Each Wednesday (or thereabouts) I’ve been recording a Curiosity Journal to recap the previous week using these tag words: reading, playing, learning, reacting and writing. Sometimes I mix up the order, just to keep you on your toes.
Care to join me?
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Reading
Last week I read and commented on 14 student papers.
Writing
Today I wrote a vision piece for the Family channel at The High Calling. Well, “vision piece” might be too fancy and formal for what it is. Using posts we have published in the last year or so, I tried to illustrate how we tell stories about the work of family as well as those about the intersection of work and family.
Learning
At the start of composition class this week, I wrote on the white board: “There is a cat that sits on the fence every afternoon.”
“This sentence is grammatically correct,” I said, “but in terms of style, it’s weakened by ‘there is.’ Eliminating that phrase and any like it will—well, wait a minute. What are some variations on this?”
The kids stared at me for a minute.
“We’re using ‘there is’ here…’is’ is a form of ‘to be,'” I reminded them. “Can you think of some other form of ‘to be’ that could also be used with ‘there’?”
Someone timidly raised her hand and offered, “There are?”
“Good! Another?”
“There were?”
“Sure. And all the other forms of ‘be,’ like, ‘there would be’ and ‘there will be.’ All of those can often just be plucked right out of the sentence. You’ll have to switch things around a bit to rephrase, but nine times out of ten, the sentence will be stronger. Let’s work together to figure out a different wording for this one. How can we eliminate ‘there was’ from this sentence without changing its meaning?”
The kids tossed out alternatives, like, “The cat sits on the fence every afternoon,” and “Every afternoon, the cat sits on the fence.”
“Good!” I said. “Can you see that the sentence is stronger and simpler with the cat sitting? There are several ways to create a stronger sentence.” No one blinked an eye when I used “there are.” I had to point it out to them. Then they kind of chuckled.
Back home at my desk, I hear myself use “there are” all the time and watch myself type it onto the screen—not that it’s wrong, mind you. I think I made it clear that sometimes a “there are” construction will turn out to be the best choice. But the lesson reminds me to hunt those babies down in my own work and at least consider a revision. When I do, I’m almost always happier with the result.
Playing
On a sunny afternoon after our co-op let out, kids ran and played in the grassy area beside the church where we meet. A high school boy tossed a football to two elementary students, one of them a sweet little first grader. A junior high kid skateboarded through the parking lot, a pied piper trailed by a line of younger boys racing after him on foot.
Along the sidewalk moms chatted while girls and guys laughed. One teen from my writing class sat on the hood of her car to catch some rays. The scene felt like it was lit for a movie production, everyone glowing.
Reacting
My daughter and I headed over to Whole Foods to grab a couple of items. After we wove through the parking lot and arrived at the entrance, we discovered men and women standing outside the door next to bins of apples and locally grown tomatoes—their arms crossed, brows furrowed—staring into the store.
The lights were out.
I stepped right up to the doors and peered inside. Sunlight angling down from high windows in the front provided the only illumination—enough that I could see people milling around. Cashiers were bagging food. Turning to a man with a Whole Foods tag pinned to his shirt who looked sort of like a bouncer, I asked, “Can I just run in? I know exactly what I want and where it is.”
“No, I’m sorry, but no one can go in. The lights are out. It’s dangerous for you to be in there in the dark.”
Quite a few people were navigating the front of the store just fine, but I didn’t argue. My daughter and I gave up and left the small crowd of hopeful onlookers who were waiting for the moment the lights would switch on. As we stepped out into the bright sunlight, I heard someone sigh heavily.
Later that night, we told the story to the rest of the family, and they laughed about the danger. Another of my daughters said, “They just didn’t want people to steal anything!”
“Could be. But what would people take?” I asked. “Organic flour?”
“Protect the wheat germ!” my husband exclaimed.
I pretended to be a news announcer: “During a recent power outage at Whole Foods, people all over the north side were looting the place, stuffing gluten-free pasta and organic vegetables under their shirts in the darkness and then rushing home to live healthier lives.”
“How terrible!” my son declared.
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Megan Willome says
Oh, good grief! I just did a search on my 4,6000-word article and found oh, so many “theres.” I stopped counting at 10. Now it’s two (ignoring the ones in interview quotes). Sigh.
annkroeker says
Do you mean that you revised those sentences? If so, do you like it better revised?
And you can’t change the interview–besides, it’s how we speak. In fact, I find it useful when introducing something: “There are many ways to revisit and revise our work to make it stronger. First, avoid forms of ‘to be.'” And so on.
Anyway, remember: the construction is not wrong!
Megan Willome says
I did revise the sentences, leaving only two, mainly for effect (because sometimes a short sentence with “there” packs a punch). But at one point, I found two in a single paragraph. And I turned it in today at 4,500 words
annkroeker says
I love hearing that my little lesson in style could inspire you to look at your work with that in mind! Today I was reading a story in the Wall Street Journal and saw lots of instances of “there are” and its first cousin: “it is.” As I read, I realized that for some articles and essays–mostly informative in nature, and in instances where first person is not possible to use–that construction can help out. Like, “It is a little known fact that…” Sometimes a sentence like that gets the information flowing without the author inserting herself into it as first person.
Also, I thought about the emphasis just yesterday. One of my students asked about using “the” in front of cat instead of “a” and how that might change it. In class, I didn’t realize what she was asking, but later I did. “There is the cat that sits…” Putting “there is the cat” does indeed emphasize where that cat is, as if I’ve been telling my husband about this neighborhood tabby but he’s never spotted her. And then, when I see her, I point and say, “*There* is the cat that sits…”
Anyway. I just want to be deliberate when I use it.
annkroeker says
Also, congratulations on finishing that massive article!!
Trish Southard says
Whole Foods was protecting the $34.88lb. pine nuts!
We enjoy pasta on thursdays, and I ran into our little natural food store for pine nuts. I was aghast they were $10.00 for a little bag. We were having linguine with Todd’s Pesto and toasted pine nuts were necessary for the dish to be complete. I actually measured out half the bag and have stored the other 1/2 for next week.
annkroeker says
Hilarious! Yes, it’s true, a lot of their stuff is truly valuable, and I actually realize their concern. It just sounded funny when we oversimplified it! 🙂
Your Pesto with Pine Nuts sounds divine!
Hazel Moon says
I must watch my there are’s from now on. Too bad the lights were out at the Whole Foods store. at first I thought they were being picketed, but that didn’t make sense. Wow, reading and grading all those papers, reminds me when I read all the post at Tell Me a Story. I try to make nice comments but I notice that some do not act on the suggestion to make comments to the story next to them. Such is life, can’t regulate everyone!
annkroeker says
Hazel, we felt some mystery upon our approach, as well. Then it was just the lights. We did return a couple of days later and the lights were on. I got my crackers and pasta. 🙂
Also, sometimes “there are” is the best construction for a given situation. So don’t be afraid!
People are pressed for time–I suspect that might be the situation with Tell Me a Story. I struggle to visit people through Food on Fridays (I’m grading so many papers!).
Thanks to you, Hazel, for taking the time and being such a gift.
Laura says
Your Whole Foods story made me laugh because I could so hear you doing that announcer thing. Maybe in a PeeWee Herman voice.
annkroeker says
Just now, because you mentioned PeeWee, I tried it out…but I’ve had a sore throat, and the way I have to flex muscles and ligaments in my neck makes it hurts too much. I’ll just do the 1950s fedora-wearing reporter voice. It doesn’t hurt as much to make my voice lower!