ITS NEVER TOO LATE! And there isn’t a second to waste.
And so it is. Namaste. Aché
With all my love,