Nepal Trip ~ Day 39: Lost Little Girl… the pressure

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She came to me in my dreams. They always come in my dreams. She was mute. Her eyes carried so much pain in them. I saw sadness, fear, disappointment, despair, grief, confusion and questioning.

In her eyes she carried all of her pain… all of her questions… so many questions…

She questions who she is
She questions what she is doing
She questions where she is going
She questions what life is all about
She questions whether or not she has made the right life choices
She questions society and all the pressures
She questions elitism and expectations placed on her
She questions which way she should go
She questions what she should do with so many questions

Her eyes exploding into waterfalls. What is she chasing standing still?

She doesn’t want to be touched.
She doesn’t want to be held.
She just wants the pain to go away.
She just wants to believe she will be ok.

It’s is hard to see my child in pain… it kills me to see my little girl hurt… She came to me in a dream and I know she needs me…

REFLECTION

I am someones mother. I have many women who have mothered me… my own mom… many aunts and friends. Also there are many woman I have helped to give birth to. I am a midwife and mother to quite a few women and writers. To my daughter I am her mother. She has seen me through some pretty dark days. Not my beginings but everything from the nineties to today. She is the one person I can fully be myself with. I hope she knows she can be who she is with me and that I will never stop loving her. In fact, I will love her more.

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Today I am thinking about my daughter and the mountain she is now called to climb. I wish her safe journey and may she know how proud I am to be her mother.

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And so it is. Namaste. Aché

With all my love,
Alicia

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